Things You Never Needed or Wanted to Know About What Old White Folks Really Talk About
My dearest other, like all of us, has his own particular stereotypical groups that drive him bonkers. One of those is that group of women often referred to as "Soccer Mom's". Suburban, SUV driving, ponytail pulled through the ballcap wearing women of the 20 t0 30 something variety. You know, slightly toned down real-life versions of Desperate Housewives.
I'm not sure if he really dislikes them, they just scare him to death or it's their penchant for suddenly whipping in front of his 2 tons of automotive might. That's beside the point though.
Dear one bought the wrong trash bags, scented trash bags. Me being happily oblivious to what he is doing as my new computer just arrived, I am suddenly assaulted by a strange odor.
Me: what the hell is that smell?
Him: trash bag, sorry, bought the wrong ones.
Me: ah, no biggie
Him: smells like that cheap perfume all the soccer mom's wear
Me: (laughing and trying not to choke) Perfume? No honey, that's the same scent as they use for those "deodorant tampons".
Him: you mean all these years I've been smelling......
Oh the look on his face. A herd of wild buffalo could have easily walked through his wide open mouth. Priceless.
I now return you to the regularly scheduled coverage of Anna Nicole Smith. Have a beautiful day.
7 comments:
How I love playing "Yank Hubby's Chain"...anything with a gynecological reference just sweetens the experience...
E
HA!!! Good one. You gave me my evening chuckle.
He's actually not squeamish zbout these matters normally. It was the combination of this particular demographic group with the idea of female genitalia that got him.
Sort of like the difference between us thinking about male genitalia in general or Dick Cheney's penis in particular...EEK.
Low blow, mama... I haven't even had my morning coffee and I'm already nauseated... Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts...
E
Toxic perfume lady
:)
I freely admit that the Hummer, Suburban, and Expedition driving soccer mom's scare the utter crap out of me as they whip their huge battleships around trying to park facing out as they talk on their cell phones. Great blog by the way.
I used to like Chanel perfume until I read that all the gals in the brothels wear it. I don't know how this relates, but once a smell gets an association, it is there forever.
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