Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Let Them Eat Cake

Every now and then when I'm not in the middle of separating some republican from their cash or posting something to annoy them I do something useful or at least different.

Not sure if it was the craving for toasted marshmallows the California fires gave me or the fat piles of money I've taken from some stupid trader-boyz over the last couple of months but I was inspired to bake a cake. That's about as out-of-character as it gets for me considering I once tried to buy a house without a kitchen. Don't get me wrong, I can cook, it just isn't something I choose to do very often.

Anyhow, just to piss off the food police crowd here are a few pointers.

  • Never, ever use store bought frosting.
  • Add cream cheese to your frosting.
  • Always use real sweet cream butter. For sweets (or my nappy hair) the only oils worthy of consideration are coconut or peanut. Corn oil and margarine are for pigs, not humans.
  • Never ruin a chocolate orgasm with cheap ass waxy chocolate. Buy the good stuff.

Feel free to preface your chocolate cake orgy with some nice fried chicken (bread with real grated parmesan). Accessorize with fresh baked bread and wine of your choice (screw the French, the Turks got it goin' on). So far none of the above has given me high blood pressure, high cholesterol or diabetes. If it ever does I will at least die happy.

6 comments:

ryk said...

I don't know what a chocolate orgasm is, but I'd like two please. My name is ryk, and I'm a chocoholic.

Not Your Mama said...

Funny, I'm not but every once in a while nothing else will do.

RJ Adams said...

Sounds good to me, though I've never tried Turkish wine. French wine is excellent, but the good stuff never makes it across the Atlantic. They send us their rubbish. Same goes for the German. I've just spent $8.65 for a cheap and nasty Liebfraumilch they'd feed to the pigs in Deutschland. Strangely, many Californian wines are rated highly in Europe, but I don't like them. It's a pity, given that Wal-Mart's "wine department" (ha-ha!) stocks little else and its virtually as cheap as bottled water.

TomCat said...

Forget the chocolate!! Give me some of the fried chicken. Yum, bird!! :-)

Andrea said...

I always use real butter. In everything. If it's good enough for Julia Child, it's good enough for me :) And I adore a good Italian Chianti with my alfredo (made with heavy cream, of course).

pekka said...

Holy granola, Mama is turning into a domestic goddess! Quite frankly, I thought to have mistakenly gone to a wrong site. ;)

I don't wish to come across as a some sort of a snob, but what's sold under the name chocolate these days is a cruel joke at best or a consumer fraud at worst. When some undetermined, brownish product is called a chocolate bar without having hardly any cocoa in it, the agents of the Homeland Security should be pulled off their silly shadow chasing and employed to hunt down these fraudsters. To have a real honest the goodness chocolate orgasm one needs to have a cocoa content no less than 75%.