If I Had A Magic Wand I'd Shove It Right Up Your Smug Ass

Yup, that's right, Clinton's picture is gone. I've had more than enough sarcastic, condescending, mocking people try to bring me down during the course of my life, I sure as hell do not need another. I did not accept it from Bush, Cheney and all their asshat crowd and I'm not about to break out the shit-eating spoon for any other person who would have me vote for them to lead my party and my country.

Luckily I will not have to struggle with whether or not to vote for you come November because despite whatever may or may not pop up from your followers in the blogosphere as far as the majority of voters are concerned, you committed political suicide today. I don't need a poll to tell me that. Maybe you should reconsider a career with the GOP, insulting voters and trying to humiliate them into following them is more their line.

Newflash for you Ms. Clinton: you don't know me and you sure as hell do not know what I have had to overcome in my life and I definitely did not have a magic wand either. I don't kid myself about anything being "easy" or "perfect" but there is a key difference between the two of us, in spite of my cynicism and in spite of the multitude of mocking assmonkeys like you I've had to step over on my way, I've never given up and I've never wasted my time whining about what could not be done but focused on what could. If that makes me a fool then I'm a fool but oddly enough it's worked quite well for me.

Go ahead and keep insulting us, smirk some more and make your cute little sarcastic sound bites and let us know how that works out for you. Maybe you can land a co-host spot with Bill O'Reilly.

White People Can't Hear?

I've previously expressed my own feelings of alienation from "my own kind" or anyway whatever that is based on how I look, my age, my gender, my income bracket, blah, blah, blah and last night only confirmed it. Rather todays reading through of the blogs has confirmed it.

Apparently just about every white blogger in the country only had their white-o-centric ears on when they listened to last nights debate. I had my Latino-mom-ears on and I heard Obama loud and clear and he spoke to me and to my children and to my sisters' children. He offered us all a seat at the table, not tablescraps. No, I am not a Latina, I just borrow the ears sometimes, same as I had my Black-mom-eyes on when I looked at Sen. Obama's little girls on the stage in Iowa surrounded by crowds of cheering white people. Both times I saw and heard the future and it was good.

I don't know how to explain this to you my white brethren and some will never get it and we'll just have to wait on them to die off but for those who would call themselves "progressive" let me explain something to you: there is a world of difference between "sympathy" and "empathy". I've never wasted much time feeling "sorry" for anyone, if you want to even begin to try and understand someone try on their shoes.

You Have Attained the Rank Of Harpy Slayer

Here is my deep, dark confession....my part-time addiction to creating alter egos on my favorite MMORPG where I currently exist as a black, half-elf Templar with a faithful pet duck. For those of you who believe only children and ultra-geeks engage in this sort of activity, my current main playing partner is a 50 something Italian engineer who plays from his office in Rome. Granted we may both be ultra-geeks but children we are definitely not.

The sad thing is that while busily slaying orcs, bugbears and harpies in our little fictional universe we actually manage to have more interesting conversations than I've been able to find for the most part in the blog world. Somehow I can't feature my game friend going on a rant about Bill Clinton's wagging a finger at someone idiotic enough to attend a rally just to heckle the speaker or engaging in the ultra-paranoid anti-Obama rants I've seen on some blogs of late.

Even stranger we differ on which US candidate we support but manage to discuss politics without raising insane arguments. Truth is if I were stupid enough to raise many of the arguments I've seen written on blogs and flogged to death in the media he would assume I'd lost my mind and he'd be correct.

At least two of my favorite bloggers, Mixter and Vigilante have expressed similar feelings of disenchantment with the current, I hesitate to call it "dialogue" but whatever it is. Hang in there both of you, please. Take a break if you must but don't throw in the towel because we've had decades of lunatics running this asylum and it's time saner voices took over.

I don't live in the blog world full time like some nor do I live in my fictional game world full time, most of my time is actually spent in the very ordinary real world and I prefer to keep it that way though both of the others are wonderful alternatives at times and I have no plans to quit any. The thing is that despite my ever present pessimism about the human race in general I've seen enough evidence of at least a sizeable minority of people capable of using logic and reason to make it worthwhile to keep trying.

The alternative would be to just give up and disappear into some fantasy universe full time and that I am not prepared to do.

For Some Of Us Character Matters

Several people commented on the previous post that much as they would hate to do it they would vote for Hillary Clinton in the general election if she wins the nomination. I have to agree with them, they are right...we can't afford a McCain presidency so I know that I would have to find a way to make myself do it but on a really personal level this would be one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do.

I have the same problem with Clinton as I had with Edwards: she voted to kill my children in George's war.

At first I was willing to cut her some slack on the issue, I had to put myself in her shoes and really look at how I might have looked at it if I had been in her position. Now assuming I was ever gullible enough to believe Iraq presented a clear and present danger to the US or even assuming I could at least be willing to entertain the thought that I might be mistaken, the consequences of being wrong on that would not be something I'd be willing to live with. The possibility of putting thousands of lives at risk by making a wrong decision or, unthinkable as it would be for me, to score a political jab at Herr Bush would make it at least understandable why some may have voted to give him the green light on the invasion. Faced with even a slight possibility of this scenario I can understand why some would have erred on the side of what they may have seen as caution.

The problem is that since then it came to light that Sen. Clinton never even read the intelligence reports.

Still wearing Clinton's shoes there is no possible explanation for that other than it was never about erring on the side of caution or fear of risking more innocent lives. It was about political expediency and keeping the vote amongst what was at that time perceived as the "center". There is just no other way to spin it and believe me I've turned this one inside out and looked at it from every conceivable angle and there is simply no way that if ones' concern truly was the safety and security of the American people that anyone would have simply voted without taking advantage of all available information and intelligence. There is just no way I would have done that and hopefully neither would any of the readers here.

I know that's "old" news and supposedly the American voter has a 15 minute attention span. Maybe that's true but not always and not all of us. I don't care what pop psychology says about forgiveness, some things are not forgiveable and more importantly speak to the true character and motivations of a person. There is no way anyone can spin this for me, it is impossible to make a decision affecting the lives of millions without even looking at all the information then try to convince me it was because you believed it was to protect those very people.

I'm a woman and I am a mother and I know better.

So how am I going to make myself vote for Clinton if it comes to that? Only one way I can, McCain has made it clear he will not even attempt to put an end to this. As long as ending our occupation of Iraq remains popular with the general public, Clinton likely will. Don't bank on that though, John Q. Public can change with the wind and we'll have elected a leader who likes to run the way the wind is blowing. If it comes down to it I'll have to settle for that on the chance that I might help save someone else's child or husband or spouse so on that note I'll give her my vote then whatever happens, happens.

Unfortunately it would be just one more time I had no real voice in this country, me and a few million other people for that reason and a dozen others. Yes, that's just one of them, I could write a 2000 page book on some of the other reasons but most people still would not get it and I'm pretty much tired of trying to reason with people that just want to turn this into a high school football team rivalry.

This is about real lives and real people and I have to try and choose the candidate I believe most takes that seriously. At the most basic level it's all about trust and given a choice I always opt for the people who have not betrayed my trust. Sadly I'm usually left with a choice between two people who've betrayed that trust and trying to decide which will continue to do so less than the other.

So you were wondering why so few people vote?

Yes I Am In A Really Bad Mood

I don't even know where to start to explain where I'm at with this mess we're in. First off there really hasn't been much to say about the latest primaries and caucuses because, doh, like it or not the outcomes have been for the most part quite well known to everyone not living in Oz beforehand.

That kind of led me to my second conclusion which was that sometimes it's better to just shut the fuck up than engage in the sort of shrieking, shrilling, and whining I've been seeing on at least half the blogs (and I'm being generous here) and most definitely in many of the comments including here on my own at times.

Oooooh the media is mean to me and hates women/black people/brown people/liberals/conservatives/really cute puppies. Yeah well, the media doesn't love or hate anyone, they love ratings and as long as there are assmonkeys willing to park in front of the tube and listen to idiotic dribble and wage wars over trivia they'll keep right on keeping on. Ok, I'll admit I do love to watch Pat Buchanan but that is only because I enjoy the way the veins pop out of the side of his head and he starts to turn purple, it relaxes me.

I've made it pretty clear that I am not voting for Clinton, no secret there. If you are or aren't and wish to make an argument for or against that's fine but make it at least semi-rational. I do not give a damn about her ankles or her pantsuit. Above all please refrain from demanding I feel oppressed because I happen to possess a vagina. I've never been oppressed in my life for longer than 5 minutes because I've never tolerated it and this is still America, so far anyway. Every other man in the country is not a foaming-at-the-mouth misogynist, quite a lot of them are clueless. Give them a clue and save the baseball bats for the truly deserving. When you do actually run across a true misogynist I'd suggest breaking his kneecaps but it would be a good idea to learn to recognize the difference.

I've also made it clear that I did and will again, vote for Obama. Again, if you wish to make a point for or against that's also fine but keep it sane. I do not care whether or not he did or did not use drugs/attend a Muslim kindergarten/is or is not "Black enough". As for the heavy doses of sarcasm I've read regarding the man's powerful oratorical skill and overwhelming charisma...bitch please....those have come in handy in winning over some of those 2,999,999 other people I have to share the country with and I'll be the first to admit that but has little to nothing to do with my reasons for supporting him. Remember you're talking to someone who favored Bill Richardson, charisma is not a deal maker or breaker for me. I tend to look at stupid ass trivia like THEIR FUCKING VOTING RECORDS.

Do not even try the "Clinton has more experience" argument with me. Sen. Clinton never held public office until the year 2000 so where this "35 years of experience" tag line is coming from is beyond me. If sleeping with or being married to someone confers some sort of educational and experiential bonus then I'm a fucking diesel engine technician and a jet pilot. If "experience" is truly your criteria then just vote for John McCain and bugger off.

Speaking of voting records, outside of Joe Lieberman I cannot think of a single dem who has voted more in lockstep with the GOP than John Edwards so why on earth half the "progressive" universe seems to believe he is their saviour is beyond me. From nuclear waste to Iraq to the current majorly fucked up bankruptcy laws Sen. Edwards has a long and established history of caving to GOP pressure. Granted, he does a fine mea culpa after the fact but how many times do you want a mea culpa after the fact??? He may have the best of intentions, not going to try and second guess the mans motives but he's pretty much proven he does not have the best judgement in the world, at least not for a self-professed "progressive". I'd not even mention him here except that many of his followers seem to remain in denial that he is out of the race.

Finally there are the ultra snarky, I'm-too-cool-and-embittered-to-get involved people. Everyone is bad, all the choices suck, nothing will change no matter what we do, yada, yada, yada. Fine, to borrow a phrase from the Galloping Beaver, sit on the fucking corner and wish for ponies. Make sure to save a seat next to you for the Perpetual Victim crowd m'kay?

Things I Know That Are Not Worth Wasting My Time Arguing About

1. This election is not "all about Obama". He's tapped into something that was already waiting to happen. Right person, right place, right time. Sometimes shit happens that way.
2. He could lose/Clinton could win, all things are still possible.
3. An Obama loss would set off an even larger tidal wave than the one currently in motion, some things I just know in my bones. My bones have never lied to me.
4. I would not want to be on the wrong end of that wave.
5. There is a certain historical inevitability to whatever course it is we are currently on, this too I know in my bones. What I do not know is how it will play out and how many heads will roll in the process but there is no realistic way to deny that there is a process in motion. Unless you are wishing for a pony.
6. It is entirely possible that Pat Buchanan's head will explode by the time this is all settled, whichever way it settles. I can only see this as a good thing.
7. Last but not least I am struggling to make sense of the fact that I belong to a party that believes I am so utterly retarded that they must appoint a 21 year old Alvin the Chipmunk look-alike to vote for me. I am too old to need a nanny and after this election I may decide I'm too old to be bothered with this party any more. Jury is still out on that one. If you are Republican don't get all excited, I still would eat nails before voting for a single one of your regressive, retarded, assmonkeys. It simply means that I may no longer register as a Democrat or give another penny to the DNC. Individual candidates may still apply.

Now that I've pissed off everyone and their mother too, have a nice day. Vote for whoever you want to vote for but at least make a choice and stand for something. Try to do it like grown ups. If we want leaders that don't behave like assclowns we need to stop behaving like assclowns.

I've Moved to Canada, For Today Anyway

Today's post is being guest hosted at Buckdog along with another fine Super Tuesday post from Pissed on Politics. All 3 of ya'll that enjoy my rambling & ranting head over there and the rest of you head there anyway and check out Buckdog for a dose of north of the border politics.

Just a Few Weird Random Thoughts

I don't know if this has not occurred to anyone or if it's simply too politically incorrect to speculate upon but....has it not crossed anybody elses mind that Bill Clinton may not really want his wife to win? I mean c'mon people, Bill is many things but clueless about how some of his recent remarks would play out would not be on the list. Bill Clinton of all people knew exactly what kind of reaction his words would get so I have to at least entertain the possibility that his motives may have been other than what they might appear at first glance.

I've heard the "he's outta control" explanation from every talking head on the planet but it just doesn't stand up to closer scrutiny. We've all seen Bill "outta control" before and even then he is not that stupid. Unless someone can convince me he's taken up smoking a crack pipe I'm going to have to go with my gut here and assume his motive was "other".

Next weird random thought: um, helloooooo....Ted Kennedy may have been the story in Washington but across much of main street America Caroline is the story. Little insider tip to my party leaders: huge numbers of lifelong Democratic voters, particularly in the west, do not even like Ted Kennedy. Never have. We put up with him because he's still better than a Republican but we do not now nor have we ever liked him. We love Caroline. That said, I give him props for a great speech that managed to inspire me in spite of it coming out of Teddy's mouth. Bonus points for not making me barf. Now send Caroline on the campaign trail and see what happens.

Speaking of a Kennedy-esque moment, it crossed my mind that I would hate to be the grandparent who had to admit in retrospect that I did not vote for him but supported that other guy. Talk about losing face as the wizened elder, you want your grandkids to have to use the old "well, you know gran was from a different time" excuse? I'll take a pass on that, thanks.

I Hate Pissing Up Ropes

I've been reading through the blogs and honestly people, it's getting beyond shrill and I'm really not in the frame of mind to go there.

Look, my first choice was Bill Richardson but when it became obvious that he was not going to get enough support to become viable, I, living in realityville as I tend to do, looked to the rest of the field for a new choice. Does not mean I don't still like Richardson, it means I accept the reality that I cannot have it all my way, at least not all of the time. I have 299,999,999 other people I have to make nice with whether I like it or not. Happily Gov. Richardson is a grown up too and gracefully exited with dignity intact before becoming a spoiler.

That said, for a multitude of reasons I chose to support Barack Obama, not least of which being I firmly believe he is the only candidate remaining who can win the general election and that my friends is of dire importance to me. I have no intention of going on either a Clinton or Edwards bashing campaign because, doh, here I go inserting reality again, Edwards is not going to win the nomination, not going to happen and Clinton, well, she might win the nomination but looking at the extremely overheated division over her within our own party, on both sides, does anyone truly believe this would not be a major problem in the general election?

Does not make a damn what *I* think or do not think about them, what will matter is what that other 299,999,999 people think and it ain't looking so good out there for either of them. Consider the remote possibility that I just might be less out of touch with *mainstream america* than our hopelessly befuddled media. Just maybe.

Or, ignore the bottom line, insist this is Burger King, and say hello to President McCain. Your call.

I Know It ain't Over But........

YEEHAW!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I said I had high hopes for South Carolina but the results exceeded my expectations. I was looking for about an 8-10 point spread not...um.....28 points!

I will now resume my regularly scheduled holding-my-breath till February 5th session.

It's ALWAYS Been the Economy Stupid, and We Still Don't Get It

I'm going to confess that as someone who regularly plays the market I have been largely uninvolved and ignoring the nosedive. See the thing is, a blind pig should have seen this one coming, oh, about 2 years ago. Aside from this being what I call a golden stock shopping opportunity I'm not really all that interested. Not sure what part of "you can't keep spending money you do not have" or continue expanding the number of people living in absolute poverty without eventually destroying your economy most people still aren't getting but there it is in a nutshell.

As usual our fearless leaders are getting the solution all wrong too. Color me not surprised. Tax bennies for corporations and rebates for everyone who already has money and goddamn well ought to learn to budget...gee that's gonna help. NOT.

For anyone still in doubt let me 'splain it for you in really, really simple terms. You aren't going to like it but this is what has to happen: real income has to rise at the bottom end. That's right Joe Monkey autoworker, it ain't about you....it's about the gazillion or so people cleaning motel rooms, serving you at the drive through window and picking your goddamn lettuce. It's basic math: we have too many people with no discretionary income and when that happens who in the hell do you imagine we are going to sell all our goods and services too? Even Donald Trump can only eat so many Whoppers.

Now we could just blame "corporate greed" and rant and rail at big business, it might feel good but it's only a piece of the story. The real story is the other few million of us in the great middle class who want it all, want it now, and want it on the cheap. "We" were ok with ignoring the fact that a whole lot of people had to be working a lot of hours for less money than it cost to live decently in order to provide the rest of us with all these goodies and as usual we are continuing to ignore this fact.

That right there had a lot to do with my bottom line when I went with Obama because he is the only candidate who gets this. Clinton and Edwards may get it but they are not going to act on it, no way Jose, they will continue to pander to the middle income folks who got us into this mess in the first place. Sadly those are the people who are more likely to vote....just look at our last 8 years if you have any more questions about that. Oh, and by the way Michigan voters: Mitt Romney is going to bring back our auto industry about the same time I learn to pull live rabbits out of my ass. You can't bring back an industry that has no market and poor people don't buy new cars every other year.

In the meantime all is right in my world, I did not lose my ass in the market because back when we had halfway decent schools I learned basic math, the Daily Show is back on the air and there is this young guy called Woozie who gives me hope that the kids coming up now may not turn out to be the same waste of airspace my generation has turned out to be.

Most of all I am still floating on the thing we aren't supposed to talk about but I'm gonna anyway: Senator Obama's young daughters standing up on that podium after the win in Iowa changed the world for an entire generation of young people in this country. Most of us older geezers don't really get that, neither black nor white but the kids get it and that's all that matters.

My Nevada Caucus

I can only speak for my precinct but here's how it went:

Not one Black voter voted for Clinton.

Not one Clinton voter was under 110. Ok, ok, maybe 50 but it seriously was the geriatric section. More than half were on walkers and/or oxygen.

The Clinton people were for the most part obnoxious asshats and kept sending people to the wrong areas so dear one took it upon himself to begin redirecting Obama voters to the right areas.

Edwards got less than 10 people out of the several hundred who showed up, all of those were members of our local shotgun-toting, conspiracy theory contingent. No one was willing to risk speaking to them, they finally left.

A Hillary voter lost her cool and cursed everyone out. Most entertaining 10 minutes of the entire caucus. Her one tooth only added to the fun.

The fire department showed up and threatened to shut down the caucus. Half of us ended up doing the caucus in the parking lot. The local fire truck may have a flat tire now.

No shots were fired and we managed to just barely miss having a brawl which is pretty good for Nevada I guess. I'd have kind of enjoyed a brawl though.

Disappointing turn out for Obama but then much of my precinct is 110 years old so hoping for better results out of Las Vegas.

And yeah, we voted for Obama, didja think it could be otherwise????

Brief Update

Ok, ok, been gone quite awhile I know. Mainly I just could not think of a thing I cared enough to say two words about, too many of my own things were going on to care if the rest of the world imploded or not.

The main thing was nearly losing my newest grandbaby who was born needing immediate surgery and spent her first month in the ICU....luckily for us in one of the best hospitals in the country which definitely brings home the point that we have to make certain everyone has access to this level of care. I can't even begin to imagine how differently things might have turned out for a family that did not have good insurance.

Anyhow, all is well now, mother and baby now home and doing just fine and in spite of Pakistan blowing up, Bush still being in office, the Religious Wrong still sucking rotten eggs and our economy looking like a one-legged, blind dog the only thing I can find it in my heart to say today is......HALLEJFUCKINGLIUIAH.....Obama won Iowa. THAT my friends hits me on so many levels I can't even begin to explain but if you happen to be one of the people who is right there with me you already get it.

So for today anyway....peace on earth and goodwill towards every single Iowan who did this miraculous thing. I'm still ganked at humans, I didn't suddenly start believing in god and no, I don't think that all is going to be well now but for this one moment I do have hope and that's more than I've had for nearly a decade.

Stuff to Do When Feeling Down

Some women go shopping or get their hair done. I'd be more depressed if I spent money then realized I had bought nothing of lasting value and I could give a flip about my hair so I go virtual house shopping.

Here are a few of todays top picks:

Larger than I really want and I need a yard but it's not shabby.

Don't want the house but I need that central courtyard.

I don't need it, probably could not afford it but I'm being unreasonable today so I want it.

And the winner is......

Good News/Bad News

Gold is trading around $825 and silver around $15.50. Good news if you own some, bad news if the only bling you own is the crap you wear.

USD is now worth $.91 Canadian. Good news if you're Canadian, bad news if you just wanted to be. Caveat: if planning to beg from Canadians it's now good form to ask "Mister, can you spare 90 cents".

Fewer deaths in Iraq. Good news because, well, people not dying is a good thing. Bad news for anyone wanting us out of Iraq....most Americans don't care as long as we're "winning".

Mexico awash in silver & gold. Good news: fewer Mexican immigrants for us to fight over in the near future. Bad news: fewer Mexican immigrants for us to fight over in the near future.

Hollywood writers on strike. Good news: many series will not be returning from this break. Bad news: no Daily Show...turn off your TV and read the Scotsman.

Nevada will probably remain a Red State. Good news: we don't really matter. Bad news: I still live here.

Pictures Worth a Thousand Words

While I was pushing buttons and listening to the ever-retarded Fox business-for-the-gullible folks deny there was any problem whatsoever with our economy, that it is in fact "the best it has ever been", I thought I'd take a few screenshots for you. Straight off of the currency exchange.

Any more questions?

Questions & Comments

Just some highlights for the week.

1. Hollywood screenwriters going on strike: Looking at what programming is on the major networks.....I can only view this as a good thing. Call it a garbage reduction program.

2. Speaking of terrible TV programming, the Emperor of White Trash is no more. Dog the Bounty Hunter chokes to death on his own stupidity. My only question is: why was this show ever on in the first place? More to the point, why was it on a network called "Arts & Entertainment"? Maybe it meant "Arts & Entertainment for the Incredibly Socially Retarded". Rumours of grievous mourning in Alabama.

3. Fredericka Whitfield is still a moron. Discussing the flooding in Tabasco, Mexico, "how are emergency response teams able to get into the area....if they have such a thing....." Yes Fredericka, they have such a thing "down there". They've even discovered things like electricity and motorized vehicles. Huaraches are optional.

4. West Virginia: where to go if you're a socially regressive, illiterate asshat. Let's build a fence around it.

5. Food prices increase at unprecedented rates and are expected to increase even more dramatically over the foreseeable future. Meanwhile U.S. farmers are fleeing to Mexico and Oklahoma attempts to deport all available laborers. Don't bother to call me when ya'll get hungry....I'll be sippin' margaritas on my rooftop patio in the altiplano by then.

6. Everybody Hates Hillary. This one rates a huge Whatever award from me. Arguments range between "she's a socialist who'll bankrupt our country" to "she's in bed with corporate America". One or t'other kids, can't be both. On point #1...considering she's made a great deal of money trading commodities I don't think so. On point #2...and the others candidates are not? This one is difficult for me to swallow, 'specially when it comes from people wearing Gap outfits, Bausch & Lomb lenses, Wolverine shoes, and carrying an Apple IPod in their pocket. I still prefer Obama overall but puhleeze, let's get real here.

7. Traders have feelings too, who knew? Todd Harrison nails my sense of overwhelming sadness as I reap profit in the wake of the destruction of my country. Those who saw the storm coming the most clearly are gaining the most....but we aren't terribly happy about it.

8. Retirement planning continues on the home front. Mexico is holding the #1 position and gaining....if this is Hannity's America he can have it back.

The Ultimate Fixer-Upper

I'm not terribly excited about which democrat wins the nomination because there is one thing I believe all of them get.....that we can't keep ignoring domestic matters. This alone puts all of them ahead of all the republican candidates who are too busy looking for Osama under their beds to care if American children go to bed on full stomachs or if they even have a bed of their own to go to.

Then too I have my doubts about how much even the most dedicated president will be able to accomplish given the fact they'll have the peanut gallery we call congress to deal with. I hope for the best but plan for the worst.

All of this led me to contemplate the faux news conference held by FEMA. Hold yer horses before you scream....they just might be on to something there. Maybe we ought to just go with a faux government altogether. They could issue faux statements, hold faux press conferences, pass faux resolutions that do absolutely nothing and basically just let the rest of us deal with the problems on the ground. Oh wait, that's already happening. The only thing we need to do is eliminate the presidents ability to actually act upon any of his positions and we'll have this mess all sewed up. We'll make him some foreign Head-of-State avatars he can teleconference with on the internets to keep him occupied. Faux news can be in charge of covering all the proceedings.

In the meantime the rest of us can begin going about the business of doing what needs to be done. I think this might just be a do-it-yourself project.

Whatever Didn't Kill You Probably Made You Mean As Hell

Re: my previous post which upon reflection probably comes across as a bit flip about California's troubles. Ok, I admit it, quite often my posts are somewhat flip about a lot of troubles. I'm not about to apologise for it but I'll go as far as giving the curious a l'il bit of context.

I lived in southern California for 20 years. Not once but twice an arsonist tried to torch my neighborhood, it's a daily fact of life there. Lots of mentally ill folks and lots of angry folks all looking at the herds of happy-happy, joy-joy families with their 500k houses. Shit is bound to happen.

100 years ago, back when I was a young, broke-as-hell, struggling single parent, the jackass who lived three doors down from me caught the building on fire and burned us all out on Christmas Eve. There I sat with a pile of burnt rubble, three small children and no place to go and not one person said "hey, is there anything I can do to help". Not that we had anything to start with.

Not whining, whatever does not kill you will make you stronger or at least meaner, tougher and thicker skinned. I did what I always did, figured a way to work things out on my own. So, while I'm not jumping for joy that a lot of people lost homes in the fires, I figure they'll live. Yes, there is an element of "most of them are people who would have spit in my face back in the day". Can't shake that completely, we are what life makes us.

I have lots of stories, most of them far, far worse, but really they're no more interesting than the stories of a few million other people. The only difference between me and them is most of them don't blog. Many of them didn't survive their stories. I save most of my empathy for them, the people who really are screwed in this world and there seem to be more of them every day. No, I don't feel anything but laughter welling up inside me when I see Mr. 80k per year crying about his student loans or his mortgage payment. I do not feel his pain. I think that's what some call "coming up hard" and that's what it does to you.

If it seems like I'm thumbing my nose at the world most of the time....it's because I am. Nearly half a century down the road and plenty of money in my pockets but the rage never quite goes away. Multiply that by a few million and you've got at least part of your answer as to what the hell is happening to our country. Think about it, millions of angry people who haven't been invited to the picnic and not all of them will content themselves with taking out their vengeance at a trading desk.

Let Them Eat Cake

Every now and then when I'm not in the middle of separating some republican from their cash or posting something to annoy them I do something useful or at least different.

Not sure if it was the craving for toasted marshmallows the California fires gave me or the fat piles of money I've taken from some stupid trader-boyz over the last couple of months but I was inspired to bake a cake. That's about as out-of-character as it gets for me considering I once tried to buy a house without a kitchen. Don't get me wrong, I can cook, it just isn't something I choose to do very often.

Anyhow, just to piss off the food police crowd here are a few pointers.

• Never, ever use store bought frosting.
• Add cream cheese to your frosting.
• Always use real sweet cream butter. For sweets (or my nappy hair) the only oils worthy of consideration are coconut or peanut. Corn oil and margarine are for pigs, not humans.
• Never ruin a chocolate orgasm with cheap ass waxy chocolate. Buy the good stuff.

Feel free to preface your chocolate cake orgy with some nice fried chicken (bread with real grated parmesan). Accessorize with fresh baked bread and wine of your choice (screw the French, the Turks got it goin' on). So far none of the above has given me high blood pressure, high cholesterol or diabetes. If it ever does I will at least die happy.

Common Sense: Not So Common

I've had at least a gazillion things floating around in my head that I could have posted about but the thing is, they're really all about the same thing: the almost total lack of common sense in this country today. If you stop and think about it that's the key to just about every other problem facing us. What we used to call "horse sense", good, old fashioned, down-to-earth pragmatism, is nearly non-existent in the public dialogue today and frankly it was the one thing that distinguished the US from nearly every other nation on the planet. It was what made us great.

My better half has a knack for nailing an issue without ever trying and often some of his most offhand remarks will sum up an issue in a simple sentence that I, in my infinite wordiness, would have needed at least a 200 page essay to explain. Case in point: some political talking head or other posed the question, "who is your least favorite candidate" and Dear One passing through the kitchen spit out "everyone currently running".

Ding, we have a winner. That's exactly right, I couldn't even begin to improve on that answer.

I watched the pundits scrambling to weigh in on whether or not Gore would run now that he's won the Nobel prize with great amusement. When you win a Gold medal in the Olympics do you set your sights on winning the sack race at the county fair? The US presidency used to be a prized and respected office, today it's a stepping stone to a great book deal and a career as a public speaker. It's one way of obtaining "street cred" to go on and actually accomplish something for those who have any real ability. For those who don't, it's tenure and a fat pension. It is impossible to accomplish anything of real value while holding public office and everyone who is anyone knows this so for the most part, smart, capable people do not run for office.

We the People with a little help from our friends in the media made it so. For the record: while Fox news does come to mind in the forefront I include 90% of the rest of them as well. Lately I find myself filtering my news intake through Mika Brzezinski and Jon Stewart. What does it say about a nation that can only tell the truth on the Comedy channel?

How did we get so stupid? I dunno, maybe we could start by taking a look at our schools. I'm going to piss off a whole lot of teachers here but I have to say it: more than half of our teachers are as useless as tits on a bull. That's right kids, idiots are raising our young. Given the current system what makes anyone think that someone capable of having an independent thought would seek a career in education? Toss in the fact that whoever came up with the idea that tossing 500 or 1000 adolescents together and expecting them to learn anything we'd like them to learn ought to be drawn and quartered. Cost effective maybe but you get exactly what you pay for, children who've been raised by other children.

I loved the ruckus over schools banning children from playing "tag". Mr. Principal of one such elementary school went on air to explain that some children were harassing other children during the course of this game. When asked by the interviewer why the school did not simply discipline the children who misbehaved Mr. Principal explained that the school did not "have the resources to manage the problem". Parents in the district were applauding this move. M'kay, you just had the principle of your childs school go on national television and admit that he and and his cadre of teachers could not manage a group of 10 year olds. What part of "entrusting your child to such a group of idiots makes you an even bigger idiot" are people not understanding? That is what Dear One would refer to as "shit-for-brains".

With that in mind is it so surprising that all we can focus on in an election is what lapel pin or hair style a candidate is sporting? Is it any more surprising that few if any sane, capable people would even consider running for public office? Oh yes, just what I'd love to do, go on national television and debate how to meddle in the people's private affairs by legislating weight control, smoking, and sexual preferences while the dollar is doing a cliff dive and we are spending billions of dollars trying to do something or other, we aren't quite certain what, in Iraq. That's a job interview for an idiot.

Sometimes it isn't just the right wing that's insane. What the hell makes the left think that ending the "War on Drugs" but declaring war on smokers and chunky people makes any kind of sense at all? Move to the back of the class. If you don't like smokers or fat people, don't associate with them and mind your own damned business. Maybe they don't like you either and maybe, just maybe, most of us would rather not reallocate more assets to a "War on Fried Chicken".

Then there's that whole "Global Warming" thing. I did not post about it the other day when all the blogs got together on it because, because, while it is most certainly a worthy issue I think most people are once again a little slow on the uptake. It's here, it isn't going away and no one knows how much or how fast regardless of how we spin it. "Tipping point" my ass, we passed that decades back so it's moot. Stop adding fuel to the fire or don't and gamble on hotter being better, your choice. Frankly I see an upside to Florida disappearing into the ocean, it troubles me not one bit and that is the coldhearted truth.

The not-so-common, common sense thing to do would be to focus on how to adapt to the changes. Tip of the day: don't plan to retire in the Florida Keys. If you already own a home down there, well, you're fucked. Cut your losses and get out while you might still be able to get something out of your investment...there's always a bigger sucker right behind you. Or sit there and whine, it's all the same to me.

You have no idea how it warms my cold little heart to see water wars erupting between Georgia and Mississippi, North and South Carolina, etc. Having spent my entire life in the southwestern deserts I can only laugh hysterically when observing an Alabama farmer complaining on TV about the severe drought whilst in the background he is running giant overhead sprinklers over his crops at high noon. Apparently the news about evaporation has never made it to Alabama.

We're so busy with the Great Immigration Debate that we've failed to realize it's about to become a moot point. Immigrants, in particular the bulk of Mexican immigrants, come here for employment. Now that we're on a collision course with rising unemployment and economic slow down, THEY AREN'T COMING. While we weren't looking, have you taken a gander at Mexico's burgeoning economy? Care to guess how many "US companies" are now owned by Mexican companies? I don't know the exact number but it's quite a few....didja know that Rinker Materials, one of the largest US building material manufacturers is now owned by Mexico's Cemex? Hopefully they'll be smart enough to move headquarters out of West Palm Beach or I'm selling my Cemex stock. Besides all that, Canada is recruiting them, at least till their right wing nutbag "culture warriors" try to dent that action. I'm seeing Moose Tacos in the not-so-distant future. Yo quiero Toronto Bell.

We've been screaming about our idiotic congress and I have to agree, 90% of them are idiots but I don't see much point in replacing them with another group of equally idiotic political shit-for-brains people. Maybe it's time we looked in the mirror when we seek the source of senatorial stupidity. Maybe if we stopped behaving like morons we could entice someone other than morons to run for office, ya think?

Stop and think people. What are our priorities and what exactly do we want government to be responsible for: national energy policy, fiscal responsibility, national infrastructure and foreign policy or controlling our obese, chain-smoking neighbors? Are we more concerned with climate change or monitoring the height of our neighbors grass? Do we want affordable healthcare for everyone or would we rather use our healthcare system like a slot machine and sue every time an outcome doesn't please us? Keep it up people, pretty soon you'll be delivering your own babies at home because no one wants to be an OB-GYN nowadays...too many lawsuits.

It's way past time we went back to using a little common sense and got a grip on reality. Reality is you can't control everyone else and sometimes bad things happen in spite of all best efforts and no, you don't get a million dollars every time an outcome doesn't please you and expect the system to be able to function effectively and there will always be people and behaviors that don't suit you and no, you cannot behead your neighbor because he's an obnoxious drunk who doesn't mow his lawn. Quit behaving like spoiled teenagers and grow up and deal with it.