Monday, April 30, 2007

My Weird Reason for giving Up a Nasty Habit

As of tomorrow morning I will be smoke-free. Probably crazier than batshit too but hopefully that will pass. If not I'll just fit in better with most of the locals so no worries.

I'd been wanting to quit for quite a while but the real kicker for me wasn't even the health consideration (I seem to be damned near impossible to kill) or social pressure (keeping people away always seemed like a plus to me).

The kicker is the millions of dollars going to wealthy Republicans in places like Kentucky and North Carolina every year. The same people that help support the insane pile of crap our government has become. I just can't do it any more. Between the two of us here I would hate to admit the thousands we've spent annually on cigarettes, it's downright embarassing but it's all over now.

R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Company, it was fun while it lasted but we've moved on. Time to go our separate ways, think of it as an extended one-night stand and you don't look so good this morning in the sunlight without your makeup. Don't try and blame this break up on the environmentalist movement or political correctness....fact is we just hate your asses because really, once we took a good look at you, you're just a tired, scheming, old whore. Send a thank you note to your friend Dubya and his buddies for forcing us to see you in daylight.

14 comments:

Vigilante said...

Congratulations! I remember when I quit. I used to wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat from a nightmare in which people were holding me down, forcing me to smoke. But I never went back to the 'backy habit! Good luck!

NV Mojo said...

Good job! Keep going!

pekka said...

Oh lord, quitting is just about hardest thing I've ever done! Actually, quitting is easy, for I did it at least ten times.

One thing that finally got me over the hump was, that I did it with my own terms. Not for anybody else but for me. I patiently waited the longest time to get so sick and tired of it that it would be doable. Nothing beats the determination when it is allowed to come from inside. Also, I found out that the nervous energy, which was left in me without cigarettes and all the rituals around it, has to be covered by something else. I started to go to gym and also increased my physical activities by 100% which in my case was easy. If you just sit around, and especially with the drink, it might be more of a torture to not have some puffs from the old cancer roll. If your associates smoke, it will make temptation even harder, so, dump the bastards! ;)

I wish you all the luck, Mama mia!

Not Your Mama said...

I hear ya, I had quit but married a smoker and slipped back into the habit. The first time I quit was EVIL, was more like what I imagine heroin withdrawal would be like than what I'd have guessed nicotine withdrawal would do.

The final straw was watching a documentary on tobacco and looking at a big ol' white, republican good old boy from North Carolina smugly declaring how he and his tabacky were here to stay.

All I could think was "not if I can help it you pompous ass". Not another penny from me you corn-fed m'fer.

pekka said...

Yeah, it is totally expected, that your reason for quitting is a bit "weird", Mama. However, the main thing is, that the tabacky farmer from Carolina is finally, but unknowingly, doing something good in this world and helping you, by the sheer obnoxious presense of his, to kick the habit. The good lord works mysterious ways! ;)

You are right, smoking is considered even more addictive than doing heroin. Unless, this, a few years old information, has been proven wrong. What's bad today might be good tomorrow or maybe something between the good and the bad. The point is, that sciencetists keep on finding ways to prove that the previous knowledge we so proudly had is totally bonkers.

The worst to last! The women are proven to have a lot rougher time quitting than the men. A general trend in the Western idustrialized nations seems to be, that while a percentage of smokers among the males is going down, the females have been taking up the slack. The women have finally got equality in the lung cancer rates. Although, I am a long time, firm believer in the equality between the sexes, I wish you, the dames, would have left this one alone!

Not Your Mama said...

Well, there was one other reason. I was looking at the incredibly beautiful, fertile land that all this tobacco is grown on and couldn't help thinking how much better if food could be grown there.

With so many lacking adquate food in the world I couldn't help feeling criminal for supporting this industry when these lands could be put to better use.

Flimsy Sanity said...

Eating sunflower seeds helped me with the nervousness. Trading one nasty habit for another, but it helped keep my hands busy. They say the first 72 hours is actual physical withdrawal and after that it is mental cravings but I don't know.

cls said...

Good luck NYM! What a big beautiful F/U this is to big tabacky.

RJ Adams said...

As all us "smuggies" who gave up years ago, dish out advice for free - my only addition would be "stay in the moment". I found the hardest part to be thinking ahead, when that nasty little voice in the head would say, "But, what about when......?" You know, having a drink, gabbing with friends, etc, etc .....I found the reality of those situations far more amenable than the prospect. So, my stock response to that nasty little head-sprite was, "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it."
I hope you make it, NYM. I'd love to see the tobacco industry collapse into a vast heap of its own filthy ash.

TomCat said...

I wish you every success. Mama.

Note to self: Hide from Mama for the next few days!

Not Your Mama said...

Day one and I haven't killed anyone....yet. Just this once say thank you to the folks at Pfizer's Swedish division for providing me with anti-murder gum.

If I get too bad just hand over Lou Dobbs and I'll gnaw on his head.

TomCat said...

You might want to avoid watching Bill O'Lielly for the time being.

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