Laughing in the Face of Impending Doom

Definitely not feeling inspired. I've actually been walking around trying to fight off this "waiting for the other shoe to drop" feeling. Gee, between whatever-the-hell we think we're doing in the Persian Gulf, waiting to play assmonkey-dictator-on-a-rope and see what that sets off, and watching our assmonkey leadership try to act like it's really in control of events....no idea why I'd have this sense of impending doom, must be hormonal.

In the meantime there is possibly the funniest video of the year posted over at Nevada Mojo Rising, assuming you like sex with your politics.

Also a timely New Year's message from Mark Day with his take on resolutions, bestiality, and US foreign policy. Hm, those might actually all be one thing.




If you're feeling all warm & fuzzy and would like to do a good deed, Papadizi, my favorite goatherder is still searching for an American woman. Help him out ladies.

Unintended Consequences

Free DVD for anyone who has a soul they aren't using from the folks at Blasphemy Challenge. A little extreme maybe but hey, backlashes usually are. All you fundies and evangelicals can pat yourselves on the back for a job well done, see what you've started?



Ok, this guy seeking to exchange his soul for a free DVD is probably not any more exciting than the other video makers but I think he's kind of special because I gave birth to him. Personal bias. Willz...make your bed, love Your Mama.

Catching More Flies With Honey

I had commented at several other blogs recently that in my insane li'l pea-brain I saw some connection between the recent illegal immigrant furor, the recent large scale raids on major employers, and the administration's need for more troops. I did try to temper my comments in the interest of not appearing a complete paranoid loon.

Lo and behold, this morning profmarcus tipped us off to this news article, Military considers recruiting foreigners. Gee golly whillikers, who'da thunk.

The proposal to induct more noncitizens, which is still largely on the drawingboard, has to clear a number of hurdles. So far, the Pentagon has been quiet about specifics -- including who would be eligible to join, where the recruiting stations would be, and what the minimum standards might involve, including
English proficiency. In the meantime, the Pentagon and immigration authorities have expanded a program that accelerates citizenship for legal residents who volunteer for the military.
And since Sept. 11, 2001, the number of immigrants in uniform who have become US citizens has increased from 750 in 2001 to almost 4,600 last year, according to military statistics.

Already, the Army and the Immigration and Customs Enforcement division of the Department of Homeland Security have "made it easier for green-card holders who do enlist to get their citizenship," Hilferty said.
Other Army officials, who asked not to be identified, said personnel officials are working with Congress and other parts of the government to test the feasibility of going beyond US borders to recruit soldiers and Marines.
Currently, Pentagon policy stipulates that only immigrants legally residing in the United States are eligible to enlist. There are currently about 30,000 noncitizens who serve in the US armed forces, making up about 2 percent of the active-duty force, according to statistics from the military and the Council on Foreign Relations. About 100 noncitizens have died in Iraq and Afghanistan.
A recent change in US law, however, gave the Pentagon authority to bring immigrants to the United States if it determines it is vital to national security. So far, the Pentagon has not taken advantage of it, but the calls are growing to take use the new authority.
Indeed, some top military thinkers believe the United States should go as far as targeting foreigners in their native countries.

Brilliant, simply brilliant. This was obviously predictable as evidenced by the fact that I myself, an ordinary and simple citizen with no special access to information beyond that of any other citizen was able to figger this one out.

I'm going to go out on a limb here.

Let's run with this strategy. Within it lies the solution to our quagmire in Iraq. We've been going at this thing all wrong while the answer lurked beneath our noses.

We've been focusing our efforts on training Iraqi soldiers when all along we should have been recruiting them. Rather than teach them our tribal strategies only to have them decide to use them for their tribes' goals which are often in direct opposition to our own let's just offer free memberships.

Taking into account our administrations recruitment goals and the population of able bodied young men in Iraq one would have to estimate that within a few short years of such an intensely directed recruitment drive there would be no more than a handful of Iraqis left to wage an insurgency. They'd all be Americans.

Naturally we would have to plan for the likely secession movement that would follow, should probably map out a plan for peaceful secession before we even begin. Save ourselves a headache.

Insane? Definitely, but is it really any more insane than what we've already been doing?

A Very Pahrumpian Christmas Morning

My Christmas Wish List

If I believed in Santa and I lived in my perfect little bubble world.

1. The end of all religion, it would stop most of the killing at least long enough for us to figure out a new reason to kill each other.
2. Open borders. Let people vote with their feet. Would also create more interesting new communities not to mention dining opportunities.
3. People to stop idolizing stupid people for stupid reasons. Madonna gets diarrhhea too. Start a fan club for a scientist, they're more likely to do something that actually benefits all of us and they are more cost effective, they don't require botox.
4. Get some reality about our priorities. A big truck with larger tires will not make your penis larger and a big flashy diamond will not make your breasts larger. Neither will make you smarter or more relevant to the universe.
5. Reinstitute slavery for just one day so I can own Debbie Schlussel. I promise to release her with only a slightly bruised ego tomorrow. Honest.

Feliz Navidad from Pah-rum-pa-pum-ump.

Apocalypse Now

While I'm on a roll with being pissed off and tired of being pissed on I have to point you to a lady even more angry than I am and with good reason. Neurotic Iraqi Wife will break your heart if you have one.

Be a sport and go over and pay her a visit, it's a few minutes of your time for someone who is fighting for her life. Don't give me any shit about it being "just one more Iraqi sob story" unless you'd like me to personally come kick your ass unless you really want to find out how well a pacifist can kick ass when pushed.

Maybe you could even give some serious thought to having some serious thoughts. It wouldn't kill us to consider putting aside our partisan positions to think about even unconventional things we might do to at least alleviate some of the apocalypse that we've unleashed.

Yes, I said apocalypse because for anyone trying to survive there that is exactly what it is. Keep in mind that karma can be a real bitch.

Stupid, Greedy Fucks

I've been thinking about Lloyd Blankfein, CEO of Goldman Sachs and his $53.4 million dollar Christmas bonus for two days.

Yes boys and girls, that's 53.4 million. For one man who essentially does nothing but manage people who manage other people who move money around. That's it, he doesn't save lives, doesn't invent or produce anything, does not in fact contribute one single thing that could unarguably be held up as being of any real benefit to the world in general but he is rewarded in sums that would have made the pharaohs blush.

I like money as much as the next person does, I do believe hard work and innovation deserve to be rewarded, I understand that "everyone having the same" is not realistic nor will it ever produce great results, there have to be incentives for achievement.

I also believe there have to be some fucking limits. We passed those limits long ago here in the USA. We fiddled while much of the world starved and reaped more profits from their misery. Now we are reaping the results of our operating philosophy, we've turned it on ourselves.

We have working Americans living in cars and vans because they don't make enough money working their minimum wage jobs to pay rent in the cities they work in. Heaven help them if they get sick because medical care is something they can only dream about. We have entire schools filled with American born children who've never even considered the idea of going on to college, they've learned very early in life to have no dreams, it only gets you hurt. We have god-only-knows how many Americans who will live their entire lives never knowing the security of having their own home.

It's easy to just call them lazy or stupid isn't it? Absolves us of any responsibility, why should we have to give up any of our hard earned money or benefits for people who were too lazy or stupid to get their own.

I'll tell you why. Because you got where you are on their backs. You enjoy the lives you have because of them. They clean your houses, mow your lawns, babysit your offspring, wash your clothes, and work at all the little jobs that you need to keep your wheels oiled. They package your food, wait on you in stores and clean the bathrooms you piss in. Think about it the next time you feel like whining about losers wanting your money you puking fucks.

I leave you with Jamie Kilstein, enjoy.

My Massively Mediocre Moment

Buckdog posted a link to this WSJ Opinion piece and, being massively mediocre and all, I couldn't resist running with it.

The blogs are not as significant as their self-endeared curators would like to think. Journalism requires journalists, who are at least fitfully confronting the digital age. The bloggers, for their part, produce minimal reportage. Instead, they ride along with the MSM like remora fish on the bellies of sharks, picking at the scraps.

I don't recall when I, or any other blogger for that matter, declared ourselves "journalists". We aren't reporters, we are commentators, you know, individuals with opinions about the scraps the reporters toss us. Rather than remora fish try thinking of us as coyotes, here to pick the meat from your dead, white bones.

I don't personally harbor many delusions about my own mythical significance, more to the point would be yours.

A tone of careless informality prevails; posts oscillate between the uselessly brief and the uselessly logorrheic; complexity and complication are eschewed; the humor is cringe-making, with irony present only in its conspicuous absence; arguments are solipsistic; writers traffic more in pronouncement than persuasion . . .

Most of us are carelessly informal as you say, we are bloggers, not journalists...see above for explanation. The remainder of your complaints can only make me laugh, same could be said of much of the "legitimate" media.

The petty interpolitical feuding mainly points out that someone is a liar or an idiot or both.

Some people are, so exactly what is your point? Despite your loquacious, logorrheic, and more than a little solipsistic opinion, I have to wonder what percentage of your brain is firing on all cylinders. Nice form, big holes in your substance.

Nobody wants to be an imbecile. Part of it, I think, is that everyone likes shows and entertainments. Mobs are exciting. People also like validation of what they already believe; the Internet, like all free markets, has a way of gratifying the mediocrity of the masses.

I doubt most of the bloggers would even aspire to being imbeciles of greater renown than the ones we've managed to elect or enshrine as celebrities. That would entail entirely too much effort dear.

I would also have serious doubts about even the most well known blogs being as widely followed as nearly any news cast on any news network so that would beg the question: exactly who is gratifying the mediocrity of the masses?

This is of course simply my own massively mediocre opinion due to the fact that I am in no way nearly as important and enlightened as yourself or your brethren and self-appointed guardians of the truth as you see it.

You have a nice day Mr. Rago and feel free to kiss my ass

Courtesy Link

For anyone hoping I was going to talk about our state scandal-of-the-day, Miss Nevada and the case of the hot pics, sorry, I'm not. Our last Miss Nevada was pro-nuclear dump site so this one getting raunchy for the camera just doesn't excite me much. Just to help out here is the link to them for those of you with inquiring minds.

Nobody Did it Better

Nothing against the remakes, who wouldn't want to try, but Eartha nailed it. Merry christmas.

I Need a New Drug

Maybe I just need a new supplier. Yesterday was possibly the worst performance ever by every major news outlet in the US. I hate to do it but I have to quote Dr. Phil and ask you "what the hell were you thinking??".

Yeah you CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX...all of you. Hey retards...there's a war going on, no wait, make that two wars that we are directly involved in, bodies, bodies, everywhere and insane quotes from politicians and their lackeys dropping like dust bunnies in a Nevada windstorm. That isn't even counting the fun and games going on in places we haven't even set foot in like say...Darfur or Nigeria or hey, just o'er our border down Mexico way. Toss in our ongoing domestic insanity like the spiraling death count in Washington D.C. and oh, I dunno, stuff like the spread of methamphetamine abuse, millions of citizens with no health care, and our ever so popular campaign to stop hating each other long enough to band together, united in our hatred of Mexicans and one would think that you'd have no dearth of informative news to report.

Apparently one would have been mistaken. The hours long commentary and rehash about three lost hikers was bad enough. Yes, it's news...for a few minutes but please, we are talking about three people who decided of their own free will to go hiking up a mountain just days prior to what was expected to be the storm of a decade. I did and do hope they are found, regardless of circumstances I do not wish harm to anyone or think anyone deserves to die alone and under horrible circumstances. My heart especially goes out to their families and friends and I'm not making light of it or dismissing it.

What I am saying is the media needs to get a little perspective. Rehashing this tragedy all week long and yesterday in particular ad infinitum is not going to help nor is it doing your job which, at least theoretically, is supposed to be to inform the public. It's also highly offensive and disrespectful of the thousands of people who have died and are still dying either in what they honestly believe or did honestly believe was honorable service to their country. It is disrespectful to the hundreds of people who die senselessly every day in this country for no reason other than they lack money for decent medical care or because they happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Easy enough to do here in the good old US of A because a violent lot we are.

So that's it media people, every time you harp endlessly over only certain tragedies, elevating the victims almost to the point of deification, you diminish everyone else. Intentional or not you send the message "these people are more important than the rest of you". You do this on a regular basis, when a policeman is killed, when a young suburban mother is brutally murdered, when a pillar of some community becomes a victim, knock it off. True, every now and then you complain about racism, classism, and our national obsession with idolizing not-terribly-bright people with exceedingly hot booties but face it guys, you are the ones feeding the fires.

Which brings us to yesterday's even more totally disgusting news fiasco, Der Trumper and the Beauty Queen. A three minute blurb would have been amusing, hours and hours of air time for these dimwits was enough to push sane people to the verge of suicide.

Take a man who is famous for nothing better than making loads of money exploiting the tendency of some folks to seek ever more outrageous ways to display their wealth and in fact, leads the pack in his ability to take tacky and ostentatious to new heights and toss in an attractive young woman who has been encouraged to develop an overinflated sense of her own importance and BINGO, huge news story. Yes Donald, we know she is a "special person" per your own statement made on national television not long ago re: how to be successful, you stated the first and most important thing was to "be born to the right parents". This young lady obviously was, she not only inherited wonderful looks but also could afford the best dental care. Such wisdom from a man with a mouth reminiscent of an overactive rectal sphincter.

Sorry newspeople, twenty-year-olds with too much fame and money partying and behaving foolishly is not news, even if they happen to be bootylicious. Definitely not hours and hours of news.

I understand I may very well be in the minority here, the majority may indeed prefer this type of news coverage. There may be 50 million Americans who would appreciate 8 hour discussions of a boil removed from some pop star's ass. In this age of niche markets I'm simply asking if it isn't possible someone could provide a cable news program for the minority of us who would prefer serious in-depth coverage of issues we actually care about?

C'mon guys, I'm jones'n here, hook me up.

So Where is the Justice Here?

Nevada makes national news once again, go Nevada. This week for a brawl in a Las Vegas courtroom that sent four bailiffs to the hospital for treatment.

Mr. Geoffrey Wells, 36 was miffed, he wasn't getting his way in a child custody dispute between he and his ex-wife. Judge Cheryl Moss wasn't feeling so sympathetic towards him after the last time he came before her demanding his right to custody of the couples' three sons. That time she was willing to overlook his violent temper and his cache of easily accessible firearms. After all, said Moss at that time, "I don't see a problem with the gun issues as long as, I guess, they are trained as a military family. They grow up like that. It's a unique situation."

Sure was a unique situation.

"All three (of her sons) were home alone after their father (Geoffrey Wells) went to work at 6 a.m.," Maria Wells said. "He (the 10-year-old) said they were told to do their chores and he (Geoffrey Wells) left.
Syber was cleaning the kitchen when he turned to my 10-year-old and said 'I've had enough of this, I'm going to kill myself.' "

Maria Wells said her 10-year-old son says Syber began giving him and his 8-year-old brother his games, toys and belongings and then went to the home's master bedroom. She said the 10-year-old followed him in and pleaded with Syber "not to do it."

She said her 10-year-old told her Syber turned to him and said, "The reason I'm doing this is so you can be safe and you don't ever have to see Dad again."

The 10-year-old told her Syber kicked him out of the room and minutes later he heard gunshots.

Quote from Judge Moss per the Las Vegas Review Journal:

'I'm not happy about what happened here in the courtroom,' Moss said in comments reported Friday by the Las Vegas Review-Journal. 'In my six years on the bench, I've never had this happen.'

Dang girlfriend, guess you were just lucky up till now. I can only hazard a guess at how many more lives you can ruin if you're allowed another 6 years on the bench to make boneheaded decisions.

Mr. Wells granted an interview to KVBC-Las Vegas after his courtroom temper tantrum: They asked Wells if he thinks he has an anger management problem.

"No more than anyone else. I'm not afraid to say what I think and I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is." Wells also maintains the bailiffs didn't stop him and he in fact quit fighting of his own volition. "Believe me, it's not because they subdued me, it's cause I stopped. If I wanted to I could have went right through them."

Ayuh there Geoffrey, how many of us don't keep loaded, unsecured firearms laying about around unsupervised children and how many of us have never physically assaulted our husbands, wives, children or officers of the court?

Geoffrey you really are a prize assclown but you are only one of many we have running around loose hereabouts. You aren't even especially unique, hell, I could even point to your soul-brother next door. The Grand Assmonkey Prize goes to Judge Cheryl Moss who had every clue a sane person would have needed to know that Mr. Wells was not fit to own a dog much less have custody of young children. I've checked your biography dear, you have the credentials, you have the education, unfortunately you lacked the one thing that seems to be lacking in far too many people these days, an ounce of common sense.

Wells is going to "pay" in our legal system now, what about you Judge Moss? A 12 year old child is dead because you chose to overlook the evidence. A 10 year old and an 8 year old will never look at anything the same, will never trust this glorious system we have devised. A mother will never see her child grow into a man and now she knows that not only is it a terrible thing when you've married the wrong man but you can't expect any help or justice from the very system that is supposed to help people like her escape from this kind of abuse.

Can we at least get a mea culpa?

Weekly Roundup #4: Pahrump Farts

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas here in the desert. I don't think Santa Claus is coming to town but even better, MAPA is. Seems recent actions taken by our beloved Town Board-iban regarding everything from English Only to Rules for Flag Flying have stirred up a backlash that the good, gun-toting, white folks were not expecting. Lo siento baby.

Naturally the local gentry have already stated their intent to show up at the next board meeting on Jan 9th armed and ready to protect their way of life. I wasn't aware of anyone attempting to threaten the right to be an assmonkey but perhaps I'm just out of the loop. Hell, looking at our political leaders I assumed we were celebrating our right to be assmonkeys.

State Sen. Bob Beers thinks he has the answer to violence in our schools: arm the teachers. Hey, that'll teach 'em....if our teachers had been armed when this 9 year old pulled his stunt at a Pahrump Elementary school they could have shot him. Gee, I dunno, I'm kind of leaning towards an ordinance preventing incredibly stupid, violent people from raising children. Not sure how one could do that but I have faith the geniuses on our board can figger one out.

Now for any of you out there who think Nevadans have no limits when it comes to our guns, have to tell you that even we draw the line somewhere. I ran down to the local Wal-Mart to take this picture just for you since seeing is believing. So next time ya'll go to the Hair Salon at Wal-Mart to freshen up that mullet (stop laughing, you know you want to) be sure to check your shotgun at the door. Ask the Greeter to hold Bessie fer ya, ok?

I'm a Racist

Yep, no doubt about it, I am, I am. Now I've suspected this about myself for many years but mostly I lived in non-white areas or at least in very ethnically mixed areas so it was easy to avoid the white folks. Besides, I've always had some white friends so I could ignore the issue.

A bit over three years of living here in white-bread, cracker-town, Nevada and I have to face it. I don't like most of us. Yes, I said us because I am white. As white as the sheets some of ya'll like to wear on your heads, blue eyes and all.

My first you-have-to-face-this-issue moment was when one of my children married a white person. Now all my children are white too so you would think this would not be an issue. It is. I've never said a word about it, I've left it completely alone, I adore my little white grandbaby...but...it still bothers me. I can't trust and I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for my white in-law to pull some cracker tricks. That's how deep it goes.

When I went to vote here in Pahrumpistan I felt overwhelmed. I was surrounded by a sea of whiteness, I kept waiting for them to burst out with a chorus of "white power". I was literally sweating waiting to vote and get out of there before I had a complete panic attack.

I wanted to go to the Town Board meeting where Mr. Ding-Dong Miraglia was trying to push through the new "charge to illegals to live here" ordinance (which did not pass, Featheriver has the details) but I was afraid to go. I was afraid to be surrounded by gun-toting crackers. Turned out the meeting was packed with Hispanic people, I wish I had known, I'd have gone.

So there it is, I'm afraid of my "own kind". I don't trust you, especially not in large groups. When I see a group of you I can only believe you are discussing who to scalp next. Who to destroy in the name of preserving your "traditional values". Which values are those? The ones about killing people who have something you want to take? The ones about non-whites being thieves who just want to rob you or take your jobs? Exactly which freaking values are you trying to protect, please tell me because I have no idea. The only thing I see us being "traditionally" really good at is kicking the crap out of everyone who isn't us and smacking them back down if they have the nerve to complain.

I sincerely hope that someday we will not be the majority. I hope NO ONE gets to be a majority. I hope people just have to learn to deal with each other as individuals and fucking get over the whole gotta "protect my culture" bullshit. It is bullshit. You're human. Deal with it.

Revenge is Sweet, My Ass

What do you do when the world shits in your face one more time? I've had a few days to think that one over. Believe me this latest incident is far from the first or even the first of it's kind. I'm experiencing the joy of reliving all the old hurts in my dreams now, waking up in the middle of the night remembering incidents from years past. Makes me wonder if senility might not be a blessing.

Revenge quite naturally is usually one of the first things that comes to mind. Revenge is highly overrated. We hear it all the time, make people "pay" for their crimes, seek "justice". There's another stupid word, justice. What the hell makes people think there is "justice" in a world where people die because they happen to be born in the wrong place or believe the wrong things or be unlucky enough to be born to the wrong parents?

The trouble with revenge is it can't undo what was done, can't "make it right", can't "fix" anything. The truth is that most of the time the perpetrator has already paid. Chances are they've been paying their entire life. They probably never thought it all out, they just knew they were angry and they hated. It's a great big ball of hate that makes you think of how much you would like to slap the smug smiles off of every face you see and the world is filled with millions of people who carry it around in their chests. Then you wonder why such terrible things are done but you never, ever stop to think it's because of you.

I blame all of you. Me too, we did it. We just keep it going, always looking for revenge, tit for tat. We keep thinking if we lock enough people up we'll "put a stop to this nonsense". Bullshit, we're feeding the fire. We've been "punishing" people in ever increasing numbers for years and the world is less safe than it ever was. Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is a clear sign of insanity. We're insane.

At least 2,000 years of known history and we still haven't learned a fucking thing, we still don't have the goddamned sense to treat each other well, to realize that treating each other badly is guaranteed to produce bad results.

Nothing to be done except keep trying to change the world.

Need to Catch My Breath

There were several things I wanted to comment on today but you know the saying, the best laid plans....

Got a call from one of my children and something has happened that's left me feeling a bit shell shocked. They are ok, or as ok as anyone could be expected to be but I'm pretty certain they and I have not even really begun to fully digest the matter. I'll just say it's one of those things that we'll all be living with for years to come.

I hope to be coherent enough to post soon, wether in hours or a day or two but I thought I'd at least say something in the event I go kee-rash and bury my head under a pillow for a week. This too shall pass. Cheers.

Consider This

Interesting posts and discussion going on over at Eteraz.org:States of Islam especially here and here regarding Iraq, divisions within the Democratic party regarding Iraq and foreign policy in general, etc.

So okay, interesting to me, maybe not to you. If you are not interested in what we are or will be doing in the Middle East and you are not interested in either politics, policy or human rights...it would bore you to tears. If you are interested then pay him a visit if you haven't already.

The Fooking News

With all the controversy over "designer" news I simply could not resist searching out new and different news sources.

I mean really, if the Wingnuts can have their Fox Network and CNN now wants to run 2 hour long specials featuring Lou "Let's eat the Mexicans" Dobbs at inoppurtune times (like when there isn't anything good on SciFi or the History Channel), what's a girl to do?

I choose Circus Fantasticus

Update to An American Jihad on Childhood

Apparently Rabbi Elazar Bogomilsky does not want the trees to come down, he wants an 8-foot menorah displayed beside the largest tree.

I'm okay with that. I hope he's ok with the fact that once this is done Sea-Tac will also be required to display a crucifix? I'm not certain what symbol Muslims will want displayed but that will need to be displayed as well as a symbol for Kwanzaa, Buddhists, Confucians, don't forget Pagans and Wiccans, Satanists......I'm sure there are more I'm forgetting here. This will of course leave them open for a lawsuit from the Atheists some of whom will undoubtedly feel offended by all of the other symbols.

Oh dear, the lobbies could get quite crowded at Sea-Tac.

Isn't it grand that in our nitpicking attempts to celebrate our diversity and be politically correct we are succeeding only in creating a vast, gray, cultureless police state?

An American Jihad on Childhood

Yup, we've done it, gone and declared our very own Jihad-American Style on the joys of childhood. Props for being the stupidest of stupid assmonkeys to have ever walked the earth.

First I give you the Jewish rabbi in Seattle who has single-handedly tackled that pillar of the Christian propaganda machine, Seattle's Sea-Tac airport and WON. (STFU and stop laughing Christian-Right, I'm coming after you in a minute). Congratulations rabbi, you've banished the vile and offensive Christmas tree, I can only imagine how proud of yourself you must feel.

Now how you ever figured out that the Christmas tree was indeed a religious symbol I'll never know. It's been a carefully guarded secret for 2000 years that Joseph and Mary decorated the very first tree on the eve of Jesus' birth. I know that history tells us the ancient pagan tribes celebrated it as a symbol of life even while sacrificing lives upon it but that was just a ruse concocted by Christians to trick you.

Never mind that the celebration of Christmas itself is no longer even the private domain of Christians but has become so entrenched in American tradition that it is now also a celebration of friends and family and GIVING much celebrated by many non-religious people as well. The one time of the year when most of us put down our battle-axes and agendas and celebrate as one people. Rich ones, poor ones, white, brown, and black, caucasian and asian, religious and secular, Republican and Democrat, for one single day we share some common ground.

For this one holiday season most of us give, gifts both for our loved ones and for strangers we will never meet, food, money, basic necessities that many may lack much of the year, all of this we give at Christmas and we give it to both Christians and non-Christians alike because for this one holiday, it does not matter. We may all resume our regular selfish and self-absorbed ways on December 26th but just for the brief season leading up to Christmas we give and those of us who are lucky give thanks that we are able to give, take one moment to appreciate our good fortune and experience one tiny moment of humility.

Now enter you Mr. Rabbi, this offends you so we must take down this symbol of giving because in your twisted little mind you have decided it represents Christianity to the detriment of Judaism. Never mind that small children throughout the country from nearly every walk of life look forward every year to this symbol of Christmas itself. Not Christianity, not politics, not anti-anyone, but Christmas, the celebration of family, friends, peace, giving, and most of all joy. Joy. There's a word I'm guessing you know little about.

What about us? Are we going to continue bending over for every single person who decides they don't like something, that it offends them? How about if I say this rabbi offends me? Will we have him removed from public? A lot of things offend me, I don't run around threatening to sue everyone because they display something I do not like.

Not content to shame small children for their love of Christmas trees we feel compelled to destroy their books and movies. Woe be unto the child who admits to loving Harry Potter. The Christian-Right has issued their judgement and it is final: Harry Potter promotes witchcraft and DEVIL WORSHIP! Oh my. Combine this with a movie like Happy Feet which we are being told is not only an environmentalist inspired propaganda film but also promotes gayness and we have a sure-fire recipe for a generation of anti-Semitic, Greenpeace belonging, voodoo practicing, gay devil-worshippers. So we are being told anyway.

Hey, while we're on a roll let's get rid of that darned Cinderella, clearly a symbol of classist elitism and Bambi too, it's plain to see he's a product of the anti-gun lobby propaganda machine.

When we finally get done discrediting and dismantling every single cherished icon of American childhood and have succeeded in limiting our young to reading the backs of cereal boxes and playing with gravel maybe we can stop and consider pulling our heads out of our asses.

Weekly Roundup #3: Pahrump Farts

Say what you will about the local gentry, they have an amazing talent for choosing their battles. Much preoccupation this week with Nevada's newly voter-approved smoking law.

No longer will the good citizens of Pahrump be allowed to light up at the two-fer-one buffet or smoke that cigarette while peacefully plugging nickels into the slot machines down at the convenience store.

Or can they. Apparently there is some dispute as to the "constitutionality" of said law therefore we have a 15-day stay of execution while it is reviewed by legal authorities. Once again we are leading the nation in passing laws we will be unable or unwilling to enforce. This did however halt the "Great Pahrumpian Smokeout" movement and allow our good sheriff to focus on weightier matters rather than spending his days at Quik-E-Mart issuing citations to cigarette-wielding scofflaws.

Featheriver over at Nye--Gateway discusses our upcoming Dec 12 Town Board meeting at which Mr. Miraglia, of our "English Only and US Flag Only" ordinance fame, has a brand-spanking new ordinance he will be putting on the table. Seems we have now figgered out how to profit from the "illegal immigration" issue.....the town of Pahrump will consider having "illegals" register themselves and charge them $200 a head to live here. Fancy that.

For any gun enthusiasts out there, said meeting is guaranteed to bring a fine group of citizens displaying a plethora of firearms from the newest to the antique, enough to outshine any gun show. Ya'll come down now, ya hear.

Speaking of weightier matters: I suppose failure by emergency response personnel to treat a gunshot victim based on their professional assessment that "he'll be dead in 45 minutes anyway" might qualify. Let that be a lesson to all of us, do not be a smoker, be overweight, be elderly, or be or do anything which might possibly be judged as making you ineligible for treatment, you might just be left to die.

The sheriff's deputies saw it in a different light. Sheriff's report here:

TWO PAHRUMP VALLEY FIRE EMS WORKERS ARRESTED FOR FAILING TO TREAT SUICIDE VICTIM

Please read it. Please. I know we've become inured to nearly every imaginable atrocity in the world, can we please draw a line in the sand here, don't let this one slide with no fanfare.

Thank you to the folks who actually take the time to read my ramblings, till later, ya'll come back now.

A Look Back: February 2003

I've never been a big fan of Senator Robert Byrd, suffice to say on many issues we do not share a common vision or worldview but I was cleaning up old bookmarks which I seem to collect like a dryer collects lint and I ran across this speech he made regarding Iraq back in 2003.

I don't even recall seeing it before but surely I must have because there it was. Maybe I didn't realize then how relevant it might seem in retrospect or maybe at some level I did because for some odd reason I saved it.

Worth a read if you have a couple of minutes to spare.

Reckless Administration May Reap Disastrous Consequences
by US Senator Robert ByrdSenate Floor Speech - Wednesday, February 12, 2003

Lobbing My Ball at King George

Here it is, the Bush spin on the ISG report, word for word official transcript. Read it yourself and draw your own conclusions. This is mine.

That's it folks. Thanks for taking the time to put together these cute little recommendations but I am the boss of you and I am never wrong and I will continue doing whatever in the hell I want to do and there is nothing you can do about it. Fuck you very much.

Exactly what does this man have to do to convince us that he is mentally unstable? Show up for a press conference buck-nekkid and drunk as a skunk? Wait for him to blow up half of the world and then say "oh my, we didn't realize it was so serious". Personally, I would not feel a great sense of gratification in being proved right here. Just this one time could we choose to act and not wait to react?

I'm not advocating a revolution here people, simply asking America to stand up and say enough of this nonsense and bring our people home.

We are not stabilizing Iraq nor are we going to. We are not stopping or even limiting the violence. Our troops were never given what was needed to "accomplish the mission", neither the numbers or equipment and it's far too late now. We are not going to "negotiate" with Iran or Syria and in fact the Iraqi government is already doing so on their own. The fact that our talking heads continue debating the issue of wether or not we should engage with them merely highlights the fact that we have lost all sense of reality, the matter has been taken out of our hands. We've lost soldiers to kidnapping and been ordered to abandon our search for them by the Iraqi government itself. What part of "this is not within our control" are we not getting? When in all of our history as a nation have we ever abandoned a soldier on the orders of a foreign government?

Is anyone awake out there? The ball is in our court, play or pay.

The Conspiracy Against Bill O'Reilly

Yes Billy-goat there is a HUGE conspiracy. Bigger than even your paranoid little pea-brain could conceive of. Not only is the Far-Left involved but, get this, the Moderate-Left and in some cases...even the Moderate-Right. Yes, Virginia, there is such a thing, pretty sure they are currently on the endangered species list but they are out there. It goes without saying that the legendary "swing voters" are in on this too.

We spend untold hours every day brain-storming for new ways to discredit you because obviously we have no more important or weighty issues to occupy our time. I mean seriously, WHO CARES about Iraq, the spread of AIDS, the faltering middle-class, or education when there is the threat of BILL O'REILLY to be dealt with. We all fully comprehend the fact that all these other trivial issues would be resolved if we focus on the critical mission....TAKING YOU DOWN. We will not be distracted from our mission and are fully committed to staying the course. We have even developed our own bi-partisan study groups. Really.

It's only a matter of time, your days are numbered and once we have become the architects of your demise the field will be cleared to pursue other targets. Santa Claus, the Bible, Jesus, and the Easter Bunny...none will be safe.

We are working on proposed legislation as I write. With you out of the way we will be free to implement laws requiring all marriages consist of at least one gay partner, no longer will we tolerate those boring heterosexual marriages (some exceptions will be granted for marriages involving three or more persons). Abortions will be mandatory and assigned in accordance with all Affirmative Action guidelines. Christmas will be abolished and replaced with a National Day of Organics, to be celebrated with a festive, traditional meal of organically grown granola garnished with seaweed (oatmeal optional for ethnic Scots). Hunting will become a thing of the past save for special permits to hunt on government sponsored preserves which will be established for Old White Men and Evangelical Christians. All-natural, environmentally-safe ammunition will be provided.

This is only the beginning Billy-goat, the world as you know it will cease to exist and all because of you.

Getting a Clue About Iraq

Interesting post at The Omnipotent Poobah about restoring Saddam to power in Iraq. I started to comment there but what I wanted to say was running a bit long for a comment so I decided to comment here.

I don't know if he is serious or being satirical to make a very good point but in either case he does highlight something that I've always believed to be at the heart of the issue: nations always end up with exactly the leadership they deserve, more importantly require to sustain themselves and some level of order.

Now I do firmly believe Saddam is a done ducky, right as the Poobah may be that there were excellent reasons to leave him in charge there is no hope whatsoever of being able to reinstate him nor would I advocate even attempting to do so, particularly after he has already been judged and sentenced by his own people. To do so would be the equivalent of spitting in the face of every Iraqi who has managed to stay alive up to this point. Methinks we've spit in their faces enough and that has to stop.

I would add the simple truth that the majority of the Iraqi people have clearly expressed their desire for the US to leave. I've heard all the arguments, this would open the door for Iran to take charge, this would result in an escalation of violence, this would open the door for more terrorist cells to gain footholds. Newsflash: we've already done all of the above. We opened Pandora's Box and we are incapable of closing it. Any or all of the above are likely to continue into the foreseeable future and continuing our presence in the region IS NOT GOING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE. It might in fact prolong the misery.

None of our elected officials, wether democrat or republican, want to be the first to say this. They know full well that there will be god-only-knows what horrific repercussions when we leave and not one of them wants to be the one left holding the bag when the American public screams "this was YOUR fault, you told us to pull out". That's certain death to any political career.

So I'm going to address the American people. Stop being retarded. Put down your video game controller or your bible or whatever it is that is distracting you for one moment and pay attention. Bad things are going to happen anyway, there is no possibility at this point that this can be avoided. Staying in Iraq is not going to prevent that, most likely staying will increase the "collateral damage". We will not be able to establish a "stable democracy" in Iraq, not if we stay 100 years. Iraq is not ready for democracy and they will never become ready while being occupied by foreign troops or while being ruled by any government installed and supported by the US. It ain't happening, deal with it.

We need to get the hell out YESTERDAY and deal with the consequences of our actions as they arise. There is no other option, if you seriously believe there is that would make you hopelessly retarded and there is NO HOPE for you.

That brings me to the issue that troubles me even more than Iraq (yes, that is possible, barely, but possible).

Exactly how is it we came to elect this congress and this administration? Could it be that we have become so incapable of finding just and amicable means of resolving our own differences and so incapable of tolerating each others' rights to live as we choose that we took the low road and elected someone who was more than willing to impose his own values and worldview on the rest of us? Have we become so ignorant and unwilling to take responsibility for making informed choices that we require someone willing to curtail our civil liberties in the interest of "making us safer" and to please fringe groups who have decided we must all live as THEY see fit?

Do we now require petty tyrants to curtail our freedoms because we have become incapable of living peaceably with our differences? I look around my own community and I have to wonder if this is indeed the case. If it is, then the uncomfortable truth is that we will deserve exactly what we get.

The Fruitcake Lady

Tribute to the Fruitcake Lady. Just because I liked her and I'd really rather not talk about John Bolton.

Weekly Roundup #2: Pahrump Farts

'Twas the week of Thanksgiving and all through Pahrump not a gunshot was fired nor any bodies found dumped;
The shotguns were slung by the front door with care, in hopes that the Minutemen soon would be there;
The residents stayed tucked all snug in their sheds while visions of a whites-only township danced in their small heads.

Calm before the storm. Incoming town board-elect promise to "repeal or rewrite" our "English Only and US Flag Only" ordinance, wether due to bad publicity, moral outrage, or healthy fear of a humongous lawsuit one could not say but in any event this is a good thing.

The Bards of Pahrump have their own plans though:

An expression of outrage that our public library should dare to possess SPANISH LANGUAGE books. Seems the, and I quote, "real liberal librarian" (as opposed to what, a "fake liberal librarian"?), has the audacity to defy our town's good White-Christian-English-Only-ness and serve ALL of the public. Looking for bookies taking bets on how long till our library is vandalized.

Perhaps the library will be spared if our good citizens are too preoccupied with trying to kill the folks from the ACLU, I give you the thread in it's entirety:

BIG BULLETS AGAINST ARROGANCE

I've heard many people lately espousing angry words against the ACLU. It appears that the ACLU will step to the plate for anything that is anti-Western, or un-American. These same persons suggest "taking out" the ACLU by brute force since they equate the ACLU as being domestic traitors. Would these actions be considered in line with the words of Thomas Jefferson or any one of the Founding Fathers? And what of the punsihment of those doing such an act? The worst they could receive would be a death sentence in Carson City. Remember, the ACLU are LAWYERS and the COURTS will always protect their own with great zeal, so they'll seek the greatest punishment possible. But, so what? No one here gets out alive anyway, and maybe those daring souls will receive a just reward in Heaven. Just a thought... Something to think about.

The worst they could receive would be a death sentence in Carson City. But after the 1st one the rest are free. So justice will be served if you "take out" as many as you can.

were are all the people behind you?May 3 if that many.If you realy want to do it,you have to get men you can trust.Mike you didn't know me so how can we start it.

Could be just talk but seems like I heard somewhere that advocating to incite violence was illegal? Sheriff DeMeo may have his hands full what with insane manufactured home salesmen and all so I figured I'd let the legal experts at the Nevada ACLU decide, surely not the first time they've encountered this.

So I spring to my car, to my dogs give a whistle, and away we'll all fly like the down of a thistle.

Open Letter to George Will

Dear Asshat aka George Will,

You quoted some of the conversation between Senator-elect Jim Webb and President Bush in your little rant about what you considered Mr. Webb's "boorish" behaviour but you left part of it out, let me refresh your memory.

When Bush asked Webb, whose son is a Marine in Iraq, “How’s your boy?” Webb replied, “I’d like to get them (sic) out of Iraq, Mr. President.”

“I didn’t ask you that, I asked how he’s doing,” Bush retorted

Webb replied, “That’s between me and my boy, Mr. President.”

Now I understand that being a diehard wingnut and all you're a little slow so I'm going to break it down for you. As the mother of two children who have served in our military, if the person who was trying to kill MY child for no good reason other than to save face and preserve his "legacy" had the audacity (not to mention poor taste) to ask me how my child was, he'd have been damned fortunate if I did not just spit in his face. See, you just don't go around trying to kill folks' offspring and then smirkingly inquire as to their state of well-being, unless of course, you happen to be a psychopathic fugtard.

Respect for the presidency? It's only as worthy of respect as the person who happens who hold the office which today would make it somewhat less than the gentleman who mucks out porta-potties who at least does a public service and an honest days work.

Your attack on Mr. Webb's use of the words "literally" and "infinitely" may have some merit. I make no claims to being an English major or professional writer but even I, as unimportant as I may be, see the humour in your taking him to task in defense of....BUSH, the king of verbal diarrhea. Mr. Will, I most sincerely invite you to literally kiss my ass.

Let me quote the remainder of your rant:

America’s national economic statistics are excellent; Webb could actually tell us how much richer the “top tier” has become, relative to other cohorts, over a particular span. But that would require him to actually say whom he is talking about, and that takes time and effort, and senators — Webb is a natural — often are too busy for accuracy.

I certainly do not presume to speak for Mr. Webb, perhaps he is too busy to give you the actual numbers, let me do it for you. MSN money was kind enough to crunch some numbers for us. You don't have to believe them of course, you can do what you usually do when reality and facts collide with your particular worldview and simply add them to your list of "left-wing traitors" but then you can also choose to believe the moon is made of cheese. Believing something does not make it so.

Regards, an ordinary American

Kansas City Star

Songs That Get Stuck in My Head

The more I wander around the blogosphere the more convinced I am that there are still truly great people out there...frequently being shouted down by assmonkeys who seem to have taken over our country, but still out there and still fighting. Here are a few for this week that particularly struck a chord.

The Omnipotent Poobah lays it out for us better than I could have on a great day in Land of the Enslaved and Home of the Wussy. It's a tune we should all be singing.

Buckdog, Midtopia, and Konagod all talk about one of those things we just never want to talk about: the fact that we are rapidly approaching a point where the number of US citizens regarded as "having a criminal background" will exceed those who are not. Better pay attention if you are a parent or grandparent, this very well may affect you if it hasn't already.

Andrew Young Rocks the House

Andrew Young on Lou "I-hate-Mexicans" Dobbs? Ok, for someone who views punditry about like some view boxing this was a must-watch event. Goddamn if it wasn't worth it.

DOBBS: Let's turn to the domestic economy. We're hearing a lot of talk about this economy being strong. We're hearing some very good evidence that it is not strong for everyone. What is your sense of the policies that are being followed in this country right now, in terms of the economy, in terms of working men and women and their families?

YOUNG: Well, I heard you say that I think the middle class deserves some of the blame. And I say that simply because they forgot that they were America's poor when I was a child. And it was Franklin Roosevelt's New Deal, it was Lyndon Johnson's Great Society, it was the G.I. Bill, it was assistance to state education. My wife got a master's degree 50 years ago for $30 a semester. You can't do that anymore.

DOBBS: No, you can't. And the fact is that...

YOUNG: We don't want to pay taxes, the taxes that we paid to support the middle class. Now they don't want to pay taxes to support the poor. And it's hurting them. Those who have moved up out of the middle class are doing very, very well because they don't have to pay -- they don't have pay to bring along other generations.

Sing it baby. Trust one of the pillars of telling politically incorrect truths that most folks just don't wanna hear to score a slam dunk.

IT WAS YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT

Yes, this means you middle-fucking-America. You sucked up all the bennies that came from those "goddamn liberals" and you made it outta the trailer park or the ghetto or the barrio or wherever you were and into the middle class, some of you did even better and even made it into the country club set. Hallelujah.

Then you forgot where you came from and how in the hell you got to where you were and exactly who helped get your sorry ass there.

I can hear you now, "no, no, not me, I did it all on my own because of my own hard work, natural ability, and perseverance". Horseshit. Maybe 1% of you did, the rest of you got somewhere because there were systems in place to help you go as far as you COULD go based on all of the above. Stuff like student loans and grants, unemployment benefits and that sacred cow called Social Security just to name a few.

Ok, so you made it out of poverty-world and then...big surprise, you forgot who gave you that leg up. All of a sudden you were one of the "special people" and all those 'po folk were just trying to get a free ride off of your hard work. Those bastards.

You thought the priveleged were "your kind" and you voted with them, screw those lazy, good-for-nothings who were just looking for a handout.

So how has that worked out for you assmonkeys? Your peeps wanted your votes, they didn't want you. You are not "their kind", you aren't special, and frankly asstards...they don't want you marrying their daughters.

They want to replace your lazy, entitlement seeking asses with cheaper labor and no health care. Why should smart, hard-working, wealthy folks pay because you were too stupid to get rich yourself and get your own health care? Matter of fact, they want to quit paying for your social security too. Hey, if you weren't smart enough to save for your own old age why should they help you.

While they're at it, just to keep the heat off of themselves and because you are obviously retarded enough to believe anything (you've proven this) they'll just blame some other group, like say, immigrants.

Yeah, that's fucking brilliant, they'll just blame the very group of people THEY BROUGHT over here and they win two ways...the cheap workers get blamed for taking your piece of the pie AND they can count on you dumbfucks to keep them on the bottom rung of the ladder and unable to fight for better wages and basic services.

Mr. Young was really being nice the way he told you, he's a public figure so it doesn't work too well for him to call you an asstard. I'm not a public figure, will never be running for public office, and besides all that I'm just getting old and I don't give a rat's ass who I piss off. Sometimes the truth hurts, deal with it.

Next time I see one of you on TV whining and crying about how you can't afford to send little Johnny to college and pay your mortgage and your company just downsized so you lost your job and your unemployment ran out and OMFG your wife is sick and you have no insurance....I'm going to do what I always do. Laugh at your lame ass and then go have dinner at a Mexican restaurant. You go munch out on your "conservative values".

CNN transcript