Poverty is Bad For Business

Someone who gets it. From a business writer no less and about the dozenth one I've seen by a business writer in the last month or two.

On Poverty, Maybe We're All Wrong

Most years, what passes for the national debate about poverty is confined to the 24 hours after the government releases its annual report on household incomes, as it did yesterday.

The left expresses moral outrage -- in the richest country the world has ever known, one in every eight residents still lives in poverty -- and calls for government to do something about it.

The right, to the degree that it pays any attention to the issue at all, notes that while the poverty rate goes up and down with the economic cycle, it has remained relatively stable over the past 35 years and, in any case, represents a failure of government meddling, not a mandate for more of it.

That there is a germ of truth to both views does not excuse the fact that the debate has become stale and unproductive, based on misleading data and outdated assumptions.

Much better, conservatives say, to do away with all those patronizing and inefficient social welfare schemes that create perverse incentives and "empower" the poor to act in their own best interest using the same traditional market mechanisms as everyone else.

The best refutation of this argument that I've seen in a long time is contained in a new book, "The Persistence of Poverty," by a friend of mine, Charles "Buddy" Karelis, a professor at George Washington University. Karelis isn't an economist or social welfare expert but a philosopher by profession with wide-ranging curiosity, a dry wit and a weakness for unconventional wisdom. And after doing lots of reading and giving it extensive thought, Karelis concluded that the reason some people are perpetually poor is that they don't have enough money.

Ya think? That would seem obvious if we were at all rational creatures but it's fairly well documented that we are not. Pearlstein goes on to explain why it isn't as obvious as it seems at first glance but not wanting to rip off his entire article, I leave you to go read it. It's a refreshing change from Cowboy Bush who apparently believes the poor all gambled their money away at a Reno casino.

Some Days It Doesn't Suck to Be in Nevada

I did my time in California and I'd be the last person to say it doesn't have it's good points but there are several reasons I'd never consider moving back. Here is one of the main ones.

RHE man gets jail time for property fixes

He built a fence, a retaining wall, a patio and a few concrete columns to decorate his driveway, and now Francisco Linares is going to jail for it.

The 51-year-old bought the nearly 1-acre property in the 4600 block of Palos Verdes Drive North in 1998. After tearing down an adobe house on the site and building a 3,000-square-foot French-style home, he began landscaping.

When Linares asked the city to repair the white three-railed fence behind his house, he was told it was on his property and his responsibility. So he replaced the termite-infested planks. Then the city reversed itself and said Linares had illegally built the fence on city property.

In October 2004, the city charged Linares with three misdemeanors: for not taking down the fence, having a retaining wall built higher than a 2-foot restriction and for erecting stone columns without a neighborhood compatibility analysis. Later inspections found eight other violations, including a lack of permits for plumbing and grading.

Spin it any way you want to, you can't take a piss in California without a permit and good luck getting one in your lifetime. Don't even think about holding a yard sale without buying a permit either unless you don't mind a free weekend in the pokey. I knew it was time to get out of Dodge when I saw a 68-year old woman dragged out of her home in handcuffs and jailed for.....not having a city tag for her dog.

See in CA it's just too much trouble to go after people committing real crimes, like you know, shooting children in drive-by's. Much more cost effective to jail low-income grandmothers for unpaid doggie fines or those pesky homeless people collecting cans for resale.

After 20 years of watching all semblance of common sense buried under multiple layers of bureaucratic bullshit and more layers being added daily it was time to go. Nowadays I use the odd job recruiting letter the state tries to lure escapees back with to line the cat box.

Nevada definitely has it's troubles but at least I won't be going to jail if I decide to sell my tomatoes or build a fence.

Fox Means Business????

You thought Fox had no merit whatsoever didn't you. You were wrong, they ought to win a Best Comedy Show award for Bulls & Bears. The entire "Cost of Freedom" line-up deserves a nomination at the very least but Bulls & Bears is the clear stand out.

As if the ever-slutty Brenda Buttner and her snorting laugh weren't enough add in the cast of colorful, yet oddly unattractive and obnoxious middle-aged men still acting like high school boys in the locker room after the first Big Game of the season and it's a recipe for the most hysterical half hour of television you ever lost your lunch over.

You'll find it difficult to choose just one favorite character out of the brilliant cast of aging frat boys but Tobin Smith was my runner up. His loud laughter, extra-large teeth and penchant for sexist jokes make him as endearing as a close encounter with a brain-damaged hyena though somewhat less exciting.

Don't believe me? Read one fan's testimonial:

"I enjoy watching Tobin Smith on Fox's Bulls & Bears every Saturday morning. He's often wrong, but I like his enthusiasm."



In spite of all this overwhelming talent Gary B. Smith stands head and shoulders above the crowd. Tracked at Motley Fool Caps with an amazing accuracy of 42.11% you'd be well advised to flip a coin rather than listen to Gary when making your next investment decision.

Still, nothing can detract from the fun to be had waiting for the next nugget of advice to spew from Gary's mouth. Gary's been trying to push Take Two Interactive, maker of such fine games as Grand Theft Auto and Bully, for months now. Seems like kind of an odd choice for a supposedly conservative pundit on a conservative network but maybe this is just one screaming hot stock? Sadly no. TTWO has lost nearly 50% of it's value since Gary started plugging it, pays no dividend and is earning a whopping $-2.50 per share. Gary must simply enjoy killing prostitutes and being a bully!

Not one to be discouraged Gary has moved on, his current pick for the week: Beazer Homes, down from a high of $48 to it's current....$9.52? Must be a screaming deal, ya'll Fox viewers buy it and let me know how that works out for you, m'kay?

I'm telling you people, comedy just does not get any better than this and if you still can't get enough check out Gary's hedge fund, Exemplar Capital, LLC and you too can invest in Gary. He'll have your back....and your life savings!

Conservatives Just Want to Have Fun

Turns out Canadian conservatives are just as wild-at-heart as their American cousins. Meet Sharon Smith, a BC mayor and liason to the Harper government. The Galloping Beaver has the details but I could not resist posting such a fetching photo.


It's not so bad really. After all, what's a little nudity in the Mayor's office while wearing your official trappings. It's not like she tried to solicit men for sex in the restroom at a public airport.

Unfortunately Senator Larry Craig, R-Idaho did. I'm not sure that he actually did anything that contradicts his mission statement though. Goal #3 simply states: Defend and strengthen the traditional values of the American family.

Who am I to say that groping men in public restrooms is not a tradition in his family? No sheep were harmed in this incident.

Wanted: Any Nordic Country Willing to Invade Us

So yeah, I've had an almost irrepressible urge to hurl projectiles all this last week. Heat and believe it or not, humidity are probably not helping any either. Yes, I said humidity. In the middle of the damned desert. Currently 52%. If you've never experienced the desert in August with 52% humidity scratch it off of your to-do list.

It was a bad time to be spying on the Buttnugget Boys on Fox but I did it anyway. Misery loves company I suppose. About 15 minutes of listening to Charles Krauthammer opine upon what sort of government we should set up in Iraq....yes, he did. When exactly did it become ok for us to be this fucking arrogant? Alright, I know we've always been arrogant but we used to at least pretend we weren't. Haven't decided yet if it's better or worse that we're no longer pretending but I'm positive I would not be unhappy if Mr. Craphammer died a slow and painful death. Charles in Charge was better in the Scott Baio version.

Everything that is wrong with America in two words: Willie Geist. Hah, gotcha, you thought I was going to say George Bush. There's only one Shrub....the Geists are his seedlings.

Our proudest moment: we finally managed to deport Eva Arellano. This is what so many have fought and died for, the right to kick poor single mothers out of our country. God bless America. I'm now completely ashamed to be an American, thank you very much. When her little boy grows up and hates our guts don't act surprised.

Someone convince me we are not living in a William Golding novel.

Fuck Definitions

When did we start scrambling definitions so badly? I remember (just barely, we started scrambling early in my childhood) when "conservatives" were people who believed in being financially responsible. Back then "conservatives" were opposed to starting pre-emptive wars, even to becoming involved in the internal politics of other countries.

Somewhere along the way that all got turned around.

Nowadays espousing equal rights gets you tagged "a wild-eyed liberal". Advocating judicially imposed discrimination makes you "conservative". Unilateral attacks on non-combatant countries makes you a republican. Wanting government to manage money responsibly pretty much just gets you labelled crazy by either party.

One of my pet peeves has been the continuous bleating from the right about "multiculturalism". Supposedly, according to these folks, those evil liberals are ok with people coming to the US and committing "honor killings" and beating their wives because it's a part of their "culture" and we have to respect that. Wrong.

We aren't Belgium. Truly traditional Americans don't care if you want to cover your head, wash your feet in the restroom or wear what looks to us like a bedsheet. It's called personal liberty and we respect that. We care a lot if you think violating our laws is going to be just hunky-dory. I wouldn't move to Saudi Arabia and expect to run around in shorts or drive a car. Well, ok, I wouldn't move to Saudi Arabia at all. Ever. That's the point, if you can't deal with the laws of a country DON'T MOVE THERE. There are thousands of miles of difference between being tolerant of practices different from our own and and allowing people to dictate our laws to us. Most of us are down with the first one.

Right wingers you really ought to stop smoking crack. You'd be hard pressed to find 2% of the US population who would be ok with female circumcision, honor killings or any other nonsense like that. Ain't happening. America has been "multicultural" since before it was called America. If you aren't used to it by now maybe it's you who ought to contemplate moving somewhere more homogeneous. My last two bosses were Muslims, one married to a Mexican. Their boss was a white guy from Appalachia who married a Hasidic Jew. Grow up. Tribalism is a deadend and mix-n-match is as "traditionally American" as it gets.

So some groups choose to separate themselves and maintain a distinctly different culture you say? Yes, some do. Guess what happens to them? They get left behind. They never make it to the playing field much less the winner's circle.

There is nothing "liberal" about equality and caring about those less fortunate is not a "wild-eyed liberal" philosophy. Respecting individuals' right to live in peace in pretty much any way they see fit is not a "radical" concept. It's as traditionally American as apple pie and baseball.

Most if not all of the problems we are facing right now are because we quit following those principles. We decided to run out in the world and force "democracy" and "equality" on the rest of the world while not even practicing it all that well at home. It's one thing to want to help others, it's quite another to ram that help down their throats by force when they don't want it.

Any nation that deliberately and consistently chooses to live in ways that do not benefit all of its citizens, that cannot adapt to change and that stubbornly clings to a "me first & my way or the highway" philosophy deserves to implode and will. Including us. Maybe that sounds coldhearted but it's been kind of a universal law like....forever. We can make up all the labels and definitions we want to but the universe has its own laws and they trump ours.

Next person who calls me a wild-eyed liberal is a turdblossom.

Pahrump Farts: Predator Pahrump

Our small desert community was rocked (ok, a few people hiccuped) when local 5th grade teacher Michael Gogerty was arrested by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers under the initiative, Operation Predator, which began in 2003 to deport foreign national sexual predators. Prior to that job, the 24-year Las Vegas resident taught at a Las Vegas elementary school and worked in three different day-care facilities.

Local anti-immigration activists were outraged. Stated one anonymous source, "hardworking American perverts are doing without jobs and the schools are hiring Canadians....all this outsourcing has to stop". An unnamed source within the school district responded saying, "American child molestors just won't work for these wages".

Speaking of Bailouts...

Who is going to bail these people out? My guess would be not their insurers and not our federal government either. Wonder how many of them will ever recover from their losses....maybe they could ask the folks down in the gulf who lost their homes to Katrina.

22 deaths and counting, thousands homeless and no bailouts in sight and I sincerely hope they had not paid their mortgages. Guess what is going to happen to a lot of those people. The lucky ones will be able to scrape by in their water damaged homes, if they're really lucky they'll be able to afford repairs before they get sick from mold and mildew born illnesses. The unlucky ones will be homeless, have negative credit for not paying their mortgage (yes, the lenders will still foreclose even if the house no longer exists) and best of luck to them trying to rent with bad credit. That's assuming they still have a job and their employer survived the flood. America will forget all about them.

We'll remember now and then if Anderson Cooper does a special but our tears won't help them, not one little bit.

Wrong Questions

Maybe I'm crazy, certainly I've been accused of it more than once but it seems to me that we're usually focusing on the wrong aspects of most issues.

I detest Utah mine owner Bob Murray and everything he stands for (add CNN anchor Kyra Phillips to my crap list for making me want to vomit with that piece of drooling sentimentality she called an interview too) but he isn't really the issue. As long as we continue to do the things we do there will be Bob Murrays come along to take advantage of the situation. No way to prevent it.

Shouldn't we be looking at our use of coal and other natural resources and ways to put an end to or at least reduce the profitability of endeavors like his? Less demand for coal = fewer people risking their lives so we can run our hair dryer.

Here in Nevada, the land of over abundant wind and sunshine Harry Reid is fighting the plan to build three brand new coal-fired power plants. We don't need them.

The state of Nevada has been cited as a "highly favorable" state to develop renewable energy. It is blessed with natural energy resources. The numerous mountain ranges, bordered by underground faults, are sources for geothermal energy. The Department of Interior has listed 10 sites in Nevada that could produce geothermal energy in the next two years. Each of these sites is located near transportation lines, which could transmit energy to other markets. Geothermal power provides the nation with about 17 percent of the renewable energy, but is less than 0.75 percent of the nation's total energy supply.

Solar energy generated from the sunlight of Southern Nevada, on a 100-square-mile grid alone, could supply enough electricity to power the rest of the United States. Wind power has the potential to produce twice as much electricity as nuclear energy. Currently, not even counting solar power, Nevada could produce 27 percent more from renewable resources. This energy could be exported to other states, creating more jobs and economic benefit to Nevada. Floor Statement of Congresswoman Shelley Berkley

So worst case scenario: coal miners might have to move and work in the clean energy industry. Upside: can't recall many people being killed at windfarms. Bob Murray might have to get a job.

If we don't want people to die in coal mines, stop using so much coal. It's a nasty, dangerous job under the best of conditions and all the safety measures in the world will not change that. We need to stop kidding ourselves that we can make it safe.

I can think of a few dozen more recent events that fit the "wrong question" category:

Michael Vick: why do we deify people who are good at sports then act surprised when they act an ass? Dogfighting has been going on in this country since we've been a country, law enforcement never cared before because, doh, many of them were involved in it. It's our culture stupid. We still think men beating each other half to death is an acceptable sport.

The mortgage crises: we can blame predatory lenders, we can also blame people who made stupid financial choices but isn't the real problem that we turned homes into commodities and ran the costs up so far 50% of Americans may never be able to own their own?

Drop in retail earnings: if 80% of our population is employed for wages that don't allow them any purchasing power....who did we think we were going to sell all of our trinkets to? No problem, we'll just import cheaper trinkets then cry when China sends us defective ones.

We hate poor people, don't want to live around them and don't want them in our neighborhoods, we already know there is a definite correlation between poverty and crime, substance abuse and every other thing we claim to want to put an end to so why do we keep making more people poor?

Maybe I AM crazy but a whole lot of our troubles seem like no-brainers to me.

Was overdue for a picture change on the sidebar. Since my name is not GW Bush I have to acknowledge changing conditions on the ground, no?

Voodoo Economics 101

Four Major Banks Borrow From Fed

NEW YORK (AP) -- Four major banks said Wednesday they each borrowed $500 million from the Federal Reserve's discount window, lending weight to the central bank's efforts to restore liquidity to tight markets.

In a joint statement, the latter three banks said they decided to borrow the money to demonstrate "the potential value of the Fed's primary credit facility" and encourage its use by other banks.

"Simultaneous action by these four institutions -- at the same time, on the same day, for the same amount of money -- suggests that the move is intended to have some symbolic value," said Aaron Gurwitz, co-head of portfolio strategy at Lehman Brothers Investment Management Division. "But it may also be a way for them to make money."

Gurwitz followed up his statement by hopping three times on each foot and rattling a chicken bone.

Head shaman Bernanke remained in seclusion today and is expected to announce his latest tea leaf reading later this week

Irrelevant Thing that Caught My Attention

Here is where I have to confess to being so inherently dull I sometimes watch The Weather Channel. Go ahead and laugh, it beats being one of the herd watching WWE.

Anyhoo, I kept finding myself staring at anchor Betty Davis and could not figure out why something about her seemed so familiar. Finally nailed it. She's a ringer for actress Sandra Bernhardt. Check it out.

We're #1

U.S. Foreclosures Rise Sharply in July

LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Foreclosure filings rose 9 percent from June to July and surged 93 percent over the same period last year, with Nevada, Georgia and Michigan accounting for the highest foreclosure rates nationwide, a research firm said Tuesday.

"While 43 states experienced year-over-year increases in foreclosure activity, just five states -- California, Florida, Michigan, Ohio and Georgia -- accounted for more than half of the nation's total foreclosure filings," said RealtyTrac Chief Executive James J. Saccacio.

Nevada posted the highest foreclosure rate: one filing for every 199 households, or more than three times the national average. It reported 5,116 filings during the month, an increase of 8 percent from June.

Huge surprise. Not. Exactly how long did we think we could continue selling increasingly expensive real estate to buyers increasingly less able to afford it? You didn't need to be an economics major to see this one coming.....the minute lenders began lowering the bar it ought to have been a signal: a last gasp measure to prop up a saturated market and keep their cash cow going. Nevada was a class A example: house flippers were selling houses to house flippers lower in the food chain and it sucks to be plankton.

Prices skyrocketed, families that actually wanted a house just to live in were priced out. Buying a house simply to live in was so 80's. We finally ran out of plankton.

Sorry but Dem candidates pushing for bailouts are not going to impress me, for the most part these loans did not go to low-income families struggling to get their foot in the door. Most of these loans went to middle and higher income people looking to make a profit and/or live above their means. Most of them were really bad at basic math. That's unfortunate but now we're all going to pay as the fallout runs through the rest of the economy. Throw away more money to bail out the people who created this mess? I'm just not feeling it.

Just Blame Canada

I was checking up on Marathon Oil and ran across an interesting tidbit. Seems MRO is buying Canada's Western Oil Sands Athabaskan Oil Sands Project. That wasn't all that fascinating except for the clause about one of the conditions being the AOSP divest itself of all interests and assets in the federal region of Kurdistan.

Not a problem. Western Oil Sands will simply reorganize as Western Zagros Resources and issue new shares to investors. Everybody wins except maybe the troops who have to stay overseas and protect this investment. Go on and read it, I especially love the notation at the top of the page "/NOT FOR DISTRIBUTION TO U.S. NEWSWIRE SERVICES OR DISSEMINATION IN THE UNITED STATES/".

So we can just blame Canada, right? Not quite. If you take a look at the numbers the majority of our imported oil is coming not from Saudi Arabia but from Canada. How convenient.

Hatin' On Edwards

If we're going to hate on him at least be real about why. The fuss over his investment in Fortress is pure bullshit.

Some basic realities:

1. People with millions of dollars need places to keep those dollars, hedge funds are one of those places. You don't become wealthy or stay that way by storing your money in a passbook savings account or in your mattress.

2. No one who invests is 100% in the clear. There is absolutely no way to be certain that not only is every fund or company one is invested in is not involved in any illegal, unethical or simply offensive behavior, for certain it is impossible to know everything about everything they themselves are invested in. Trying to barbecue Edwards because a fund he invested in in turn invested in other companies at least one of which is foreclosing on homes in New Orleans...please, give me a break. It's highly unlikely Edwards had more than the barest awareness he even owned this fund, I'm sure he pays people to manage his investments unlike someone like me who has to do her own legwork.

3. Most of the people doing the most squealing about this would be delighted if they owned those shares and would not think twice about foreclosing on their own grandmother if it meant they'd pocket a nice profit.

4. Every single person running for president is a wealthy person compared to the majority of Americans, we don't vote for broke-ass m'fers. They didn't become wealthy by giving away free homes to the homeless, I don't care how much some of them try to pretend they're Cesar Chavez (yes, I said Cesar not Hugo because he's a phony m'fer too)

5. Nothing is all good or all bad. You might feel positively saintly by investing all of your money in something like Whole Foods but the truth is you'd be invested in a company that while it may be fabulous, sells groceries that the average American family can not afford to buy. Exxon may be run by greedy little trolls but without them you'd be walking to work in 100 degree heat, not driving or riding in an air conditioned bus. Investing is essentially nothing much more than making a buck off of the cupidity of others.

I'm far from being a John Edwards fan (talk to me about Elizabeth maybe) but attacking him for being another wealthy investor is just flat hypocritical. If we're going to do that then we have to toss out all of them and start over down at the trailer park. Never mind, that wouldn't work either because as soon as the guy from the trailer park got his foot in the door....he'd be the same as the ones we have in there now. Probably worse.

If He's Good enough For Buffett....

There are not many people I actually listen to at all. Face it, I'm mean and cynical and think 90% of humans are not very nice and not overly bright. Self included.

Warren Buffett is one of those rare exceptions, someone I can never discount entirely. Call it a gift for recognizing people who are more gifted than I am.

With that in mind I'm going to have to pull back on my fears about Obama versus our economy and at least reserve judgement. If Buffett thinks either Obama or Clinton is an excellent choice I have to at least consider it because, well, Buffett is neither an asshat nor a fool and while he certainly is not infallible...he's closer to it than the other 90% of us. I like those odds.

I still love Bill Richardson but, and it's a huge but, we need someone who can actually be elected and while I do think there is a good chance Richardson could win a general election, between his lack of skill in debates and public speeches and the fact that he's highly unlikely to get past the further left regions of the party to ever win the nomination......let's be honest here, Democrats tend to be nicer people but as a group have never voted very strategically. Which is why we've gotten our asses handed to us so often.

Yeah, he had a decent chance when Nevada actually mattered in the primaries, even our Republicans are not for the most part "social conservatives" (just short-sighted greedy fucks who don't want to pay taxes) but now that the primaries will be decided in Iowa, South Carolina and every other place but the west, not so good.

Ah well, guess that just puts me back in the "undecided" camp.

Just Spit It Out Already

Still thinking about the Richardson meltdown and overall non-stellar performance of all the participants in the HRC sponsored debate and I have to say WTF???

This is 2007, the beginning of the 21st century and we still can barely choke out the words "gay" or "homosexuality"? The few who can spit it out without nearly swallowing their own tongue still don't dare cross the line into saying sure, I think it's fine & dandy if you get married. An election loser fer sure, fer sure. WHY?

I'm not gay, to the best of my knowledge I fall in that 55% of the population who doesn't even have a gay relative so I have no deep personal stake in the matter.....aside from the fact that as a human being it's the right thing to do for other human beings. It just is. Period.

I don't know or care if people are born with a preference, develop one early on or even if it's the same for everyone....I don't need to know because it does not matter. No one owes it to anyone else to give reasons why they love whoever they love. Maybe it was just me but I found the question itself at least stupid if not downright offensive. Lookee here gay people: don't try to justify anything, you don't owe anyone anything.

Who in the hell are these 57% who are so vested in making certain same-sex couples can't get married and why in the hell are they so damned interested? Frankly I can't think of many things I'd care to obsess about less than other peoples' sex lives, gay or straight and I have to tell you if you are really upset about this issue....you really are not normal, seek therapy, m'kay?

Naturally this started me off on a tangent about a multitude of other retarded things we say and hear everyday.

Is Obama Black enough? Are we ready for a female president? If you're voting on race or gender you have issues I can't help you with. Christ on a bicycle, are we EVER going to get to the point that race, gender, sexual preference or the size of a persons waistband don't define every other thing about them? Thousands of years of known history and this is the best we can do? Look, I can't stand Mitt Romney but it's because of his views on policy, I don't care if he's Mormon or worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

And yappity-yap-yap about candidates' "likeability factor". Doh. I'm not planning to hook up with any of them and I doubt any of them would give me the time of day if I tried. Nor would I expect them to, they have their things to do and I've got mine. If I voted for the person I "liked" I'd vote for fucking ELIZABETH Edwards. That might not be the best choice for leading the country though. Who the hell cares if a candidate is "likeable" or not, unless you're thinking you really have a shot at getting them to your candlight supper and your last name is happens to be something like Rockefeller or Geffen you're pissing up a rope. Barack ain't going to strip for you and Hillary ain't showin' up fer yer house party and not even Dennis Kucinich is going to be your private dancer (and for THAT I'm eternally grateful). I don't care if the person that will do the job I want done is cross-eyed, fat, smelly and bald-headed (even if female). I do care that they aren't stupid and they know what they're doing and that when they don't....they're smart enough to surround themselves with people who do know and actually listen to their advice. That would just be fucking refreshing after the last 8 years.

But here we are in the 21st century and still, STILL we can't get past trivia and bullshit. Last week Chris Matthews had some woman on, who I regard so little I'm not even going to look up her name, who was intent on making a major issue out of Clinton saying "I'm your girl". Whatever. It would have seemed a bit odd if she'd said "I'm, your boy". Supposedly, according to Miss Heffalump, this was going to enrage all the "radical feminists".

What the hell is a "radical feminist"? Someone who threatens to blow up your sewer system if you don't pay her an additional 6 weeks of maternity leave? A group of women intent on the destruction of NASCAR? Look lady, there is nothing "radical" about demanding equitable treatment, not since about 1950 anyway. When I show up on the set of Hardball, drag you around the set by your perfectly coiffed hair and proceed to kick in about $5,000 worth of fancy dental work and your new nose job...THEN you can call me radical. Until then, if you think "feminism", whatever in the hell that means anyway, is so damned radical and disagreeable to you then you should shut your big, fat piehole and get your stanky arse back in the kitchen because it was "feminism" that gave you the opportunity to have a career and go on national television and show everyone what a fucking retarded assclown you truly are.

In the year 2007 one would have hoped we'd have been laughing people like this off of the stage. No, instead we have to question candidates about their views on Jesus, the sexual preferences of other adults, and their racial identity and allow anyone, no matter how stupid, to be recognized as a credible pundit. No wonder we wind up in the sort of messes we do.

You know the rightwing may be correct about one thing (even a blind pig occasionally finds an acorn, no?). They like to flap their yaps about how "political correctness has ruined our country". I agree. We've become incapable of calling an idiot and idiot.

Progress and More Good News

500 or so people killed in a single day is certainly more efficient than the measly 80 or 100 we were averaging so yes, one could call that progress. With any luck at all when the arms we're selling to the Saudis (and the ones we're just flat giving away to Sunni Baathists) start funnelling into the various organisations and militias everyone can kill everyone else with enhanced efficiency. I don't know why I didn't see the beauty of this plan sooner. Have the Iraqis all kill each other thus freeing us up to start on Iran. Brilliant.

Ok, ok, so the markets are a little rough right now but that will all change once the Iraqis are all dead and we get the new and improved Halliburtonland up and running. I'm seeing golf courses and Del Webb Desert Oasis planned communities on the horizon. As an added bonus we can ship all of our Mexican workers over there to build it putting an end to the national have-you-kicked-a-Mexican-today sport and appeasing big, hairy, white guys all over this great nation.

Proof positive that Jesus is on our side: there is no drought, in fact Texas in particular is about to have an even greater abundance of water. Granted many people will lose homes if this flooding continues but think of the money they'll save on property taxes.

Now I know some people are probably saying but, but, but, bridges are collapsing and people are dying! Well, environmentalists and the anti-immigration people have been complaining about overpopulation so losing a few dozen here and there shouldn't bother either of those groups. Besides, if more bridges collapse it would become increasingly difficult to get in and out of some cities which would put a dent in illegal immigration. You've got to look at the upside here, right? True, if things got bad enough some people might have to do without some little amenities like, you know, electricity and stuff but the good news is they wouldn't have to pay any taxes!

Speaking of overpopulation, we need to get moving on reinstating the draft. We have millions of young teens waiting in the wings who will commence to breeding if we don't give them something more productive to do. Like go kill more people. Then again if we go ahead and let them start taking guns to school and arm the teachers....might take care of the problem.

In keeping with my new attitude I'll close with a plug for a brand new planned community right here in beautiful Pahrump, Nevada. For only $250,000 you too can buy a brand new, semi-custom home at Ishani Ridge just down the road a piece from moi. Granted there is no "ridge" for at least 100 miles or so but the homes do have a magnificent frontal view of several acres filled with invasive Salt Cedars and a chain link fence. Be sure to see Fely Quitevas for all your real estate needs so a portion of your commission fees will be donated to the Republican National Committee.



See, if you're a Republican there's always an upside!

It's Been a Fabulous Week

Previous rumour appears to not have been true but Karl Rove's resignation does make up for it a bit. Hopefully he'll enjoy the Texas heat and humidity. Say "there is no climate change".
Repeat ad infinitum while clicking your heels, maybe the Good Fairy will hear you.

I've given up on the presidential race more or less, Richardson's pretty much blown his chances and we're down to a Clinton -vs- Obama match. Yawn. We'll be in Iraq until Bush is out of office or we flat run out of troops and the majority of Americans essentially do not care. Another yawn. A bridge collapses but that will look like a fender-bender when a dam gives way, in the meantime we'll ignore it and fight about abortion, school prayer, and flag burning. Oh yeah, and gay marriage, the greatest threat to national security. Well, aside from Osama & friends scuba diving in our sewer systems. I checked my septic tank and he isn't there. Very disappointing, I was going to stuff some of his essential parts down his throat and post the video on YouTube. It would have been at least #3.

EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE FUCK I SHOULD CARE?????

See I realized I've been looking at this all wrong. I should be supporting the war and encouraging all young rightwingers to enlist. Preferably by age 12. Between that and random dialing people in Georgia to ask how they're enjoying the weather I should be able to entertain myself until I'm at least 99.

So there you go Dems, if you want to have some fun go adopt yourself a pet conservative and start encouraging them along their path. Make some popcorn, sit back and watch their head explode.

Hot Hot Rumor of the Day

Rumor flying that infamous Maricopa county Sheriff Joe Arpaio has been arrested for...DUI??? I am sooo going to laugh my butt off if this one turns out to be true.