Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Another Inconvenient Truth

Senator John Kerry speaking at Pasadena City College:
"You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

I was never a big Kerry fan, he just didn't seem to have any fight in him and the Grand Old Pudwhackers walked all over his face. He's winning me over now.

No, I do not think he put his foot in his mouth. As tactless as it may have sounded to some, he was telling us the truth. It's a shitty, dirty, ugly truth but one we had better face if we want any chance of not doing an endless cycle of wash, rinse, and repeat.

There are some children of the wealthy and well-connected serving in the military. A few, definitely not many and most of them in non-combat positions. The young people who are dying are not the children of people who could afford to buy them into Ivy League colleges. They also are not the people who made the top grades and got scholarships. They may be among the many who have not even had time to begin to figure out exactly what they do want to do with their lives.

The young people who are dying are the "regular kids" from "regular" families. They may not have been the class geniuses or they may have not always made the "best" choices to ensure they became "successful". They didn't think to do all the "right things", or didn't know how, to ensure they would be accepted to the "right" schools and also be able to actually pay for it if they were.

Their parents mostly live in decent neighborhoods but not places you'd be likely to find any CEO's living on the block. You'd probably find a lot of firemen, policemen, teachers, plumbers, clerical workers and any other thing you can think of but probably not anyone who belongs to the Country Club. You'd likely find a few who work at the Country Club. You'd find a lot of immigrants who came here wanting better lives for their children and who worked their asses off trying to make that happen. You'd also find a lot of people with a strong belief in "giving back" and public service.

I'm sorry for people who are too dogmatically patriotic to be able to understand this. I'm more sorry for the rest of us who have to live in a world where these people get to have so much say in our lives. The same people who get us into these situations in the first place. Muchos gracias dumbfucks.

I don't want Kerry to apologize. I will be furious if he does, he told the goddamned truth and that should never be grounds for an apology.

Another Pissed-Off Coyote

I don't know what to say. I love this young woman, she's fabulous, outspoken and not afraid to say anything she pleases in any way she pleases. She lives in Saudi Arabia. Wonder how many of us here in the west would have the big-fuzzy-brass-balls she has if we were in her shoes?

Since a lot of us seem to lack cojones altogether, all in the name of "political correctness" of course, I'm thinking not too many.

A Thought in the Kingdom of Lunacy

Monday, October 30, 2006

Enough With the Proselytizing

I had just posted a comment on another blog about one of my own experiences with a door-to-door religion salesperson and not an hour later, lo & behold, they have now invaded my telephone.

What part of "I might not want you to call me and ask me what I think will happen when Jesus returns to earth" are you not understanding?

I've steadfastly refused to let them in the gate, planted bee-attracting plants by said gate to discourage attempts to reach my door (now they leave pamphlets on the gate & run), and short of being profane (out of respect for them, I am quite proficient in the use of profanity, thank you) or pointing a gun at them, have done all I can think of to discourage them.

So, evidently some bright-monkey amongst them has looked up our telephone number. 'Course their number showed up on my caller ID. I'm seriously tempted to call them back and ask them to attend a meeting of Cranky Old People for Satan but I'm trying to behave and ranting here instead. For now.

Love to know if this is some new tactic being employed on the highly resistive or if I was just the lucky recipient of this brilliant ploy. Had I stayed on the phone longer I wonder if my message from Jesus would have been followed by an endorsement for the Republican party. 50/50 odds on that.

Must we now add proselytizers to the "Do Not Call" law? Maybe we should, then while we're at it we can claim our right to go into stores and other businesses without being pestered and our right not to have our car windshields plastered with "I Love Jesus" stickers. It's either that or I may have to start showing up on their doorsteps bright & early on Saturday mornings eager to impart my worldview and explain the progressively more horrible fates that await them if they do not do as I say. Starting with my size 9 foot in their ass.

Almost Hopeless in Nevada

A week to go until elections and I am less than hopeful, at least here on my home front.

Apparently the Secular Coalition for America is batting for my side. I appreciate the help but somehow I don't see them being able to have much of an impact here.

Nice bit in the Las Vegas Review Journal about former NV senator Lori Lipman-Brown:

From 1992 to 1994, Brown served in the Nevada Senate and became the target of threats and hate mail as an advocate for gun control, gay rights and abortion rights.

She lost her bid for re-election after her opponent, Kathy Augustine, charged Brown refused to say the Pledge of Allegiance that began each legislative day.
Brown, who was the only secular Jew in the state Senate, said she left the chamber to avoid participating in the daily prayer that referred to Christ. She filed a defamation lawsuit that was settled when Augustine and three other Republicans acknowledged that their claims were false.

Brown has acknowledged it took her a long time to recover from her defeat by Augustine, who went on to become state controller and was impeached before her death three months ago.

Don't feel too bad Lori, Augustine still took a bit over 18% of the vote at this last primary in spite of impeachment and being dead and in spite of the fact that it turns out she was probably murdered by her 2nd husband who is also now the subject of another murder investigation. Seems husband #2 (who was also husband #1's nurse) may have helped Ms. Augustine kill husband #1.

Now how on earth could you have been expected to compete with a good, solid, Christian Republican like that?

Republican candidate Jim Gibbons continues to hold the lead ahead of Democratic candidate Dina Titus despite his recent cocktail waitress fiasco and the hiding-the-undocumented-housekeeper-in-his-basement incident. Smooth move for a guy running on a tough-on-immigration platform. Apparently he will have to do something more drastic, like kidnap young Swedish boys and keep them as sex slaves to put off his voter base. I'm pretty sure his base would be ok with him doing this with young Swedish girls, it will have to be boys.

Closer to home candidate for State Assemblyman Republican Ed Goedhart continues to hold the lead over Democrat Laurayne Murray. A large part of his appeal? His tough-on-immigration stance. Interesting since he is also possibly the largest employer of undocumented workers in this region at his Ponderosa Dairy. Yes, that's the same dairy that dumped the cow feces into California's water supply a few years back and was sued (successfully) by the EPA.

Nope, I'm not feeling too hopeful. Maybe I'll throw my hat in the ring someday...after I'm dead.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Let's Cut the Crap and Slit Our Own Throats Now

Okay so I already ranted about getting over ourselves. Tough, I'm going to do it again.

I'm trolling along trying to take my mind off my old stomping grounds currently burning to the ground in CA and I run across this bit at Wonkette.

Don't get me wrong, I love Wonkette, it's funny, entertaining, and (insert your own complementary comment) but ya know I just can't beat up on Right-Wingnuts ALL the time. Truthfully, aside from the "rural =hillbilly" tone the piece isn't so bad. I think it was the comments that got me.

Obviously from the tone of most of them I can conclude that people who would:
a) own a satellite dish
b) live in a small house (or OMG I HAVE to say it, a TRAILER)
c) possibly even own a gun
d) commit the ultimate sin of being less-than-wealthy

a) be running a meth lab
b) care more about NASCAR than the budget deficit
c) be okay with a l'il pedophilia and/or incest
d) have bad teeth and spit on public sidewalks

Thanks to all my fellow democrats who feel this way and just dissed a few million voters. Thank you very fucking much. Why don't we just get a new campaign slogan, something along the lines of "Vote Blue, Red is So Last Year" or maybe "We're More Awesome Than You, Ask Us Why".

I'm not blind, yes, there are some people just like all of the above but guess what...THEY are not the rural voters who are EVER going to vote democrat. I lived in cities enough years to know they are there too, just more outnumbered.

In the meantime it would be really helpful if those of you who feel this way about the rest of us dumbass, tobacky-chawin', cheap-shoe wearin' hillbillies out here in the sticks would stuff a baguette in your lovely Botox-lipped yaps. It would be be really nice for all of us to actually win a few elections.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Letter to the President

Ran across this Open Letter to George Bush at My Road Less Travelled. You have to read it. Really. I'm serious, it is that funny.

Altruism, Elitism and the Left or A Few Simple Steps for Turning People Into Pets

I don't believe in "altruism", doing something for some perceived good with no thought of personal gain. I don't believe for one minute that Mother Theresa "sacrificed" anything to live her life as she did, she was doing exactly what she wanted to be doing. I'd bet real dinero she had more than one hearty, inner belly laugh at this kind of talk too.

We humanoid types do "good" things for a reason, those reasons vary according to our own worldview but it's never in a void. All of us get the fringe benefit of feeling good about ourselves, religious folks believe they earn spiritual brownie points, some see themselves as part of one system and believe improving that system benefits them both directly and indirectly, then there are those who embrace causes and gain status within their own social/political circle. Most of us operate from some mix of all of the above, I'm sure there are more but for the purpose of simplicity I'll leave it there. I mainly want to talk about number three right now.

The social/political peer group thing, where we see ourselves in the food chain. Here's a newsflash: the foodchain determines our real-world power, it has nothing whatsoever to do with our inherent value or lack of same. If you are operating under some assumption that it does that would make you: an assmonkey.

I hear the protests from the Left, no, not us, we believe in everyones equal worth. I'm your ideological sibling for the most part so I have a pretty good idea about this and I'm going to stick a pin in your bubble, no you don't. You don't believe it any more than you believe your Golden Retriever's life has as much or possibly more value than your own. A few of "us" might get this, most of "us" don't.

If you're still reading I'm going to assume you either get it or are in the group that might be able to.

There is a lot of hate directed at Lefties. Some of it really is from "powerbrokers" seeing a threat to their stranglehold on the food chain. Some of it is from people who you would think stood to gain much more from joining our party. Did you ever stop to think that it might be a simple case of not wanting to exchange kowtowing to one set of elitists only to become the pets or science projects of another? Clinton understood that, Obama gets that, Gore may or may not get it but sure as hell did not convey it, Kerry fer sure did not get it.

Hyphenated-American people are not inherently different from any other human, they sure as hell are not stupid and are better at spotting people who don't get it, they've had more practice. People who work in factories, car washes, and your local fucking Wal-Mart are not inherently different from you and they fer sure get it when you try to use their "plight" for your own freaking ends. 'Po folk are not your pets.

This is for all the skinny, white, college-educated, non-smoking, salad-eating, dolphin-saving cultural elitists: shut the fuck up. You aren't superior and you aren't special. Not any more special than the fat lady shopping at Wal-Mart or the sweaty, dirty guy chain-smoking on the park bench. Get over yourselves.

Quit trying to save everyone from themselves and when you help some group of people in whatever cause, try seeing them as your peer group instead of as socially
deprived lab rats. The results might surprise you.

Oh yeah, the next time you are hangin' with your homies and someone starts capping on smokers, Wal-Mart shoppers, 'ho's with too many kids, people with bad teeth, fat chicks, or whatever the hell your crew thinks is funny, please bitch-slap them and tell them that was from me. Later haters.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Mormons, Mormons, Everywhere a Mormon

Washingtonians for Mitt Romney asks the question

Why are the journalists so insistent to cover the issue of "mormon faith" if it belongs to a Republican politician , but completely indifferent when it belongs to a Democratic one?

Maybe some of them are biased. Maybe they just don't like Mitt Romney. Or maybe it's because the democratic party doesn't normally drag religion into politics. Ya think?

The republican party has made a concious and deliberate choice to insert religion into the very heart of it's platform. You made the rules so kindly have a sit and a nice cup of STFU when it jumps up and bites you on the ass.

You made the decision to wear religion on your sleeves like some sort of badge of honour. Some of you have been more than happy to bash at what you call the "anti-Christian" left, gleefully swinging your hammer in the name of Jesus. More than sure of your stance when you let us know that to be a "true Christian" one must naturally vote republican.

We know that Harry Reid is a Mormon. We don't care. We care that he has kept his religion out of our politics. We care a whole helluva lot that he has been the strongest force in stopping your current Christian administration from shoving the Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste Repository up our collective asses here in Nevada. We care about that a lot. Don't dump your garbage in our yard assmonkeys, is that clear enough for you?

The media is in business of reporting what will grab their audiences attention. Reporting that Reid is a Mormon is not going to interest the democrats. It also is not worth telling the republicans because you weren't going to vote for him anyway.

Since at least some of your constituent base votes primarily on religious grounds, reporting that Romney is a Mormon may very well affect votes which makes it NEWSWORTHY.

You courted them now freaking deal with it.

The Coyote and the Rock

Once Coyote and Fox went walking together. They came to a big, smooth rock. Coyote spread his blanket over it and together they sat down on the rock and smoked their pipes.

When they stood up to go, Coyote looked down at the rock and said, "What a nice rock this is! I think I'll give it my blanket. My blanket will keep this good rock warm and dry."

Then Coyote walked off with Fox, leaving his blanket behind covering the rock. They walked on down the hillside toward the river. But they hadn't gone far when dark clouds gathered above and a cold rain began to fall.

Coyote hugged himself and shivered. "Brrrrr! Now I wish I still had my blanket." And he told Fox, "Run back and tell Rock I want to borrow my blanket for a while."

Fox ran off up the hill, but he returned without the blanket. "Rock wouldn't let me have it," he told Coyote. "He says it's his and he wants to use it."

That made Coyote angry. "That selfish rock!" he muttered. And he ran back up the hill and jerked the blanket off Rock.

"Rock," Coyote growled, "you've been lying there in the sun and rain for a thousand summers and winters. It wouldn't hurt you to get a few more raindrops on you. I only wanted to borrow my blanket for a short time to keep dry. Now I'm taking my blanket back. You can lie here uncovered for the rest of time!"

Coyote threw his blanket around himself and Fox and they continued their walk down the hill.

Soon the sun came back out and Coyote and Fox sat down again to talk. But just when they sat down, they heard a strange noise above them -- a-thump-thump-thump-thump-a-thump-thump-thump-thump.

"Fox," Coyote said, "run up the hill and see what is making that noise."

Fox disappeared over the crest of the hill, but he soon reappeared, running as fast as he could, with his tail stretched out behind him. "Coyote!" Fox barked, "Run for your life! The rock is after us!"

Fox dived into a badger hole, but his tail didn't quite make it out of the way. Rock rolled over the tip of Fox's tail and to this day it has been white.

Coyote turned and dashed toward the river. He leaped into the water and swam to the other side. Coyote shook himself and sat down on the bank to rest. He knew the rock would sink if it tried to cross the river after him.

Imagine Coyote's surprise when he saw the rock roll into the river and began to swim across a-blub-blub-blub-blub -a-blub-blub-blub-blub.

Coyote ran into a thick forest. Surely the trees would stop Rock. He reached the center of the forest and paused to catch his breath. Coyote heard a terrible crashing and thundering as Rock toppled the trees and knocked them to splinters. And on it came a-thump-thump-thump-thump -a-thump-thump-thump-thump.

Coyote ran toward the prairie at the far side of the forest. When he reached the edge of the trees, he met Bear.

"Bear!" Coyote panted. "Please help me. A rock is after me!"

Bear roared, "Waaaahhh! I'll swat that rock with my paw!"

Bear sat down to wait, and when Rock came past, he swung his paw. "Aaaooouuuuu!" Bear rocked back clutching his broken paw against his chest.

The rock rolled on -a-thump-thump-thump-thump-a-thump-thump-thump-thump.

Coyote ran across the prairie, and he saw Buffalo grazing on some green grass. "Buffalo!" Coyote begged. "Please help me. A rock is after me."

Buffalo snorted, "I'll butt that rock with my head!" And Buffalo lowered his head and charged at the rock. They met -- Boom! Buffalo flew through the air. His horns were broken and his head split wide open.
And the rock rolled on - a-thump-thump-thump-thump- a-thump-thump-thump-thump.

Coyote ran and ran. Now the rock was right at his heels -thump-thump-thump. He saw a lodge ahead of him, and standing near it were two old women with stone hatchets in their hands. The women called to him, "Run between us, Coyote. Run between us!"

Coyote did. And then the rock passed between the old women, they lowered their hatchets -- crack! The rock shattered into a thousand pieces.

Coyote lay on the ground with his heart pounding, panting for his breath. The old women walked to the other side of the lodge and whispered to each other. But Coyote could hear what they were saying.

"How nice and fat Coyote is," the old women whispered. "He'll make a fine meal for us."

Then Coyote knew the old women were witches. He'd better plan his escape. He saw some jugs of water beside the lodge and he crept over and dumped the water out.

When the old women returned, Coyote said, "I'm thirsty from that long run. Could I have a drink of water?"

They said, "Certainly. Drink from one of those jugs over there."

Coyote walked over to the jugs. "These are all empty," he told them. "But that's all right. I'll take one down to the river and fill it."

Coyote picked up a jug and walked off. As soon as he was sure the women couldn't see him, he threw the jug to the ground and ran off laughing to himself.

When coyote didn't come back, the witches realized that he had tricked them. They began to argue, each one accusing the other of letting Coyote escape.

Finally they grew so angry they picked up their stone hatchets and hit one another over the head. And that was the end of those witches. And it's the end of the story too.

But not the end of Coyote. He had many more adventures.

Joe Hayes
Coyote & Native American Folk Tales
Maripose Publishing, 1983.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Much Ado About...the Truth

My countrymen never cease to amaze me. The dust-up of the day which looks like it may well become a bigger controversy than whatever new thing Madonna has just done is....CNN airing a video of a sniper attack.

How dare they report the news, unwashed and unvarnished. Oh wait, they did black out the actual moment a soldier was shot.

I've heard all the arguments all day, ad infinitum. From the at least understandable: "If that were my child I would not want that shown" to the at least marginally stupid, "what if my children had been watching" to the completely idiotic: "CNN should be tried for treason".

Here is my response.

To those who feel CNN should be tried for treason: obviously you belong to the 30% people I have mentioned in a previous post. The 30% who are incapable of rational thought so you are hopeless, now piss off and die.

To the "for the children" people: Please, if you allow your young children to watch CNN unsupervised, did you really think they were going to run and tell you when a "viewer discretion" warning was broadcast or do you just have a cheeseball in place of your head?

To the people who stated they would be outraged if it were their child: I have empathy for you but let me explain something.

I am the mother of two children in military service. Both have served overseas, one is still deployed. What outrages me is the number of flag-waving assmaggots who shout their patriotism from the rooftops but squeal like pigs when confronted with truth or reality. I would be outraged if it were my child and the truth were hidden under a rug for the sake of not spoiling some redneck's dinner.

To the rest of America: If we don't like this reality, if it offends us and is too horrible for us to bear seeing then maybe it is time we stopped making flip decisions to put ourselves in these situations in the first place.

Certainly it is far past time we started taking some responsibility for the things we do and took a good look at the very real costs of our actions. Frankly, I do not give a shit if it spoils your digestion.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Stupid Right-Wing Trick of the Day

Oooo scary stuff there buttmonkeys. Hope you didn't spend too much of your constituents' campaign donations on it though because you see...the only people who are going to buy into this hyperbolic ration of camel-dung are the same freaking dumbfucks who were going to vote for you anyway.

The rest of us have spent the last 6 years watching Osama & Co. lead you around in an endless game of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego like the little sissy-men you are.

But, but, but...we toppled Saddam you say. Yes, you did. Considering his setup a few thousand of my well-armed fellow Nevadans could have done that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not at all unhappy Saddam took a fall. I always love it when psychotic freaks of nature get their karmic comeuppance. What was the point though??? We took out one very bad man and unleashed....thousands. Somehow I don't feel any safer.

Terrorists are real and for all the right-wing fugtards who are laboring under the misconception that moderates and liberals don't get it....WE KNOW THEY WANT TO KILL US. We have guns too dipshits. We are just smart enough not to invade the wrong fucking country trying to hunt them down.

The trouble with y'all is you are the densest motherfuckers to have ever walked this earth. Most of us kept trying to deal with you using reason, being polite, trying to play like civilized people in a civilized society. We underestimated the depths of your stupidity and inability to reason. Our bad. Different gameplan homeboys, we're pissed and you are about to find out how it feels to get your asses nailed to the floor by the other side. Enjoy.

Proliferation of Non-Intelligent Life

Ever have one of those days when you feel overwhelmed by the news? Even C-Span starts looking more like a really bad SNL spoof and you are try to figure out just exactly when did the inmates start running the asylum?

I have those days quite often, quite a number of people with functioning brain cells have them. At last count roughly 70% of Americans are scratching their heads and asking how did this happen?

I have another piece of their answer:

Obama is a cool, smooth deceiver, the ultimate salesman, able to say inconsistent, or even false, things and yet convince many listeners that his is absolutely sincere. He represents the triumph of image over ideas. As such, he is the perfect democrat politician, with an ability to twist and distort the truth unseen since Bill Clinton. He is the walking embodiment of the most important arrow in the liberal quiver, the one without which they’d be lucky to break double digits in any election, stealth.

From Webloggin- a community of blogging excrement

There is our other 30%. Capable of spewing unlimited quantities of verbal diarrhea with little or no basis in fact. These artards would not recognize a truth if it sat on their face and whistled Dixie. Do you hear me you camel-dork-sucking-ingestors-of-pig-excrement, yes you, I'm talking to YOU shit-spouting, deceiving purveyors of the poisonous pea-soup that oozes out of your little itty-bitty pea-brains. Some of us have your number, more of us are catching on. Where are you going to hide when America WAKES THE FACK UP????

Things not going their way? No problem, they'll just launch a character attack on one of the other sides' finest. The fact that they have no "facts", no "evidence", in point of fact....NO FUCKING BASIS IN FUCKING REALITY...does not deter them. Why should it, after all America has been buying every sales job these asshats have handed them for at least 6 freaking years.

So anyway my fellow Americans, next time you wonder WTF has happened to our country, why the evening news seems more like Cartoon Network, why almost every arena of our daily lives has diminshed in quality and there seems to be zero accountability for this mess we find ourselves in....look to the 30% people. They are your terrorist hijackers. They hijacked a great nation but they didn't do it alone.

Let's wake up and stop feeding them. Let's fight for an Assmonkey-free America.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Lou Dobbs- the case for a dumber America

I just had to. I must like being tortured. Flip to CNN and there he is...America's poster boy for mediocrity.

It wasn't enough to hammer us to death with an imaginary "war on the middle class". Nooooooo. A daily stirring of the hate-pot towards every real or imagined "illegal immigrant" (hey Stimpy, after we take over the world let's drag that Mexican lady and her son out of that church in Chicago and EAT THEM) would not suffice. Some of Mediocreville, America was starting to get suspicious...hey, this Dobbs guy seems kinda racist.

Now mediocre he may be but Lou ain't no re-tard. He knew he could not very well run off to (insert name of random small African country) and adopt himself a cute l'il impoverished orphan. It just wouldn't play in Peoria (besides encouraging Exporting Adoption through Outsourcing). No could do. In a stroke of pure, unadulterated, mediocre-American brilliance he jes' up and adopts hisself a whole doggone African-American family. Yeehaw.

I give him a 9 on the barf-o-meter.