Thursday, November 30, 2006

Pahrump Fuels the Market for Nuttybars

UNLV students protesting the Pahrump "English Only" ordinance in Las Vegas on Wednesday were greeted by members of the National Vanguard, a racist, far-right hate group with it's home base in Virginia. Thanks Virginia, we didn 't have enough assmonkeys here already.

Not much happened, a couple of Vanguard members were cited but this may well have been a publicity move for the group which is attempting to establish it's own political party here in the Silver State, the White People's Party. Charming folks, read all about them.

Somebody please give all those folks who keep bleating this issue "isn't about race, it's about language" a clue, this is ALL about race, racism, and pure old-fashioned hate. If you still don't get that you can kiss my lily-white ass.

Las Vegas Review Journal

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Maliki Memo

So the memo from national security advisor Stephen Hadley in one breath says:

"The reality on the streets of Baghdad suggests Maliki is either ignorant of what is going on, misrepresenting his intentions, or that his capabilities are not yet sufficient to turn his good intentions into action,"

....and then in the next breath goes on to lay out an extensive series of steps the United States can take to help the Iraqi leader, including boosting his political base and fortifying the country's security capabilities.

So, in effect we just said that Maliki may very well be either a) stupid or b) a liar or possibly just c) lacking in political capital but hey, what the's how we can buck him up anyway.

Please tell me someone else out there sees the flaw in this brilliant piece of logic. Isn't this saying "you may be a lying, untrustworthy, idiot and your people won't listen to you but we're going to make you a STAR!"

All else failing maybe we can get him into a boy band.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Too Much Information

Today we have some of our right-wing denying much of the chaos in Iraq over the weekend really occurred at Observations of the World from the Heart of Jesusland! Now THAT by-line will most certainly assure me of their credibility. Someone call the Iraqi folks standing outside the morgues and tell was all a hoax.

Homeowners ASSociation in Colorado demanding a peace-symbol shaped wreath be taken may be a sign of the Devil. Let something like this slide and next thing you know we'll be worshipping graven images of Paris Hilton.

Book bannings in America, who knew U.S. poet laureate Maya Angelou was such a threat to our moral fiber. Here's a thought...let's get rid of ALL books in the schools, then we can be just like any other ignorant and oppressive regime and concentrate on important matters like blowing each other up.

Tomorrow we have the Papal visit to Turkey. Like they didn't already have enough problems with religious extremists -vs- secularists, toss in a visit from the leader of the Catholic church. What part of this does anyone consider helpful?

Wednesday will be the much heralded meeting between Bush and Iraqi PM al-Maliki. Bets on wether or not the Iraqi government survives the meeting.

Does it occur to anyone that the same issues are at the root of all of the above: stupidity and religion. Maybe that is actually one issue. Yes, I just called religion stupid, now get mad, do the rest of us a favour and blow yourself up.

As a child I remember learning about the Crusades and thinking how ridiculous that people could have behaved in such a fashion and being thankful that I lived in a world where people were no longer so foolish. I would never have believed I'd live to see us repeat the idiocy of our ancestors in my lifetime.

I underestimated the destructive power of religion to incite people to control others and in fact, kill others, in the name of whatever bloody, merciless God-of-people-looking-for-an-excuse-to-fuck-with-everyone-else they worship. Special thanks to all of you for turning my world into one giant ball of psychotic mass murderers, control freaks, and plain old-fashioned morons.

Hat tips: The Sudanese Thinker, Konagod, The Coyote Chronicles

Sunday, November 26, 2006

America's Hidden Enemy: The Scots

Ha, got your attention. Mark Day on George Bush's Mexican border fence. Quite funny and he never once mentions oatmeal.

This post dedicated to S2, yes, you know who you are.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

If You Think Immigrants Took Your Job

Then Carlos Mencia has this very informative video for you. Enjoy.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Weekly Roundup: Pahrump Farts

Decided our ongoing local campaign for racial hatred and intolerance deserved a full weeks summary, most excitin' stuff a-goin' on since them city slickers buried all of Binion's silver down the road.

Per the Las Vegas Review Journal, Sheriff Tony DeMeo is refusing to prosecute those criminal masterminds who dare to fly foreign flags. The good Sheriff even said the law was "unconstitutional" and crimes committed against persons over these issues would be prosecuted as "hate crimes". Apparently he takes a very dim view of actions like these:

Lucero Enrriquez, a Mexican immigrant and the owner of Mi Ranchito market in Pahrump, received an anonymous postcard last week that said, in part, "We are sick to our stomachs of seeing Mexicans on every street walking with 2 or 3 kids and the mother has (2) more in her belly. ... You people are draining and abusing our welfare system and we are frankly sick of it."

George Romero, owner of Pahrump's Romero's Mexican restaurant, said he got a call on Friday from an unidentified man who told him, "If I didn't like the ordinance, I could get out of town."

Just when I'm about to concede that everyone here is insane you go and muck up my hypothesis. Kudos to Sheriff DeMeo.

Facing off in the ring with our good Sheriff is town board member Michael Miraglia (a recent immigrant from Illinois).

Miraglia, who brought the ordinance forward, said he was tired of encountering people who do not speak English.
He mentioned a specific incident at a restaurant in which a worker did not understand Miraglia's request for a napkin.
The final ordinance was a stripped down version of a previous proposal that would have made it illegal to hire, do business with or loan money to illegal immigrants.
Miraglia said he toned it down a bit because the town doesn't have the money or resources to go after employers and landlords.

The town board may vote on a proposal to execute restaurant workers who do not respond rapidly to napkin and condiment requests next week. Mr. Miraglia does make one good point, the town really does not have the resources to go after anyone because the town board keeps running all the businesses off. Now someone get me Senator Obama's e-mail addy, I want this guy deported back to Illinois.

State officials are reporting that Hispanics make up less than 9% of Nye county's population and according to police, school and health care administrators they have seen none of the drain on public services often cited by proponents of ordinances targeting undocumented immigrants.
When asked if Nye county struggled to provide services for non-English speaking students Nye County School District Superintendent Rob Roberts said "We struggle with being the 47th or 48th state in the country in per-pupil spending. That's what we struggle with"

Hmm, wonder if that right there might explain some of this mess.

Quotes from the Bards of Pahrump:

We have individuals that openly carry here and are true patriots. We will protect Pahrump.

The minute-man thing is a waste of time. Why not mine the border? Everytime you heard a boom, you'd know it's working. The only thing I'd worry about is some poor animal that might get blown up by mistake. The illegals, who cares?

Yeah I used to like going to a whole lot of the Mexican places here in town, after the summer walkout I have yet to be back to any of them.

If we get to a showdown with the outside lawyers I think you will see hundreds of people supporting the town board. As calling has said many times, this issue is going to get explosive and violent.

We are not going to any Mexican restaurants ALL 12 of us.Glad to see Pahrump Community Church placed a sign on their Food Bank Door U.S. ID only. Do not know about the Salvation Army. Only know that they fed Mexicans.

Hey BC if a bunch of PAHRUMP AMERICANS went to this Bobs house with chain saws and cut down the non-American flags what would Tony Demao do ?Would we get arrested for enforceing the laws of the land ?

I have a question. Is DeMeo an Illegal? Since reading that he will prosecute Americans, I wonder. Does anyone remember "Smilin Jack"? {the cartoon character] DeMeo reminds me of him, always smiling.Never trusted anyone who always smiled.

Hot damn, our sheriff is an illegal immigrant, the Salvation Army is the Spawn of Satan, and Mexican restaurants are doing the work of the Devil, who knew. You better listen up Taco Bell....don't come to Pahrump or folks might take a chainsaw to your signs.

My own personal experience with all of this was limited to one incident in which a man threatened to shove at least 3 foreign flags up my ass for having the temerity to point out vandalism and trespassing were illegal. This may however have been an attempt at flirtation taken from the Nevada Men's Guide to Courtship.

Till later folks, staying locked & loaded here in the Silver State.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Israel to US: We Ain't No Dumbass Rednecks

Saw this at Sandmonkey and could not resist sharing. Read it here.

Apologies to all the non-heterosexual folks who have moved off to Canada because I just can't get these people here to stop eating Mexicans and working on flag-flying amendments long enough to focus on these other issues.

Maybe if ya'll promise to be White, Christian, and only fly the US flag they'll consider your case.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

And Speaking of Embarrassing Moments....

My little ol' hole-in-the-wall township just made CNN courtesy of Lou "let's-eat-the-Mexicans" Dobbs. He is just so proud of us'n Mexican-hating, flag-waving, hate-spewing, beer-bellied advocates of the right-to-be-asstards he sent one of his henchmen to broadcast live from here.

Now excuse me while I go puke.

Get Out of My Coffee

I'm all for freedom, even for incredibly stupid people but please, don't even try to put me or people like me in with these nutbars and their Orgasm for Peace.

I'm seeing this posted all over the web and of course the wingnuts are trying to use it as proof-positive that all democrats are crazed hippies living in treehouses. Kindly fuck off. These folks are clearly a few bricks shy of a full load....just like a whole helluva lot of your constituents are.

Do you suppose part of the reason we keep ending up with nuttybars of both flavours holding public office might have something to do with our primary voting system? What would happen if, hypothetically, we had open primaries in every state and every voter could vote for one candidate from each party?

I'll tell you what would happen, the freaks and wingnuts would get kicked to the curb. Hard. The majority of voters would vote towards the center eliminating the farbies before they ever made it to the starting gate.

This is of course contrary to the interests of the fanatical fringe on both sides so I'm sure they'd fight such a proposal with their last dying breath but I'm okay with that...some things need to die.

What Nationality Am I?

Listening to the current (mostly insane) debates over immigration has raised some important questions for me.

Currently there are several proposals floating around attempting to deny citizenship status to children born in the US of non-citizen parentage. Now my parents were not US citizens, they were Canadians at the time I made my grand entry to the world. My mother later became a US citizen.

So, if we pass such legislation will this be retroactive for all living persons? If so then technically I will no longer be a US citizen. Much as I might heartily enjoy being deported to Canada it is unfortunate that at the time of my birth (1963) Canada did not recognise as citizens those persons born outside of Canada even if the parents were Canadian. Effectively I have no absolute legal claim to Canadian citizenship so hypothetically if I were deported to Canada they could freely deport me to....I dunno...where would they deport me to? Makes your head hurt to consider this scenario.

Okay, so it is a bit far-fetched and not overly likely to come up but under the current anti-immigrant ranting and raving going on here I would hesitate to call it impossible. It would amuse me a great deal to know what other persons some of these proposed changes to citizenship laws would affect. I suspect it might fall under the "laws of unintended consequences" that this sort of thing usually generates.

Always be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.

Monday, November 20, 2006

A Moment of Righteous Sanity

I wasn't going to mention the whole O.J. Simpson stinking mess of media-whoring but I can't let an opportunity to actually be proud of my countrymen pass.

You've actually warmed my bitter and cynical heart (don't get too excited, I still have little faith in you). Instead of doing what I expected and rushing to view this walking piece of human offal and give him and the Fox network the publicity and ratings they both so crave, you went and pushed Fox to do a complete 360 and pull the show. Now his book won't even be published and literary history will be all the better for it.

Naturally I still long for the day the taking of any life, no matter who or what they were, stirs this sort of reaction but.....

Just for today you've made me happy and given me just a thimbleful of hope.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Charlie Gets in Your Face

Hey Righties, ya'll listen up Rep. Rangel Will Seek to Reinstate Draft. Yes boyz and gurlz, this means you. All of you, don't care who your daddy is, don't care who your mama blew.

No, I don't want a draft but goddamn if I don't enjoy Rangel putting it out there. Let's make it "mandatory service" for everyone, no exceptions.

You want to keep invading other countries? Fine, send your own kids too. Quit letting your crocodile mouths overload your bumblebee asses and put your own precious babies on the line. They can go to that Ivy League school after their service, assuming they survive.

Somehow I suspect we'd be more inclined to only use force as a last resort if we had mandatory service for all. Sorry all you armchair sitting, flagwaving, assmaggots, this just might put you out of a job.

Friday, November 17, 2006

The American Heartlessland

I spent some time the last few days trolling blogs and my local forum and find myself laughing (a tad hysterically) at the numerous posts on "conservative" sites bemoaning the "spiteful vitriol, anger, and hatred" coming from the "liberals".

Let's show you a few juicy posts from the locals here on my home turf.

From Let's Talk, Pahrump's very own local forum:

Lets allow all babies born here to have limited citizenship BUT because their parents are not legally in the USA they (the parents) must be deported ASAP(RFN). These babies shall be wards of the state and placed in state run orphanages. Upond their 18th birthday or when they finish up with any and all required training....they are placed into the military for no less then 10 years of service. If after that 10 years of military service they have been honorable members of the state and the military...then they may apply for active citizenship. If they have not been honorable to the U.S. and followed all the requirements then they are sent back to the nation of their ancestry.

Well I just spent a whole day in LV doing shopping, going to doctors and in general driving all over that insane city. I thought I was in Guadalajara Mexico. So damn many hispanic people everywhere I turn. What bothered me the most was at the doctors office when they cme in groups of 5 to 7 for medical care. They must all be on some government dole to be there. Then you see the little short fat moms, and they all look alike, driving in the largest SUV's and wheeling their anchor baby's around. Then they seemed to have taken over the Wall Mart I went into. This third world immigration is out of control.

I definitely do not wish any brown great grand children. Now, if Liberallisa wants to have brown children. This is a free country, let her surprise her parents. Hope they enjoy the surprise.

There are just three of the latest comments by our fine, upstanding, white, Christian, conservative citizenry. Does it make you proud to be an American? Stay tuned, maybe by next week they'll be advocating to begin killing all the first-born sons.

Sorry to tell you this but these three people are not in the minority here. I can't go anywhere off of my property without encountering at least some of these folks, the township is like Chock-Full-O-Nuts nowadays. The last time my husband and I went out to dinner we were treated to a 20 minute tirade about "goddamned liberal commies" being carried on by a woman at the next table. Is it any wonder that I hesitated to intervene when she finally choked on her food?

Before you of the conservative sites go whining with your little sanctimonious selves about how angry and hostile the damned liberals are you had best take a closer look at how your own kindred conduct themselves and get a clue about why the next door-to-door proselytizer or conservative political campaigner to darken my door will be kicked in the shins and bitch-slapped.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Stupid Rural Nevada Tricks

So okay, my week of mourning the hideous election results here in the Silver State is over. My always amusing local Town Board-istan has trumped itself in the "We Be Backwards Re-Tards" category once again.

From the Las Vegas Review Journal:

The Pahrump Town Board tonight is expected to decide whether English should be declared the town's official language, making it one of dozens of communities across the nation to consider or adopt laws that target illegal immigrants.
The proposed ordinance also would make flying a foreign flag by itself illegal and states that "illegal aliens or undocumented immigrants are not entitled to any benefits" from Pahrump.

M'kay. Now for those of you unfamiliar with this lovely little desert oasis here I should explain a few things.

1. There are no "benefits" to be had in Pahrump. If you are very lucky or very clever you might manage to not get run over or shot here. That's about the best you could expect. On a good day.

2. The town doesn't have any agencies of it's own. The only existing agencies are either state or federal and mandate providing alternate language information.

Now I've never been one to fly flags or post my political preferences in my front yard but since they've gone and declared it illegal....guess my granddaughter will have to tell people her grandma is a jailbird. I'm just trying to decide which nations' flags I want to fly or maybe I'll just run a pair of underpants up the flagpole and let them hash that one out in court.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Now Totally Hopeless in Nevada

This is another one of those times when I HATE being right. I posted my take on how the elections would go here and unfortunately I was correct. Foolishly I kept hoping that a previously undiscovered cache of intelligent, informed voters would surprise me come election day.

Nope, Nevadans really are this stupid. I'm too bummed to discuss it right now but Wonkette did a nice little bit on Nevada, Land of Scum.

I may post more this week or I may just drink a helluva lot of scotch and stay drunk until the next election. Not that anyone 'round these parts would notice, they're mostly drunk themselves.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Ding, Dong the Bitch is Dead

Finally one truly great thing to come out of the entire mess we've made in Iraq. Saddam is gonna swing baby. Kudos to the Iraqi court.

Oh, and screw you Ramsey Clark. The trial was a "travesty"? I wasn't there so I couldn't say one way or the other but hey, what about the travesty your client perpetrated on his own people? I'm old enough to still vividly remember the pictures of the dead laying in the streets where they fell. I can still see one, of a woman still holding her toddler, in my head now more than 20 years later. Some images just don't fade.

Now go home Ramsey, write a book and do some talk shows and know that you have achieved the rank of Internationally Renowned Assmonkey.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Politics With a Gun

I'm one of those strange, nerdy people who will actually dig through archived posts on blogs if I think the writer has something interesting to say. I was doing just that when I dug this up at The Walrus Said. It's an excellent birds-eye-view of US politics from an outsiders point of view for anyone curious enough to take a peek.

Ah, but there is part of the problem. Very few of us are terribly curious about others nor do most of us care even a teeny-weeny bit. We've been taught from the time we began to speak that we were superior in every way to everyone else. That everything our government does, even at it's worst, is far better than any other government, even at their best. The concept of Manifest Destiny didn't die after WWI, it just went undercover.

Luckily for the rest of the world we have turned our "my way or the highway" thinking on ourselves. After all, if you've always been taught that you are inherently morally and ethically superior and that this has been ordained by God himself what happens when that guy down the street believes something that contradicts what you believe? Even worse, what if he has the temerity to live in a way that offends your beliefs? You have a God-given moral RESPONSIBILITY to destroy him.

Any extreme belief is bound to create a backlash which is just as bad if not worse than the original....enter the far, far left. Moonbats as they are less than fondly referred to. Then there are the people not so different from myself who started out wanting to be civilized and peaceful and most of all to just be left alone. Except neither side will leave us alone and if you keep kicking someone eventually they start fighting back.

So now we are all armed and circling each other like the predators we are and in walks G.W. Bush & Co. No, he didn't cause this, he was just the flame that lit the bonfire. One more of history's opportunists seeking to use a situation to his own advantage.

We're a nation that was founded on conquest and enslavement and our entire belief system revolves around this idea of being the best. Everything must be ranked so seeing things as "different but equal" is not an option. Kill or be killed. Be aggressive, intolerant and mean as a junkyard dog because being tolerant or "nice" could be perceived as weakness and you will be eaten.

The good news is that as long as we are ripping each other apart we have less time and energy to bother anyone else.