Thursday, May 10, 2007

Just When You Thought You Were in Charge

A few posts and notes that strike me as being all about much the same thing despite appearing to be unrelated.

The Field Negro posted about the Baby Daddy Drama, The Sudanese Thinker linked to the story about lunatic German judges who uphold the right of men to abuse their wives in the name of multiculturalism. Toss in Dennis Miller burbling about how his misbegotten offspring find Paris Hilton "hot" but "stupid" and an internet forum poll asking men if they would select a mate based on intelligence, personality or "sex appeal" and I'm seriously wondering if there's any hope for our species.

If you're thinking (or hoping) this is going to be a rant about those bad, evil menfolk I'm going to disappoint you. It's us too ladies. Field got a lot of it right....we've been letting the fools get away with this crap.

It took me several years and more than a handful of "lightbulb" moments to get this when I was a young wife and mother. A few of the most memorable retarded-ass things that still stick in my memory:

A female acquaintance commenting that "at least your husband babysits your children while you work". Doh, babysits????? They were also his children....would it be "babysitting" if I stayed home with them while he went to work?

Said husband telling our then pre-school aged offspring as I was heading off to work, "there goes your mother, abandoning us again". Yes I did, someone had to pay the damned bills.

Needless to say, said husband was soon after this also known as "former husband". Ok, I was young and stupid....not THAT stupid and beating my ass was never an option unless you were planning to never sleep again as long as you lived.

Which brings me to my main point about misogyny and culture. Who determines the path a culture takes? People do and frankly, while I do not in any way diminish the importance of fathers in the development of our children let's be honest about who does the bulk of the child-rearing. Political correctness and the advent of the "nurturing male" aside, women are still the primary caregivers 99.9% of the time. So there it is, if your culture is struggling to stay afloat in the toilet better take a look at your women and how you treat them.

If you tend to view women as property, mindless cattle to be owned and used as it happens to suit you I have to ask why you would expect to produce exceptional offspring with a dairy cow? American men don't be smug.....most of you would hit near anything with an oversized pair of mammary glands, two legs and an IQ just high enough to allow for eating with a knife and fork. We women don't do much better, how else to explain the inability of "nice guys" to get a date while some neanderthal in a Hummer has to beat us off with a stick?

I know it has become not socially acceptable to admit that men and women are different in many ways and to varying degrees but if you think it through most rational people would have to admit there is some truth there. Take women out of the equation and humanity would probably be living in caves and spending all its energy trying to kill each other....oh wait, that's already happening. Take men out of the equation, hm, not sure what you'd have. Probably a lot of really cute what-not shops and nail salons and the end of parallel parking.

Be honest guys, without us there would be no civilization. Washing machine manufacturers would be out of business because no one would ever change their shorts again. Shut up, you know it's true.

Bushie wanted to change the culture of Iraq but he went about it all wrong, he went after the men. If you want to change a culture you have to reach the women and killing all their men is not an ideal way to do that. You also have to offer them a better incentive than freedom to live in abject poverty and be valued according to their "hotness factor".

Middle eastern women look at us in the west and see what? Women working two and three jobs to support their children who they never see because the fathers don't support them or living on begrudgingly given state benefits because what jobs they can get would not cover the cost of childcare much less health care or silly things like rent and groceries while asshats in $500 dollar suits rant about "lazy, welfare moochers". Opportunity to take off more of their clothes and have men ogle their breasts or belittle them if their thighs are too thick. Gee, I have no idea why anyone wouldn't jump on a deal like that.

Why do you suppose the fundamentalist movement has gained so much momentum in the US? It's the women stupid. Fundie girls don't have it all good but they sure as hell do not have it all bad either. They have their men by the short hairs and they know it, the men may get some perks but they also get nailed to do their "Christian duties". The women have a vested interest in maintaining the status quo and the rest of us aren't offering them anything better. They make certain to properly indoctrinate their children to keep the safety net going. If and when we make a better offer....bye, bye fundies.

Another lightbulb moment was seeing a middle eastern woman on television gloating about her wonderful, dearly departed martyr husband and how "Sheik Osama" had sent her a big, fat wad of cash. Beautiful strategy....encourage the men to blow themselves up and you get the payoff AND the love and respect of your community, you're set for life and no annoying male to spoil it for you. The men apparently have not figured this one out yet. Hey martyr're being played.

Look fellows, throughout history you've done everything you could think of to keep us down and out of power because we scare you. You've done a pretty good job with the divide and conquer thing too, getting us to fight each other. Maybe it's time you figured out your strategy is not working and no matter how you try to do it you will always end up on the short end of the stick in the big picture and tried treating us as equal human beings. You never know, it just might work out to the benefit of all of us.


Vigilante said...

Oh come on! Wasn't it a Prussian Junker Baron von Bismarck that said,
"The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world"? Your epiphany is a century old!

Not Your Mama said...

That in itself is part of the problem. Too many of us aren't figuring this out early enough in the game, particularly women on the lower end of the socioeconomic ladder.

If your mother taught you the "party line", you pretty much have to figure this one out on your own and by the time you do, IF you do, you're probably already screwed.

pekka said...

I am so with you, Mama mia, with everything you say!

The patriarchal societies, outside the Muslim ones, seem to be, to me at least, the once that are the most warlike. The less importance there is in warring and armies, the more society in question seems to be able to grant equality between the sexes. I am sure, that this hypothesis has an huge hole but surely it has at least a grain of truth in it. Nevertheless, the macho maniacs have been doing pretty damn bad job of "leading" the world for the past 2000 years.

TomCat said...

OK, Mama, you win! Get me a beer, find the remote, and let's talk about it. ;-)

{TomCat slinks off to hide now.}

cls said...

Dennis Miller is a father?!? Oh. Gawd.

Not Your Mama said...

cls: yes, someone of our gender mated with this person.

Tomcat: don't hide. See above for why men are not 100% of the problem.

Anonymous said...


That is all.

P.S. Are any of the male readers actually reading the post?!? I know they rant when we don't write with short sentences but, gosh darn ...