Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Universe Can Be Fair, Who Knew!

If you've already seen the "woman chains self to home to avoid foreclosure" bit on the news you may recognise this woman. Sadly I could not locate a picture of her equally retarded cockroach of a spouse or I'd be making custom dartboards out of the pair right now.

What do we learn from this story? Hopefully we learn that when we hit rough financial times ("rough" being relative here since I've never known anyone going through "rough" times who could afford a french manicure much less a house in Mira Mesa, CA) that we probably should NOT run out and take out an ARM on our nearly-paid-off home of 19 years that 90% of Americans could not have afforded in the first place.

You just couldn't deal with the idea of selling and downscaling to a less expensive home in a "less desireable" location, could you? I'll tell you a little secret Mr & Mrs Dumbass: my home is paid for, been paid for a very long time and one of the reasons we decided not to "move up" was because of people like you. See, we just weren't real keen on spending a lot of money to live in a neighborhood filled with twat-brains like you. That would have been "less desireable" to us.

Mr & Mrs Reyno you'd laugh at my little house I'm sure, my 8 year old compact car would not impress you and my unmanicured fingers would certainly be fodder for a lot of jokes but you know what, I'll still have a home and money in the bank and food in my belly when you and your kind are sitting on a street corner waiting for the next soup line to open. The truth is I've been waiting my entire life to see scavenging pond scum like you in this position and was only afraid I wouldn't live long enough to see it. Your tears are like lemon balm to my heart and probably to the hearts of all the people you "helped" out of their homes over the years.

Sadly you'll probably be okay, more than likely end up still better off than the thousands who lost everything in Katrina or the millions who never had anything to lose in the first place. You should be extremely grateful I'm not running the universe or you'd spend the rest of your waste-of-airspace lives trying to decide between buying Top Ramen or toilet paper.

So what did I learn from this? Not that I'm meaner than a junkyard dog, that I already knew. I learned that it is entirely possible to be mad enough to spit nails and laugh till you pee your pants all at the same time.

3 comments:

R J Adams said...

At first I thought you were being a little unfair on this poor women - then I realized she's a realtor who's been making money out of other people's misery.
Shame! Hopefully, she'll have to go live with a mother-in-law she hates.

S2 said...

Spoken like a Scot. :)

Lady-Cracker said...

said..."scavenging pond scum" Please don't give scavenging a bad name. You would not believe what you can find in the trash. Been adding a little of this and that from a little dumpster diving. I don't do it so much now. (I embarass the kids, maybe the husband a little now.)