Good News/Bad News

Gold is trading around $825 and silver around $15.50. Good news if you own some, bad news if the only bling you own is the crap you wear.

USD is now worth $.91 Canadian. Good news if you're Canadian, bad news if you just wanted to be. Caveat: if planning to beg from Canadians it's now good form to ask "Mister, can you spare 90 cents".

Fewer deaths in Iraq. Good news because, well, people not dying is a good thing. Bad news for anyone wanting us out of Iraq....most Americans don't care as long as we're "winning".

Mexico awash in silver & gold. Good news: fewer Mexican immigrants for us to fight over in the near future. Bad news: fewer Mexican immigrants for us to fight over in the near future.

Hollywood writers on strike. Good news: many series will not be returning from this break. Bad news: no Daily Show...turn off your TV and read the Scotsman.

Nevada will probably remain a Red State. Good news: we don't really matter. Bad news: I still live here.

Voodoo Economics 101

Four Major Banks Borrow From Fed

NEW YORK (AP) -- Four major banks said Wednesday they each borrowed $500 million from the Federal Reserve's discount window, lending weight to the central bank's efforts to restore liquidity to tight markets.

In a joint statement, the latter three banks said they decided to borrow the money to demonstrate "the potential value of the Fed's primary credit facility" and encourage its use by other banks.

"Simultaneous action by these four institutions -- at the same time, on the same day, for the same amount of money -- suggests that the move is intended to have some symbolic value," said Aaron Gurwitz, co-head of portfolio strategy at Lehman Brothers Investment Management Division. "But it may also be a way for them to make money."

Gurwitz followed up his statement by hopping three times on each foot and rattling a chicken bone.

Head shaman Bernanke remained in seclusion today and is expected to announce his latest tea leaf reading later this week

Irrelevant Thing that Caught My Attention

Here is where I have to confess to being so inherently dull I sometimes watch The Weather Channel. Go ahead and laugh, it beats being one of the herd watching WWE.

Anyhoo, I kept finding myself staring at anchor Betty Davis and could not figure out why something about her seemed so familiar. Finally nailed it. She's a ringer for actress Sandra Bernhardt. Check it out.

Is anyone else seeing the the irony here? The first person our brilliant government decides to lock up in quarantine is a personal injury attorney.

I'm still laughing my ass off.

I'm a Terrible Person and I'm Really OK With That

We'd probably all be a lot better off if we faced up to the fact that deep down we really are kind of a vicious, predatory species. It's easier to excercise a bit of control over something if you at least acknowledge a problem exists.

That said, I'm having a difficult time controlling my dark side today. I'll refrain from dancing joyfully in the street and confine myself to refurbishing my Tinky-Winky doll.

I honestly do wish I could say I'm sorry but I can't. Jerry Falwell singlehandedly did more to destroy intelligent debate and discourse in this country than nearly any other individual. He was among the most powerful leaders in modern times to elevate the idea of demonizing groups of people as a matter of public policy to an actual talking point. He spent his entire life advocating to take away the rights of women, minorities, gays, and insert any other people who are not white, evangelical Christians.

Most of the media and public figures decided to treat him as though he simply had a different but valid point of view. He didn't and I don't care how many coats of whitewash you try to put on it, his words and actions were destructive, damaging to our country and in many cases....downright evil. Advocating for state sponsored discrimination and fewer civil rights for any group of people is not an "alternative viewpoint", it's unacceptable to any civilized person.

Adios Jerry, you will not be missed.

People Are Strange

More proof I should be careful what I ask for. I posted a while back that Taylor Marsh needed to update her My Space page since it was showing her as being 19 years old.

Well she did. She is now 14 years old and her profile is now set to private. In which case I am now 12 and a half. I'm not even to to try to figure that one out, looks like Starbuck isn't the only one with issues.

Puzzled

Speaking of "presence" being in the eye of the beholder, I've never either disliked or liked the queen because royalty has about as much to do with my life as a Martian soil sample but....someone please explain to me, what was she thinking when she put that easter basket on her head???

Update: I have to give her credit, easter basket or no, she is ever so much more attractive than our own Gollum as seen at Sparrow Chat.

Stupid Scammer Tricks

I'm a bit jealous. Blue Lyon finds a transcript of Vilsack's farewell speech in her inbox and I get...scheming weenies.

Dear Friend

This mail will definitely be coming to you as a surprise,but i must crave your indulgence to introduce myself to you. I am Lance corporal. ########,a US marine currently serving in Iraq. The reason why i am contacting you via this media is because it is anonymouse. I cant contact my friends and family back home as they are listed as acquitances in my military file and to contact them may compromise the confidentiality of this transaction. I am currently in duty break . I and my partner, secretly moved some abandoned cash in a mansion belonging to the slayed former president of Iraqi, SaddamHusein and the total cash is $25million. We have discovered the cash forover 3 months now but we waited until the verdict has been passed and we are sure there is no way anybody could have a trace.

As I write this letter to you, this box is here with me in cash as I secretly moved it out of Iraq to Kuwait. You do not have to be afraid of anything as no one else knows about this and everything is safe. I would be pleased and grateful to you if you could assist us in receiving this box for us on your behalf as I will be heading back soon to camp in Iraq to join my collegues. Of course, I will give you some money for your efforts. We have limited time now, kindly get back to me immediately.

Moving the funds out of here is not going to be much of a problem as arrangements are being made towards that. All I want from you is your trust and assurance that if the box gets to you, you can keep it in a safe place until our arrival. I have to stop here now.we have limited time now, kindly get back to me immediately.

In God we trust,Lance corporal. ########

Hopefully unlike in the Nigerian e-mail scams, no congressmen will fall prey to this one. Maybe the sender just assumed I was retarded since I live in Pahrump.

It's the Non-News

Much ado about Obama being the only no-show for the event in Carson City today. Can't say it excites me much, outside of Las Vegas I don't see him swaying any votes in rural or northern Nevada. Sorry folks, I can't even come up with a fantasy involving a Nevada sweep for Obama. It ain't happenin' and apparently he knows this too. Nevada Up North has more.

UK is pulling out of Iraq. Is that supposed to surprise me?

CNN chops off Blair's speech, says "obviously he's going to go on and on, we'll come back to this later". Guess it was taking up too much valuable time they needed to cover Brittany's hairdo.

Expected squealing from the netroots about Fox news coverage of the Nevada democratic debate in August. Commenters lobbing stones at Myrna over at Reno and It's Discontents. Throw 'em off the balcony Myrna.

Continued in-depth coverage of Anna Nicole's corpse: day uh, what...12?

I am seriously bored people. Stop being so damned predictable.

In the meantime:

Take a fun quiz at Konagod. The Omnipotent Poobah has the low-down on turd flinging apes and Midtopia discusses the genetics of altruism. You can test your religious beliefs at Politics Plus or revisit stuff-we-shoved-under-the-rug over at Abandon Mythology.

I'm off to surf real estate listings for Las Cruces.

The Lighter Side of Terrorism

Nothing like having a major US city brought to its knees by cartoon characters.

Jan. 31 (Bloomberg) -- Suspicious devices that led to bridge closings in Boston and forced the evacuation of a hospital building were part of a cable television channel's marketing campaign, officials said.

The devices were magnetic lights promoting ``Aqua Teen Hunger Force,'' a show on the Turner Broadcasting System's Cartoon Network, according to a statement from Time Warner's Turner broadcasting unit.

``They are part of an outdoor marketing campaign in 10 cities,'' the statement said. ``They have been in place for two to three weeks.''

Go Aqua Teen Hunger Force! Um, wait a sec, they've been in place for two or three weeks? So much for early intervention. Had they been a real threat Boston would now have some brand new pre-fab holes to make into ponds.

Boston Mayor Thomas Menino promised whoever planted the devices faces heavy criminal penalties.

``Two to five years for each one of them,'' Menino said.

So you're going to jail advertisers, or more likely, the working people who were paid to put up the advertising because you weren't smart enough to know the difference between what basically amounted to a super-sized Lite-Brite and an actual bomb?

'Nuff said. Every time I think we've reached the peak of retardedness someone has to go one further.

Huked on Foniks For Pundits

Funniest thing I've heard today: Tom DeFrank speaking on the Lou Dobbs show, "this president has the courage of his convictions".

I'll allow Mr. DeFrank that this was a true statement. I'm going to have to point out that so do paranoid schizophrenics. Having the courage of ones' convictions can be a powerful thing, for better or for worse. When one has the courage of ones' convictions in spite of all factual evidence that your convictions are either false or detrimental then it is commonly called "stuck on stupid".

Looking at the facts, that Mr. DeFrank (and many like him) receive upwards of $7500 to state the obvious for common folk such as myself, and the fact that at least 50% of the common folk elected this administration I'm forced to conclude that Emperor Bush is not the only one who is stuck on stupid.

Now I can say our Naked Emperor is a fool, that he's a paranoid, megalomaniacal warmonger with dreams of conquest and that he has sent this country on a path that will haunt us for at least a generation and increased the threat to the personal safety of every American and to the country in general at least 50% by his actions but coming from me it doesn't mean much. I'm no one of any importance so it matters about as much as if I told you the moon was made of cheese.

On the other hand, I think I could cough up $7500 if I could find someone whose words would carry some weight who would appear on primetime CNN and call a spade a spade. Quit talking around the Bush and just get on there and speak the truth: we have an insane person running our country.

See, it isn't difficult. A lot of us know it already. Just get up there and say it straight out in plain English that every American can understand. To hell with the sensibilities of the 30% of our population who are so intellectually impaired they cannot grasp this concept. The rest of us are tired of being dragged around by the mentally deranged. I have nothing against people with mental illness, I just don't think they ought to be controlling countries, particularly not countries with as much military capability as this one.

As far as I can tell just about everyone who is "anyone" is more concerned with losing face in public than with stopping this train wreck. If you're more concerned with your image or your poll ratings than with the fact that your country is being systematically destroyed and that it's likely to get worse, much, much worse, then really, I have to wonder if you have the worlds best exit plan or if you are just stupid.

I wonder how long until Canada begins contemplating a border fence to keep out all those pesky Americans?

Not Earthshaking But it Still Bugs You

I have to ask for help on this one. The question just keeps gnawing at me and will not go away no matter how I try to put it aside.

No, I'm not talking about why we have to take off our shoes at the airport when any idiot could think of at least a few better places to hide a weapon than between their toes. Have to confess I love the imagery I get imagining a long line of proctologists standing ready to check in the passengers.....but no, my question is even more trivial.

What in the HELL is Buffalo Sauce? I can only come up with a few substances of a "sauce-like" nature which might be readily produced by a buffalo and I cannot fathom wanting to ingest any of them. I know the theory that Cowbirds once followed the herds in order to lay their eggs in the feces of buffalo....I suppose that could count as "buffalo sauce" but I'm not a Cowbird and I don't lay eggs so it doesn't sound very appealing.

One or two other substances come to mind, I'll let you contemplate what those might be. The only other possible answer being that Buffalo Sauce actually contains not one iota of essence-of-buffalo. Which begs the question: why call it Buffalo Sauce and why, oh, why does this moniker seem so appealing to so many people who would likely never consider ingesting authentic essence-of-buffalo? Seems kind of like calling fried potato skins "Armadillo on the Half-Shell".

Alrighty then, enough with the mammalian sauces, next question: who on earth becomes a proctologist and why?

Courtesy Link

For anyone hoping I was going to talk about our state scandal-of-the-day, Miss Nevada and the case of the hot pics, sorry, I'm not. Our last Miss Nevada was pro-nuclear dump site so this one getting raunchy for the camera just doesn't excite me much. Just to help out here is the link to them for those of you with inquiring minds.

I Need a New Drug

Maybe I just need a new supplier. Yesterday was possibly the worst performance ever by every major news outlet in the US. I hate to do it but I have to quote Dr. Phil and ask you "what the hell were you thinking??".

Yeah you CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX...all of you. Hey retards...there's a war going on, no wait, make that two wars that we are directly involved in, bodies, bodies, everywhere and insane quotes from politicians and their lackeys dropping like dust bunnies in a Nevada windstorm. That isn't even counting the fun and games going on in places we haven't even set foot in like say...Darfur or Nigeria or hey, just o'er our border down Mexico way. Toss in our ongoing domestic insanity like the spiraling death count in Washington D.C. and oh, I dunno, stuff like the spread of methamphetamine abuse, millions of citizens with no health care, and our ever so popular campaign to stop hating each other long enough to band together, united in our hatred of Mexicans and one would think that you'd have no dearth of informative news to report.

Apparently one would have been mistaken. The hours long commentary and rehash about three lost hikers was bad enough. Yes, it's news...for a few minutes but please, we are talking about three people who decided of their own free will to go hiking up a mountain just days prior to what was expected to be the storm of a decade. I did and do hope they are found, regardless of circumstances I do not wish harm to anyone or think anyone deserves to die alone and under horrible circumstances. My heart especially goes out to their families and friends and I'm not making light of it or dismissing it.

What I am saying is the media needs to get a little perspective. Rehashing this tragedy all week long and yesterday in particular ad infinitum is not going to help nor is it doing your job which, at least theoretically, is supposed to be to inform the public. It's also highly offensive and disrespectful of the thousands of people who have died and are still dying either in what they honestly believe or did honestly believe was honorable service to their country. It is disrespectful to the hundreds of people who die senselessly every day in this country for no reason other than they lack money for decent medical care or because they happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Easy enough to do here in the good old US of A because a violent lot we are.

So that's it media people, every time you harp endlessly over only certain tragedies, elevating the victims almost to the point of deification, you diminish everyone else. Intentional or not you send the message "these people are more important than the rest of you". You do this on a regular basis, when a policeman is killed, when a young suburban mother is brutally murdered, when a pillar of some community becomes a victim, knock it off. True, every now and then you complain about racism, classism, and our national obsession with idolizing not-terribly-bright people with exceedingly hot booties but face it guys, you are the ones feeding the fires.

Which brings us to yesterday's even more totally disgusting news fiasco, Der Trumper and the Beauty Queen. A three minute blurb would have been amusing, hours and hours of air time for these dimwits was enough to push sane people to the verge of suicide.

Take a man who is famous for nothing better than making loads of money exploiting the tendency of some folks to seek ever more outrageous ways to display their wealth and in fact, leads the pack in his ability to take tacky and ostentatious to new heights and toss in an attractive young woman who has been encouraged to develop an overinflated sense of her own importance and BINGO, huge news story. Yes Donald, we know she is a "special person" per your own statement made on national television not long ago re: how to be successful, you stated the first and most important thing was to "be born to the right parents". This young lady obviously was, she not only inherited wonderful looks but also could afford the best dental care. Such wisdom from a man with a mouth reminiscent of an overactive rectal sphincter.

Sorry newspeople, twenty-year-olds with too much fame and money partying and behaving foolishly is not news, even if they happen to be bootylicious. Definitely not hours and hours of news.

I understand I may very well be in the minority here, the majority may indeed prefer this type of news coverage. There may be 50 million Americans who would appreciate 8 hour discussions of a boil removed from some pop star's ass. In this age of niche markets I'm simply asking if it isn't possible someone could provide a cable news program for the minority of us who would prefer serious in-depth coverage of issues we actually care about?

C'mon guys, I'm jones'n here, hook me up.