Thursday, February 15, 2007

ConAgra Foods and Wal-Mart: A Terrorist Link?

Since we are happily accusing everyone who screws up of committing "terrorist acts" I feel obligated to point the finger at ConAgra Foods and Wal-Mart and their devilishly clever plot to poison peanut butter & jelly eating democrats across the nation.

I didn't pay too much attention to the press release this morning but decided to glance at my peanut butter when I was making dinner and lo and behold...I had the winning numbers!

Since I had already eaten about 1/3 of it and I'm not dead I have to assume mine either was not contaminated or I'm a lot harder to kill than ConAgra figured. Take that you devils, foiled again.

Guess that nixes my plan to bake peanut butter cookies for the local Minutemen.


Woozie said...

You could always make the cookies anyway and then show them the jar the peanut butter came from afterwards.

cls said...

Fortunately, we eat JIF, so we are safe!

Omnipotent Poobah said...

"I think it's them Eye-Rainiacs that's commin' after our God-given right to peanut butter.

I'm the de-cider here and I de-cide we's just not gonna' eat no more uh that librul Jimmy Carter paste!"

-- George Bush Morning News Conference

Not Your Mama said...

Woozie: don't tempt me

CLS: not worried, with all the radioactive particles and mining waste we've been exposed to we're probably like cockroaches-immune to everything.

OP: fer sure, fer sure. Must be those Eye-rainiacs.

Women on the Verge said...

I heard that same press conference... you forgot to mention the fact that those who eat whole grain ... TAN... bread are high on the list of suspected terrorists plotting a nouk-u-lar jelly bomb...