Questions Not to Ask a Canadian

Not sure where this originated, some claim these were actual questions posted on a tourism site but I can't verify that and who cares anyway, it's funny.

Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street?(USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada?(Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver.(Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: What? did your last slave die?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?(England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?(USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?(USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Another Stick in the Eye of the MSM

Foot in mouth prize to CNN and the Associated Press for running with Richardson asks Democrats to keep campaign positive.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Democratic presidential candidate Bill Richardson is proposing a rule that is common on kindergarten playgrounds but doesn't usually work in politics -- be nice to each other.

Richardson hasn't always followed the principle while running for office in his home state of New Mexico. And the leading candidates don't seem to be embracing the idea in the 2008 White House contest, either.

"I believe the Clinton-Obama spat is not helpful," Richardson said in an interview Tuesday while visiting Washington. "We should stop those kind of attacks on each other and surrogates. We should talk about the issues and be positive."

But during his first run for office in 1980, Richardson criticized opponent Republican Rep. Manuel Lujan for his ties to energy companies and his spotty attendance record. Richardson unexpectedly came within 1 percentage point of victory.

"When you're a big underdog, you've got to go after the other guy's record," Richardson wrote of his decision to go negative in his autobiography, "Between Worlds."

His negative ads in 1980 were against a Republican, not in a primary race like his proposal would affect this time. But the case raises questions about how to define a personal attack.
Richardson said in the interview that his 1980 campaign "was a combination of positive and negative," but he said he didn't attack Lujan personally and instead "talked about a record."

You've already negated your premise here guys. If you go back and listen to Richardson's speech you'll recall he was referring to personal attacks against other Democratic candidates. He said, and I quote, "save it for the Republicans". Good advice that, we all know their record on personal attacks don't we?

I'd seriously question whether bringing up a candidates ties to energy companies and their work attendance record would even fall into the category of "personal". Seems pretty relevant and work related to me. Unlike say, fretting over a candidate smoking a cigarette or what church they attend which is about as personal as one could get.

Must be a slow news day because you guys are really scraping the bottom trying to make this a story worthy of anything better than lining the bottom of the litterbox.

Are We Really This Stupid?

We've clearly established that Fox network is a barrel full 'o retarded wingnuts so that isn't even interesting enough to discuss at this point but wait a sec, what about those other networks?

We have MSNBC with their new "All Anna Nicole, All the Time" format. Ok, they do take occasional breaks to run Tucker Carlson Boy Moron, Chris "I Might Be a Conservative" Matthews and Keith "Preaching to the Choir" Olbermann.

Yes, that's correct, I rarely watch Olbermann. It would be pointless, he usually agrees with me and there is little or no discussion so other than perhaps gaining some comfort from the fact that at least someone shares most of my views there is nothing to be gained by watching him.

For sheer entertainment value the other two provide some positively side-splitting laughs. Just a few fun moments from the last week.

Tucker Carlson complaining about how much money former President Bill Clinton makes:

CROWLEY: ... the first dude has not addressed.
How much time will be spend in the White House? Who what will his role be in crafting policy? Will he be at the table?
Fascinating questions that they haven’t really touched. And so those are big question marks. But bottom line, Tucker, I mean, you believe in the free market.

CARLSON: Yes. Yes.

CROWLEY: The man is—the free market is running well.

CARLSON: Oh, absolutely. But he doesn’t believe in the free market, and that’s the difference.

Bill Clinton, one of the strongest supporters of NAFTA doesn't believe in the free market. Who knew, thanks for the tip Tucker. Little perturbed that Clinton is disgustingly rich and famous and you are a talking windbag on a cable news show wearing an ugly tie? Now move to the back of the class.

Yesterdays Hardball interview with Seymour Hersh was worth watching, no surprise there. Priceless moment came at the end of the interview when Matthews asked Hersh which issue he felt was the greatest threat to America from his list of fun things to worry about, Iranian nukes, Taliban resurgence, sectarian violence in Iraq, etc. Hersh's response? "George W. Bush".

Then there is CNN, the big boss of the cable news world. Let's see they have Lou Dobbs with his 15 minute rants after which he allows his guest-with-dissenting-opinion 45 uninterrupted seconds to state their case. Do I really need to say any more about the utter banal mediocrity of this man?

Paula Zahn's show raises a lot of interesting points for discussion, or they would be if she actually had talking heads capable of discussion. Sorry Paula, Bill Donohue and Debbie Schlussel don't cut it and while we are busily hammering on the subject of giving irresponsible networks credibility let's go ahead and hammer on networks and their hosts and anchors giving irresponsible, moronic, and hate-mongering pundits credibility. Let's just do that. I like you Paula but do yourself a favor and instead of endlessly debating why and how men and corporate America "define women" go eat something, gain a pound or two because you're starting to look scary. If your corporate bosses don't like it yank off one of your high-heeled shoes and poke out their eyes.

Sorry but this has a lot to do with why I can't get too excited about the "let's kill Fox" movement. They ARE biased, ridiculous, and nearly always playing to the lowest common denominator. At least a large percentage of the time so are all the other networks. Maybe it's time we looked at ourselves and why nutwing news has become the biggest winner in the ratings game. Tyrants only have as much power as people give them so if we are being controlled by insane idiots.........

Consumerism on Steroids

I watch commercials. I don't particularly like commercials but they are a great indicator of where and who we are because I'm certain if they didn't resonate with at least a fairly large segment of the population the companies that pay to air them would not be spending millions to do so.

This one for U.S. Steel Buildings (video here) is driving me completely nuts.

Did you watch it? What is wrong with this picture?

We are so obsessed with our "stuff" that we now spend thousands of dollars to buy extra houses for it to live in, that's what's wrong with it.

If you need an extra 40 x 60 foot steel building to store all of your "keepsakes" please seek professional help immediately. Your stuff owns you.

More About the Good Old Days

I can't even begin to cap on this, Al Sharpton wants a DNA test. How could anyone outdo the news that former South Carolina governor Strom Thurmond's family once held Rev. Sharpton's great-grandfather as a slave.

Now I'm sure all of us have ancestors we could just as easily do without but hopefully most of us have rejected some of the more disgusting ideals and beliefs they held dear. It's called progress.

Not Strom. He never disavowed his support of segregation his entire life, he was just a little quieter about it in his twilight years. The public disclosure shortly after his death in 2003 that he had fathered an illegitimate daughter with an African-American woman who was employed as a maid by his family certainly blew a giant hole in the legacy he intended to leave in the public memory. This latest bit of scandalous history can only pale in comparison.

Truthfully I don't think it reflects all that much on Strom much as I loathed everything about him. Everyone knew exactly what he and most of his kindred were all about. If anything it reflects a great deal about the good voters of South Carolina who held this unabashed and unapologetic, hypocritical racist in such high esteem that they elected him to represent them time and time again, both as a Democrat and then later as a Republican. Shame on all of you.

Another strike on all the social regressives out there. Don't even try your "well, Clinton got a blow job" chant. Oral sex with another FREE and consenting adult just doesn't quite stack up on the moral outrage scale when held up next to "owning" fellow human beings or at the very least not disavowing the practice and fathering a child with a woman you considered to be unworthy of drinking from the same fountain as you. I'm disgusted to even be part of the same species as you.

Those of you too young to remember when open discrimination and outright abuse of targeted groups was not only acceptable but often a matter of public policy, keep in mind the past is not that far in the past. We can't afford to elect one social regressive. Not one. I don't care if the group they are targeting is Black, Hispanic, people of some particular or no faith, or same-sex couples, we cannot condone discrimination or any position of lesser legal status for anyone.

If you are Black and hate gays, get over it. If you are White and hate Mexicans get over it. If you're gay and hate Blacks get over it. Do whatever you want with your personal life and choices, just keep it out of the public domain. The minute we accept or embrace intolerance towards any group we've opened the door on a past better left in the history books. If you want to walk this path I can't stop you, just don't come crying to me when they come for you.

Stupid Scammer Tricks

I'm a bit jealous. Blue Lyon finds a transcript of Vilsack's farewell speech in her inbox and I get...scheming weenies.

Dear Friend

This mail will definitely be coming to you as a surprise,but i must crave your indulgence to introduce myself to you. I am Lance corporal. ########,a US marine currently serving in Iraq. The reason why i am contacting you via this media is because it is anonymouse. I cant contact my friends and family back home as they are listed as acquitances in my military file and to contact them may compromise the confidentiality of this transaction. I am currently in duty break . I and my partner, secretly moved some abandoned cash in a mansion belonging to the slayed former president of Iraqi, SaddamHusein and the total cash is $25million. We have discovered the cash forover 3 months now but we waited until the verdict has been passed and we are sure there is no way anybody could have a trace.

As I write this letter to you, this box is here with me in cash as I secretly moved it out of Iraq to Kuwait. You do not have to be afraid of anything as no one else knows about this and everything is safe. I would be pleased and grateful to you if you could assist us in receiving this box for us on your behalf as I will be heading back soon to camp in Iraq to join my collegues. Of course, I will give you some money for your efforts. We have limited time now, kindly get back to me immediately.

Moving the funds out of here is not going to be much of a problem as arrangements are being made towards that. All I want from you is your trust and assurance that if the box gets to you, you can keep it in a safe place until our arrival. I have to stop here now.we have limited time now, kindly get back to me immediately.

In God we trust,Lance corporal. ########

Hopefully unlike in the Nigerian e-mail scams, no congressmen will fall prey to this one. Maybe the sender just assumed I was retarded since I live in Pahrump.

Fabulous News of the Day

No, Brittany didn't get another tattoo.

As NV Mojo Rising says, Divine Strake is dead. Just wanted to add my own special thanks to the Western Shoshone who fought so hard for this victory.

Every once in a while the good guys do win.

Leaving Las Vegas

Per the Las Vegas Gleaner:

One other thought: The local political industrial complex is always running off at the mouth about how Nevada's Democrats are "different" than Democrats in the rest of the country, more conservative, hence the importance of bringing the Wonderful West into play, blahblahblah. As the prez wannabes parade through the state and campaign not on the issues that the West As Savior Movement says they should be talking about, but actual issues that people ask them about, that long-held conventional wisdom might get more than a few holes poked in it, and might even be exposed as flat-out bullshit.

There is some truth there although perhaps not in the way the Gleaner might have intended to highlight.

I don't think there is much of a case to be made for Nevadans being "more conservative". I mean after all, we're the home of legal gambling, legal brothels and the 5 minute divorce. Las Vegas is among the nation's leaders for child prostitution, substance abuse and where else could one expect to find bodies stuffed in suitcases on a regular weekly basis and former mob lawyers can grow up to be mayor? If Nevada is conservative then all it is conserving is it's right to be an assmonkey.

Now certain Las Vegans can rant on about those stupid, pesky, backwards rurals but the truth is that one of the greatest obstacles to democrats being able to gain any ground in Nevada has been Las Vegas. Yeah you. Republicans in Democratic clothing.

Gleaner is right about one thing, the same issues that concern the rest of America concern the average Nevadan.

We are concerned about what is happening to our environment, we aren't real keen on the BLM rapidly divesting itself of our lands by auctioning it off to Las Vegas developers either. Tip of the day: Taylor and friends, get rid of the big, gas-guzzling pick-em-up trucks and SUV's sporting "NV Democrat" vanity plates. While you're on it, update your MySpace page, if you're 19 years old then I'm Beyonce Knowles and you can kiss my black ass.

We're also concerned about the economy, especially as it relates to the middle class and "working poor" (such lovely terms we come up with for such ugly realities). Those things concern us a lot because they affect the overwhelming MAJORITY of small town and rural Nevadans. Unlike some of you city folk who would prefer to debate ideological points at the club while sipping cocktails.

Foreign policy is a big deal to us too because surprise, surprise, those are OUR children over in Iraqmire getting blown to pieces. Ours, not yours.

A whole lot of us don't begrudge anyone equal rights, gay or straight, religious or not, black, white or brown. As a group we haven't often been very vocal on these issues because see, you guys forgot about ours and we're fighting for our lives here.

You want to take our water so you can build more condos and put in more golf courses then you want to tell us how to vote.

You want people to come work in your casinos and industry, clean your houses, staff your hospitals and teach in your schools but you don't want to pay enough for them to be able to afford a home of their own. Everyone knows the real story of Las Vegas – enormous power concentrated in the hands of casinos, unchecked by government and oblivious to community responsibility.

You have a mayor who calls himself a Democrat but I didn't hear your outrage when he decided to make it illegal to feed the homeless.

You claim to root for the party that stands for fairness and equality but you're ok with rating women for their "bimbo appeal" and treating the less financially privileged like house pets.

All of that then you want to call us dimwits, nuts and idiots. Who really is the jackass here?

Do I think think all Las Vegans are like this? Nope. Just a large percentage of the ones who've been "speaking for the party". My party. What you are is a black eye in the face of real democrats everywhere and the best people to guarantee continued republican control of the state for years to come.

Enough Already

I give up, the leftosphere can take the entire August debate and air it on MTV or the Cooking Channel or just cancel it altogether. Hell, do it American Idol style and hire Simon Cowell to run it, "Mr. Kucinich, you are not a ballerina".

More from Taylor Marsh:

But if we're being honest about the Nevada Democrats choosing Fox, you have to come to grips with the fact that our candidates are likely for it. Harry Reid and the Nevada Democrats have been seduced. The Democratic '08ers want as many different eyes on them as they can get. It's also a foreign policy crowd and a "strong on terror" audience, whatever that means, so it will benefit Biden and Richardson, though that's not to say the other candidates aren't good on foreign policy.

See your point on Biden who has been pretty supportive of keeping our troops in Iraq but um, your very obvious anti-Richardson bias aside...how does that benefit him? He's consistently called for withdrawal of troops and repeatedly urged congress to force the issue. I can live with you not liking Richardson for whatever reason but I have issues with flawed reasoning. Also with outright lying.

The west may be going Democratic, but if it is it won't be through any help from Fox.

It won't be through any help from you either. Now that you and your kindred have called everyone who doesn't fall right in with your party line every demeaning name you could think of....we love you almost as much as we love the rightosphere. Ever wonder why you keep losing the middle? This is from the bottom of my heart: fuck you, you narcissistic, leftwing version of Michelle Malkin.

I hate Fox. They don't run a single show or have a single commentator I have one ounce of respect for. That isn't relevant, millions of voters do. Short of deporting all of them to East Timor they are a fact of life you have to deal with. What's next, the Republicans boycott coverage of their debates on CNN?

Do I love this choice? Yes and no. I do see a golden opportunity here and the simple fact is that every other network declined to air this. Am I worried about the spin? Yes. There have to be some ground rules. Something you might could push for if you weren't so busy alienating everyone who isn't lockstep with you. You might be special, you aren't a big enough majority to win an election with your attitude.

I've been a democrat all of my life. Along the way I've even managed to convince a few people to go dem too. If I keep reading this kind of garbage for much longer I'll be contemplating getting a "Mc/Cain in '08" tattoo on my backside. Thanks so much for campaigning for the republican party. Sorry we'uns weren't good enuff fer you'uns.

Cirque du Anna Nicole

Assmonkey Press - In an effort to sustain public interest in the proceedings following the death of Anna Nicole Smith, Circuit Judge Larry Seidlin has authorized payment for services to voodoo practitioner Ki Gendeng Pamungkas, renowned for his earlier success in jinxing President George W. Bush.

Stated Judge Seidlin, "this is probably my last shot at a book deal, face it, once this trial is over I'm finished in the judiciary system. A man has to make a living."

Mr. Pamungkas will be retained by Broward County to reanimate the deceased in an attempt to allow the deceased to testify on her own behalf. According to reports by insiders, both CNN and MSNBC have heartily endorsed the move. States an anonymous source at MSNBC, "this can only be seen as a career maker for Rita Cosby".

When asked for his views on this development, CNN president Jonathan Klein stated, "we can only report the news, not judge whether or not it has merit. After all, when have we ever used judgement before?"

In a related development the Assmonkey Press is investigating unconfirmed reports that Rita Cosby is in negotiations with Rupert Murdoch to launch a new 24 hour news network in partnership with Glenn Beck, Lou Dobbs and Nancy Grace. Bill O'Reilly could not be reached for comment as his staff informed us he was on retreat working on his newest book, "Voodoo Warriors and Why They Hate America".

AP Disclaimer: The above is presented for parody purposes only. Any persons believing one word of this should seek professional help immediately. Not responsible for outcome, results may vary.

One Nevada Dimwit's Point of View

If Nevada politics bores you, you might want to skip this because I'm on one this morning. Big time. Trying to take deep breaths and not just start flinging turds.

My frustration grows and grows. After reading some of the early blog commentary regarding yesterday's speechifying in Carson City I have reached an even deeper understanding of why we have never become the majority party in most of the country.

We (as in the democratic party) just don't get it. We're so wrapped up in party politics and being on the "right side" of every itty-bitty issue that comes up so as to remain in good standing with the cool kids that we completely forget who it was we were supposed to want to represent. Let me remind you. It was regular people. Not party hacks, not wanna-be blogging mega-stars, not just the all-important and ever snarky Las Vegas pundits and definitely not the ultra-rich and uber-cool folks in Pacific Palisades who do not give a rats ass about Nevadans even on a good day.

Quit thinking about all those people for a minute, dig your cranium out of your rear and take a long, hard look at reality. Those people may give you a lot of cash and that's always helpful. They won't get anyone elected. They get one vote, same as me, same as all the old folks living in the trailer park. There are more of us.

Let's begin with Taylor Marsh, "the antidote to rightwing talk".

The reason I missed Richardson was because Edwards took the time to go into the media room and answer a lot of questions, starting off with Iraq.

What about poverty and gambling, was another question. Edwards was flat out honest, saying he hadn't thought about it, but he would after the question and thanked the reporter for asking it.

The last question came at the same time someone came to tell him time was up. What do you think about legalized prostitution in Nevada? Edwards laughed and said, "That's a good question to leave on." Then laughing and leaving the room Edwards added with a laugh, "I can't believe you asked that question." Chuckling as he walked out the door.

Great reporting there Ms. Marsh. You missed a candidates speech so you could ask John Edwards how he felt about gambling and prostitution. I'm so sure those are matters of great national concern. In my perfect world Edwards would have responded, "gee, I never gave it much thought Taylor but how do you feel about having fried okra shoved up your ass by a guy whistling Dixie?". Now THAT would have gotten him some western votes. Luckily for all of us he simply laughed in your foolish face and made a graceful exit.

Here was what you did manage to cover of Gov. Richardson's appearance:

Richardson was next and I missed quite a bit of it.

"We should not be known for Abu Ghraid." - Bill Richardson

Richardson arrived about 1:00 p.m., according to a reporter in the media room. He talked about "worker protections" and "environmental protections" in our trade agreements, which he believes should be fair trade, not just free trade, which includes dealing with "wage disparity."

Richardson closed by talking about the world and Darfur, but made a point of saying we need to talk to our enemies, too.

I can see why this would not have interested you much. Nothing scurrilous or scandalous enough to insure more hits to your blog. After all, it's all about you isn't it? Oh, by the way, "Senator Reid greeted us at about 11am, Governor Richardson arrived just about then, spoke to the group and did a LOT of schmoozing before heading over to the Community Center." That's 11am dear, not 1pm. You might try poking your head out to see what's going on now and then.

Then there is this in the Las Vegas Gleaner re: Fox news coverage of the August debate.

Reid is not interested in assuring Democratic majorities (or Democratic policies) by changing the public's mind as much as he is in convincing a majority of the public that Democrats like guns too, have values too, hate taxes too and are, if not right on the issues, then at least, oh, acceptable.

So what are you saying here, Reid is interested in assuring a Republican majority? Don't think so, next. By the way Gleaner people, a lot of Democrats do have guns, we do have values which may or may not be the same as the average Republican's but we have them, and we do hate taxes, we're usually just a little more reasonable about seeing the need for some.

I do get so tired of having to explain things to folks but dammit-all, someone who isn't one of the special folks has got to do it.

I'm hardly Harry Reid's biggest cheerleader as some of my previous posts can attest to but there is a reason Reid has been in the senate since 1986 in a RED state. He isn't stupid. He's smart enough to choose his battles and realize that bending on some issues can mean the difference between life and death on bigger issues. Do you want to nitpick about reaching out to try and snag a few votes from across the aisle or would you rather not have a fully operational Yucca Mountain Project and keep feeding troops to Iraq? In case you've forgotten, 1% can be the difference between being Mr./Madam President or "who was that guy who ran in.....?"

Grow up.

JWH comments on Hillary's lack of appropriate butt-kissing to the press:

Don't pass out from shock when I tell you this, but Hillary Clinton flat out avoided the press. No one seen her arrive or leave. It was like magic. I guess we'll find out within the next couple of years if a candidate can win an election on money alone without actually answering the hard questions from the media.

JWH, don't pass out from shock but the press ain't impressing us much. I'm sorry if she didn't take time to pontificate upon her stance towards gambling and prostitution but something had to get cut y'know. Hillary isn't my numero uno either but props to her for not being retarded.

CLS from Blue Lyon was there, "I've read elsewhere that the local press and some bloggers felt that she avoided them. That might have been because she was actually spending time with Democrats - visiting over at the legislature, taking a trip through Comma Coffee (one of our attendees told us she had been over there meeting people and shaking hands), meeting with Democratic women, speaking at the forum. And then she came over to visit with us before heading off to Las Vegas for a 5pm speaking engagement."

In addition to all of this local fun I'd put money on most people being tired of listening to the pundits debate whether or not Obama is "Black enough" or Richardson is "Mexican enough".

While we've pretty much established that Biden might be clean but not so articulate I have to ask the burning question: is Edwards Cracker enough to win the Cracker vote? Enquiring minds want to know.

Carson City Blues

That was fun. Had my days mixed up and was just lucky I went channel flipping and caught the festivities in Carson City on C-Span. Ok, I missed Dodd and Clinton, somehow I doubt I missed much and I'm sure someone will fill me in if I did.

Vilsack - managed to come off less weird than usual.
Edwards - still not buying it. No, paying for universal health care simply by eliminating the Bush tax cuts doesn't wash, do the math. No, you are not my brother.
Richardson - nothing new, straight and to the point. Summary: they talk about it, I've done it.
Joe Biden - the only one who surprised me a little, came out stronger than I expected. Don't totally disagree with his plan for Iraq, thing is: the Iraqis do. That's been the thorn all along. Mucho agreement on our problems with public and higher education.
Dennis Kucinich - um. Don't ask.
Mike Gravel - public suicide should not be televised.

Of course this is only my opinion and as Kos at Daily Kos has pointed out, I am jes' a dimwit Nevadan, what do I know. Not much probably. Maybe enough to know that having a mutual masturbation-fest with party idealogues has never won us an election. Just a theory. From a dimwit Nevadan.

It's the Non-News

Much ado about Obama being the only no-show for the event in Carson City today. Can't say it excites me much, outside of Las Vegas I don't see him swaying any votes in rural or northern Nevada. Sorry folks, I can't even come up with a fantasy involving a Nevada sweep for Obama. It ain't happenin' and apparently he knows this too. Nevada Up North has more.

UK is pulling out of Iraq. Is that supposed to surprise me?

CNN chops off Blair's speech, says "obviously he's going to go on and on, we'll come back to this later". Guess it was taking up too much valuable time they needed to cover Brittany's hairdo.

Expected squealing from the netroots about Fox news coverage of the Nevada democratic debate in August. Commenters lobbing stones at Myrna over at Reno and It's Discontents. Throw 'em off the balcony Myrna.

Continued in-depth coverage of Anna Nicole's corpse: day uh, what...12?

I am seriously bored people. Stop being so damned predictable.

In the meantime:

Take a fun quiz at Konagod. The Omnipotent Poobah has the low-down on turd flinging apes and Midtopia discusses the genetics of altruism. You can test your religious beliefs at Politics Plus or revisit stuff-we-shoved-under-the-rug over at Abandon Mythology.

I'm off to surf real estate listings for Las Cruces.

Stupid People Tricks: the Dee-Dee-Dee-ization of America

I'm quite happy the hikers on Mount Hood have been rescued, not much the worse for wear. I'm especially happy that this particular group had enough sense to take with them cell phones, Global Positioning System gear and beacons. Kudos to them for not being entirely retarded.

This isn't really about them specifically but the whole mountain climber-adventurer thing in general. What the hell is it about us that makes us want to climb mountains in the dead of winter anyway?

I'm listening to the news this morning and a commentator is discussing the fact that some legislators are considering making Global Positioning System gear mandatory for hikers and the inevitable protest from some hikers.

Quoth the commentator, "you have to understand the type of personality who does this. They like taking risks, risking their lives, they don't like being told what to do".

Really? Go live in a low-rent district for a while and work a minimum wage job while trying to raise a few children and keep them out of trouble if you're up for a REAL challenge.

I don't like being told what to do either, I also don't run around doing stupid, senseless shit to prove how tough I am and then expect half the world to come bail my dumb ass out when I get in trouble. The least you can do is make it easier for the poor sots who have to put their own lives on the line to come save you.

Then we get the Kings & Queens of dumb-assdom. The ones who aren't content to be a pain in our backsides but must export their bravado and daring overseas. Get lost in the mountains in freaking Tibet and create international incidents requiring people of many nations to expend time, energy and a great deal of money trying to find you.

All of this while the native population is living in huts and carrying water in buckets and then we wonder why a lot of people in the world just don't like us. Let me 'splain this one: it's because we are stupid, insensitive, asshats. Sure, they can use our tourist dollars but they aren't going to love us, not when we consistently act a fool and expect them to drop everything to see to our needs. Get a clue.

As if that weren't enough stupid-people-trick news for me I was treated to the yuppie whining of passengers from Jet Blue. Trapped on a plane for up to 11 hours and couldn't get to your honeymoon in Aruba. That's just heartbreaking. WHAT THE FUCK, were all the emergency doors broken?

You could probably keep me in wait mode for a couple of hours, not 11 freaking hours. Open the damned door and slide your fat ass out on the wing and start entertaining the locals. They'd have sent someone to get y'all out of there in a New York minute, trust me on this.

The airline personnel on the plane were as clueless as you were thanks to US business practices that leave employees with no room for thinking on their feet. Can't have that, gotta micro-manage the peons or we might get people who could actually THINK. Would set a dangerous precedent.

All of this and more is why Mexico is eventually going to kick our ass. I have to admire someone who is living in conditions that would make most of mainstream America's hair stand on end who says "screw this". He or she may walk 20, 50, or 100 miles or more to the border, scout for a chance to cross while knowing they might well be caught, shot, robbed, raped, or simply die of thirst or exposure then walk another who-knows-how-many miles across the desert so they can maybe get a job cleaning someones toilet or butchering chickens or shoveling cow shit. All so his or her children might have a shot at a better life.

An American faced with such a dilemma will usually just whine that a Mexican took his job. Then he or she will join the Minutemen and stand around on a street corner waving an American flag while collecting unemployment, SSI, and Food Stamps.

Now if you were an employer who would you choose? I'd hire the Mexican.

Love those big brass balls and most of us gringos have lost ours. That's the only reason I can come up with for why we feel the need to show our nuts by climbing up mountains for no good reason, Pedro doesn't need to because he never lost his in the first place.

Sleeping With the Enemy?

Someone was kind enough to drop me an e-mail about this, FNC Hosts Democratic Debate.

FOX News, the Nevada Democratic Party and the Western Majority Project have jointly announced that they will host a 2008 presidential debate, which is expected to attract the top Democratic contenders for President. The debate will be presented live on FOX News Channel (FNC) and FOX News Radio on August 14, 2007 in Reno.

Now the sender wrote this:

The Nevada Democratic Party has just awarded the first Democratic primary debate to the last news outlet on the planet that should have been chosen: Fox News. We need to pressure the party into cancelling and apologizing. What do you think?

I think it's pretty damned funny. Devilishly clever too, I always prefer to fight the enemy with their own weapons.

I can't stand FOX, so what...it isn't about what I like, it's about WINNING. Would we prefer it wasn't broadcasted?

Update: CNN says the only reason Fox has the Aug. Nevada debate is because CNN passed on it. "We were offered both and chose the more meaningful time," an insider says...

So CNN passed on this one, don't know if they tried MSNBC but wouldn't that be kind of like preaching to the choir anyway? This looks like a win-win to me. FOX gets a whole bunch of viewers who would otherwise never tune in to them (and looking at their recent ratings they need some viewers) and the Democratic candidates get to reach an entirely untapped new audience. Not seeing the downside here.

Alright, it may well piss off some of the far, far left. Like they were going to vote for Obama or Richardson anyway...? Doubt that so color me not too worried.

Nope, sorry to disappoint my tipster but this does not upset my applecart one little bit. It's exactly the kind of smartass move I would have made if it were my call. Like I've said before, I like results better than I like ideology.

I'm Just Not That Wild About Harry

"This war is a serious situation. It involves the worst foreign policy mistake in the history of this country," Sen. Harry Reid, D-Nevada, told CNN's "Late Edition with Wolf Blitzer."

"So we should take everything seriously. We find ourselves in a very deep hole and we need to find a way to dig out of it."

Oh mah gawd, really? Who knew. I can't remember when the first thing I did in the morning wasn't to check the news and see how many bombs had killed how many people so I hadn't noticed.

Pity you voted for this invasion Harry. No, I don't especially hate you for it, you aren't any worse than the rest of our party, the majority of whom voted for the invasion. It only means that you are either just another political hack afraid of being called weak or incredibly stupid and believed the doctored information we were all spoon fed. Or both. I've watched you operate so I'm inclined to go with the first choice, you're just another hack.

Not a major problem for me, at least you are a hack who is mostly on my side of the issues and face it, the other side is mainly comprised of useless political panderers too.

Let me break this down for you Harry. You aren't going to be running for office again, we both know that, this is your last hurrah. Why not go out with a bang instead of a whine?

Quit jerking around with non-binding resolutions and worrying over whether or not to bend over for the republicans and change wording to satisfy their little weenie-boy-trying-to-act-macho souls like a high school girl debating whether to let her boyfriend get to 2nd or 3rd base.

Cut off the goddamned funding and/or figure out how to begin
impeachment proceedings. They're wrong, everyone with more than two functioning brain cells knows they are wrong and we are wasting time running our mouths while people are dying. You all sound like Charlie Brown's teacher, "bwah, bwah, bwah, bwah, bwah". To quote an old friend, "I ain't tryin' to hear you".

People will say you can't cut funding because that would mean you "don't support the troops". Yes, retarded people will say that, most of us are pretty much done catering to retarded people. Cutting off funding means we would be forced to bring them home, period. Besides, judging from the way we are supporting our troops now, we aren't doing such a bang up job anyway. How's about we see if we could kill a few less?

What's your next argument? Iraq will descend into chaos? Done, check another one off of your list. Terrorists will gain a foothold in Iraq? Check. Innocent Iraqis will die? Check. Terrorist organizations will gain strength? Check.

Looks like the mission is accomplished. Now knock off the political weenie pulling and do something that matters. If they call you weak, kick 'em in the nuts. They'll have a hard time calling anyone anything when they're doubled over nursing their scrotums.

It's your big chance to make a splash Harry, grab the brass ring or go out like a chihuahua. Your choice.

Viva Progress, A Little Bit of Truth About the Good Old Days

I had started this rant last night but over tiredness and pissed off did not make for a very good combination so I saved it and this morning Buckdog posted something along a very similar line from the Canadian point of view.
Since most of us have reached the conclusion that for better or worse, language matters, I've been giving some thought to William Donohue of recent infamy and others of his ilk.

We, or the MSM at any rate, have been referring to them by such terms as "Christian conservatives", "values voters", and "fundamentalist Christians". Those terms may be polite and fairly inoffensive but I don't think they accurately depict who and what these people truly are. Those terms in fact tend to lend them an air of reasonableness and legitimacy that they just do not deserve.

Much as I might favor "socially retarded, anally retentive, control-freak assmonkeys" somehow I just can't feature Anderson Cooper or Soledad O'Brien saying it which would kind of defeat the purpose of changing the terminology in the first place.

Here are a few alternative proposals:

Christian Extremists
Religious Radicals
Christian Despots
Religious Anti-Socials
and my personal favorite: Social Regressives

Socially regressive is exactly what they are and I like to call things by their true names. "Conservative" implies that they are attempting to preserve some better way of life that we all once enjoyed. I'm not sure in what fairy tale we enjoyed this "better way of life" but they claim it is so.

Let me take you back to the year of my birth, back in the good old days when unmarried women who got pregnant were sent away "to visit an ailing aunt" and gay people had to hide in closets stuffed with high-heeled slippers with fuzzy fake-feather balls on the toes.

January 14 - George Wallace becomes governor of Alabama.

February 11 - CIA Domestic Operations Division is created.

March 18 - Court decides poor must have lawyers (Gideon vs. Wainwright Supreme Court trial)

June 12 - Civil rights leader Medgar Evers is fatally shot in front of his home in Jackson, Mississippi.

June 17 - The United States Supreme Court ruled 8 to 1 in Abington School District v. Schempp against allowing the reciting of Bible verses and the Lord's Prayer in public schools.

August 18 - American civil rights movement: James Meredith becomes the first black person to graduate from the University of Mississippi.

August 28 - Martin Luther King delivers his "I have a dream" speech on the steps at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C.

September 15 - American civil rights movement: The 16th Street Baptist Church bombing results in 4 deaths and 22 injuries.

November 22 - John F. Kennedy assassination: In Dallas, Texas, US President John F. Kennedy is assassinated, Texas Governor John B. Connally is seriously wounded, and US Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson is sworn-in as the 36th President of the United States.

November 24 - Vietnam War: Newly sworn in US President Lyndon B. Johnson confirms that the United States intends to continue supporting South Vietnam militarily and economically.

Those are just a few highlights from "the good old days". Don't forget that our public schools were still teaching children to "duck and cover" in the event of a nuclear attack and just about every town had at least one building with an official "fallout shelter" sign, likely posted not far from the omnipresent "whites only" signs. Miscegenation was still a crime in some states, in others it would only get you killed.

Pardon me for my complete lack of sappy, fond nostalgia.

I also remember who the people were who promoted and propagated all of the aforementioned loveliness. It was the Christians. The same God-fearing, bible-quoting, hellfire and damnation Christians as we have today, in many cases the direct offspring of the original pain in the ass idiots we fought before. The bible was used then, as it is now, to justify everything from racial prejudice and legalized discrimination to engaging in military actions we had no business being involved in.

I'd have expected us to learn something from this. Nope. The Regressives have learned to cloak their intentions and meaning quite a bit better but leopards don't change their spots and they are still exactly what they were in 1963: social regressives.

Maybe we haven't spent enough time and effort informing the younger generation about the realities that existed within our own lifetimes, preferring to feed them the misty, rose-colored version that time often lends to our memories.

I went to elementary school in a semi-rural, mainly agricultural district. More than half of my classmates were Hispanic, mainly first and second generation children from Mexico. Nearly all of their parents were farmworkers. The people who picked the crops for the food we all buy at our local supermarket. Even back then those crops would have rotted in the fields if farmers had to find white, American citizens to pick them.

Despite the disproportionate number of Mexican and Mexican-American children in my school all of the teachers were white. Not criticizing that, I doubt one could have found more than a small handful of Latino teachers in the US back then.

The problem was the attitude. I didn't really think about it much or it didn't penetrate my 7-year-old consciousness until the day W. disappeared. Until that day I simply took for granted my status as a golden child in the eyes of my teachers.

W. was Mexican, I don't know if she was in the US legally or illegally but her English was just good enough to barely get by. She was always quiet, never talked much to anyone and as far as I could tell, didn't have any friends. No one picked on her but no one paid her any attention either, myself included. I might have been unusual only in the fact that I even noticed she existed.

She disappeared one morning during recess. I noticed her seat was empty sometime after returning to class. I didn't think too much of it at first, assuming she was in the bathroom or some other logical place until our teacher started calling us up by name to pick up our graded assignments. Naturally W. was not there to respond when her name was called.

Nothing happened. When W. still had not appeared by the next recess I asked the teacher where she was and was told she must have gone home. Several hours later the police arrived at school with W. in tow. They had found her wandering about a mile from school. She said she had "felt lonely" and was trying to walk to her grandmother's house...in Mexico. No one at school had reported her missing.

You would think this would have resulted in at least an apology to her parents. Nope. W. was expelled from school for being "unmanageable".

Even at age 7 I was aware enough to know that had I gone missing for even 5 minutes there would have been a massive outcry. Can't have little curly-haired, blue-eyed children going missing, what would people think? One less dark-skinned child in the classroom...no big deal.

I also had enough sense to understand my own complicity in the matter. I had never spoken up, never questioned why the brown-skinned children were ignored, never questioned why all the goodies and attention always went to those of us with lily-white complexions. Enough sense to feel shamed. Where was the shame from the people who were supposed to be our role models?

Today we don't and indeed cannot get away with this behavior. I'm thankful for that. Still we have this large group of people who having failed in perpetuating this type of institutionalized discrimination against certain ethnic groups have now turned their attentions to gay people, single parents, the poor, and anyone else who doesn't fit into their world view of what constitutes a human being. And we've been letting them get away with it.

Now maybe some folks out there really long for the good old days, high-heeled slippers, beehives and all. Me, I prefer today and should I be lucky enough to live to see it, the future. Hopefully a future where we've put a little bit more of the "humane" into humanity and people like Mr. Donohue don't even merit a mention on the evening news because normal folks just don't go around worrying themselves about what other folks do in their bedrooms or demonizing the weakest among us.

Hopefully enough of us will stand up and call the people who would do this what they really are and refuse to accept it.

ConAgra Foods and Wal-Mart: A Terrorist Link?

Since we are happily accusing everyone who screws up of committing "terrorist acts" I feel obligated to point the finger at ConAgra Foods and Wal-Mart and their devilishly clever plot to poison peanut butter & jelly eating democrats across the nation.

I didn't pay too much attention to the press release this morning but decided to glance at my peanut butter when I was making dinner and lo and behold...I had the winning numbers!

Since I had already eaten about 1/3 of it and I'm not dead I have to assume mine either was not contaminated or I'm a lot harder to kill than ConAgra figured. Take that you devils, foiled again.

Guess that nixes my plan to bake peanut butter cookies for the local Minutemen.

Things You Never Needed or Wanted to Know About What Old White Folks Really Talk About

My dearest other, like all of us, has his own particular stereotypical groups that drive him bonkers. One of those is that group of women often referred to as "Soccer Mom's". Suburban, SUV driving, ponytail pulled through the ballcap wearing women of the 20 t0 30 something variety. You know, slightly toned down real-life versions of Desperate Housewives.

I'm not sure if he really dislikes them, they just scare him to death or it's their penchant for suddenly whipping in front of his 2 tons of automotive might. That's beside the point though.

Dear one bought the wrong trash bags, scented trash bags. Me being happily oblivious to what he is doing as my new computer just arrived, I am suddenly assaulted by a strange odor.

Me: what the hell is that smell?
Him: trash bag, sorry, bought the wrong ones.
Me: ah, no biggie
Him: smells like that cheap perfume all the soccer mom's wear
Me: (laughing and trying not to choke) Perfume? No honey, that's the same scent as they use for those "deodorant tampons".
Him: you mean all these years I've been smelling......

Oh the look on his face. A herd of wild buffalo could have easily walked through his wide open mouth. Priceless.

I now return you to the regularly scheduled coverage of Anna Nicole Smith. Have a beautiful day.

Goin' With the Flow: More Anna Nicole Coming to a State Near You

The non-stop coverage of Anna-Nicole's death has now exceeded even my most gloomy expectations so I've decided to nominate my choice for "best Anna Nicole post".

It wasn't difficult since there was only one that took things in a unique direction. The winner is Reno and It's Discontents for Nevada is the Anna Nicole Smith of the 2008 Democratic Caucuses.

Whether you like it or not my fellow Americans, Nevada is America at both its best and its worst. Like Smith, one day you’ll find us all gussied up in our finest implant-enhanced sequined gown and the next, we’re wandering around the town drugstore in a daze and a dirty powder blue velour jump suit that makes our ass look huge. No matter how hard it is to watch sometimes, Nevada today is as American as apple pie. A look at the ratings for syndicated entertainment shows and American Idol tells you all you need to know about what Americans think is important these days. Being famous for something (anything) is the way to go. Smith was the American dream–trailer trash done good, or least done rich and famous, and as much as we wanted to look away, we couldn’t because, after all was said and done, at least part of us wanted to be like a part of her. She was fat and thin, rich and poor, unknown and famous, straight and stoned, sexy and frumpy, loved and despised, happy and miserable, all image and seemingly no substance.

Don't get too excited if you're from South Carolina, Myrna the Minx has your number too and you're Jessica Simpson.

So ignore us if you dare, just remember that while you were busy courting the Streeps, the Simpsons, and the Reeds, the heartland moved to Nevada, and along with the rest of the west, we are setting the political trends for the future of this country.

Head over and read the rest and at least have a good chuckle.

Western Democrats Do Not Eat Quiche

Looks like I may not have been completely off base with my little rant about Westerners having a bellyful of Southern and Eastern politicians. Per the Nevada Appeal:

More often than not, presidential candidates are elite Easterners who don't connect with Western voters. Most of the 18 (!) politicians who have already announced for president are Easterners or Southerners who know little if anything about the West - people like Hillary Clinton, John Edwards and Rudy Giuliani, who probably couldn't find Yucca Mountain on a map if their life depended on it.

According to Klein, "The Democratic Party is being reborn (in the West) with a raft of colorful candidates who have won the hearts of independents and moderate Republican voters." That's true in Nevada, where Democrats now occupy three statewide offices previously held by Republicans. So the Silver State isn't nearly as "red" as it used to be, thanks to an unpopular president and GOP congressional scandals. Once President Bush lied to us about Yucca Mountain, he was in deep doo-doo (that's how they say "problem" in Texas) around here. And he still is as we sink deeper and deeper into the Iraqi quagmire.

During an early debate among Democratic presidential hopefuls in Carson City on Feb. 21, we'll have a firsthand opportunity to hear what they say about Yucca Mountain and other western regional issues, and we should rule out any of them who don't know how to pronounce the name of our state.

I'm not sure Nevada is any less "red" than it used to be so much as it is that the red party has gone off the deep end. The average westerner just can't get with the "my way or the highway" style of governance. It's why the democrats lost them before. Don't tread on me is a good saying to keep in mind out west. Guess you could say we have a regional case of problems with authority.

Oh, for those in doubt, it's Nev-aaaa-da, A as in apple. Not Nev-ah-da.

Hat tip to America for Richardson

I had to read about the purging of the blogrolls by Atrios and Daily Kos over at the Galloping Beaver because, doh, I rarely read the big blogs. They could close up shop and unless one of the smaller blogs tells me, I wouldn't know it. They've become too much like MSM for me.

Apparently the recent purge was taken by many as their way of deciding who was or was not worthy. May have been, may have been simply trying to maintain a relatively short blogroll. Either case, I don't care. They can do whatever they please. It isn't like any of them would ever have linked me so I have no vested interest in the matter.

My blogrolling policy is: I don't have a set-in-stone policy. I might even link a "major" blog if I start following one fairly regularly. Mostly I assume everyone already has those links so why bother.

I look for blogs that interest me. Period. They don't have to agree with my views 100% or update every 5 minutes. Individuals tend to have lives and blogging takes up a fair amount of time. They can flat out disagree with me on most issues if I can find any logical rationale to their point of view.

I've removed a few blogs even in the short few months I've been blogging. Usually after a few months of no activity. Now and then because it went or I became aware it was assmonkey-driven. If people want to carry on a crusade for freeing 3 time murderers they can do that, I don't have to link them.

Today I dropped a few dead ones and one because the writer continues to believe we are in mortal danger if we leave Iraq and we must continue to increase troop presence there at all cost. In his view this is not even open to discussion. He has a right to believe and express that but obviously at this stage, if someone continues to believe this then I have no more words for them.

I added a few North Town, Divided We Stand United We Fall , and Flimsy Sanity. I'm not sure what I'll do if and when my blogroll goes nuclear but I doubt purging it for size will be the answer. It's my on-line bookmark list so if I still visit, even occasionally, it stays.

Thanks to the move by some of the big players of the blog world I'm going to make more of an effort to keep an eye out for interesting, lesser known blogs and add them. My little contribution to keeping internet democracy alive.

Crank Up the Volume

Buckdog, Blue Lyon and And yes, I DO take it Personally posted about what at first glance appear to be two separate matters. Are they though?

Interesting that our administration is working so hard to build a case against a nation that it has clearly stated "we have no intention of invading". Why would they do it then?

Maybe invading Iran isn't the point. Maybe, just maybe they are running out of ways to make us pee our pants in fear and maintain some support for staying in Iraq. After all, if they can convince us that Iran is the bogeyman a lot of skurred little sissy-cons will insist we stay in Iraq, "so we don't have to fight them here".

This is particularly important when one considers the timing, today the House begins debate on the little matter of sending more troops to Iraq. Can't have them deciding we shouldn't send in more cannon fodder now can we?

Do I doubt that Iran, or at least some elements in Iran, are arming and assisting insurgents in Iraq? Nope. Will sending in more troops put a stop to this? Not a chance in hell.

The point is: they are doing it because we are there. How long do you suppose the Iranians would want to keep sending in supplies to Arabs if there were no US forces in Iraq? I'm guessing not too long. There's some history there.

But, but, but, Iran is developing nookular weapons you say. Could be. Exactly how is our staying in Iraq going to be a deterrent to that plan? I've heard a lot of talk about "tactical strikes" against nuclear facilities in Iran. Explain to me exactly how that would work out with over 100,000 of our military sitting on Iran's doorstep like fat, juicy hens in an unprotected hen house. Is that what they mean when they talk about expected "collateral damage"?

I'm not quite sure why I keep fighting this issue. At this late stage of the game it definitely isn't because I think anyone who doesn't get it is going to suddenly have an epiphany. Maybe it's just habit or to leave a record.

Maybe it's because I resent the hell out of having my country ride the short bus.

Al Qaeda's Newest Advisor: John Howard

Much is being made of Australian Prime Minister John Howard's comment regarding the '08 US election in general and more specifically about Barack Obama.

Who does this Howard think he is telling Americans how to vote is what most of us here are asking. I think we are looking at this all wrong. Howard isn't telling us who to vote for, he's acting in the capacity of advisor to Al Qaeda.

“If I were running Al Qaeda in Iraq,” Mr. Howard said, “I would put a circle around March 2008 and be praying as many times as possible for a victory not only for Obama but also for the Democrats.”

Surely Mr. Howard realizes how much most Americans thoroughly resent foreign interference in their elections. I mean he'd have to, right? Surely he couldn't be THAT clueless, could he? Therefore it follows that he could not possibly have been addressing his comments to us. He had to have been speaking to Al Qaeda.

Does that fall into the category of "emboldening the enemy"?

Not quite sure what his intent was here. I have to conclude Mr. Howard is either a) rooting for an outcome favourable to Al Qaeda by pissing off the entire US citizenry or b) he seriously believes Al Qaeda wields a great deal of influence on our elections and that Obama would do them some serious damage so he is trying to trick them into supporting him.

It has to be one of the above, unless you go with the beautifully simple "Howard is retarded" there is no other logical conclusion.

I did enjoy Mr. Obama's response.

“If he’s ginned up to fight the good fight in Iraq, I would suggest that he calls up another 20,000 Australians and send them to Iraq,” Mr. Obama said. “Otherwise, it’s just a bunch of empty rhetoric.”

Basically a polite way of saying "shut up and show us your balls". Let's see them Mr. Howard....if you can extract them from the deathgrip Dubya has on them. Ah, didn't think so.

Whatever the reason I want to extend my personal and heartfelt thanks to Prime Minister Howard for doing his part to campaign for the democratic party by pissing off nearly the entire country. You go John-boy.

Pahrump Farts #5

I've neglected the local shenanigans lately. Between the illness and death in our family, my computer hassles, and trying to fight off a growing case of apathy and depression over national affairs I didn't have the heart for it.

Not to mention we are only approximately 20 or 30 thousand in number here, not exactly movers and shakers of the universe. On the other hand we are a fair enough sampling of what goes on in small town and semi-rural America, both the good and the bad.

We've had a fairly typical month or two here. The usual and expected number of small town crimes involving car chases accompanied by cheering sections composed of local homeless people, local gentry confronting sanitation workers with shotguns because they did not approve of trash pick-up on windy days, and the ever present wild burros not yielding the right-of-way in traffic.

There is talk of establishing a shelter and services building for our homeless but it isn't meeting with much support. Considering the last attempt to establish such a program met with threats and vandalism by locals I'm not holding my breath.

Current services consist of the providing an occasional hotel room and shower and a bus ride out of town. Capt. Arlene Torres, of the Pahrump Salvation Army states, "The agreement is they have to be out in the morning at six. Our driver takes them to Las Vegas and they take a bus wherever they're going," Torres said. "We haven't done it in the past month. The last time we did it was in November, a woman who came from California."

That does resolve the problem from the Pahrumpian point of view, just shift the problem to someone else.

The big news of the week is we are now home to a brand-spanking new chapter of the Minutemen. Featheriver was more willing to give them the benefit of the doubt than I am. Naturally I had to look up their mission statement.

Now they say they are not a racist organization but I have to wonder.

Future generations will inherit a tangle of rancorous, unassimilated, squabbling cultures with no common bond to hold them together, and a certain guarantee of the death of this nation as a harmonious "melting pot."

No worries, we already have rancorous, squabbling cultures...and that isn't even counting ethnic or religious minorities. I'm pretty sure we killed any melting pot notions when we killed off most of the Native Americans, enslaved Black people, imported and subsequently tried to deport Chinese and Mexican workers as our business needs fluctuated and oh yeah, confiscated the property of and incarcerated Japanese-Americans. If I missed someone I apologize, hard to remember everyone off the top of my head. We've been awfully busy.

Since even we of white, European descent are usually preoccupied with destroying each other I have to assume this must mean only certain rancorous squabblers are unwelcome. Now who might that be? I bet it's those darn Canadians, always coming over here and refusing to learn the language and assimilate our ways. Can't even get into a good shouting match or fistfight with most of them.

Accordingly, the men and women volunteering for this mission are those who are willing to sacrifice their time, and the comforts of a cozy home, to muster for something much more important than acquiring more "toys" to play with while their nation is devoured and plundered by the menace of tens of millions of invading illegal aliens.

My understanding is that this organization was founded to assist in patrolling our borders. That's the official line anyway.

That leads me to an entirely new set of questions. Where are these millions of illegal invaders around here? I've been looking for them and I swear, outside of Ed Goedhart's dairy in Amargosa, I can't seem to locate many at all. Now if these proud new Minutemen want to head over there and fight for their right to shovel cow dookey for minimum wage I can get behind that. I can't think of a more fitting mission for them.

Then there's the border question. Which border are they here to protect? We share some border with 5 other states. I haven't heard any complaints about rampaging Oregonians or Idahoans. We seem to have a relative truce with Arizona 'ceptin when we get to fighting over water. That leaves California and Utah.

Now much as some locals would like to seal the border against invading liberals from California we just can't do it. Our gaming based economy needs those California dollars. Kick them out and poof go the casinos.

By process of elimination that only leaves the Utah border. Waves of invading Mormons intent on coming here to experience the joys of sinning out from under the watchful eyes of their brethren. Hell, one of them even managed to become a state senator. Insidious devils.

I'm so glad to have solved that mystery. Now I can sleep in peace knowing the local Minutemen will be protecting that Utah border and I will be safe from invading Utahns.

Assmonkey Language Control Part II

As several commentators stated, yes, language does matter. It's a tool for communication and one I frequently use as a deliberate verbal stick in the groin. It's my weapon of choice.

Wizard commented:
If we defend the right to free speech of Marcotte & McEwan, we must also defend the rights of Coulter & Limbaugh.

I do. They have an absolute right to spout any views they want to. Just as I have the same right to make fun of those views and play verbal kickball with them. I've never advocated for forcibly silencing them.

I did read the post in question. I'd also have to call the Christian conservative movement "Christofascist" because plain and simple, it is. Check the definition of facism.

A system of government marked by centralization of authority under a dictator, stringent socioeconomic controls, suppression of the opposition through terror and censorship, and typically a policy of belligerent nationalism and racism.

A political philosophy or movement based on or advocating such a system of government.

Oppressive, dictatorial control.

Calling the movement "fascist" isn't "hate speech". It's the truth. No one, Marcotte included, ever advocated to encourage violence against them or any loss of civil rights, including the right to believe what they believe as objectionable as it may be to some of us.

Some of us do strenuously object to their attempt to enact their particular beliefs into laws. It's incredibly simple: if you believe birth control is a sin, DON'T USE IT. If you believe same-sex marriage is a sin: don't marry a person of the same gender as yourself. Trying to control everyone else's choices and beliefs in these and other matters IS fascism.

Wizard also brought up the Mel Gibson and Michael Richards incidents.

There are some very clear differences that ought to be apparent to most sane people. Much as I detest Fundies I do NOT have any right to verbally or in any other way, harass them in their homes, their workplaces, or anywhere in the public domain. I cannot imagine approaching a group of door-to-door evangelists and screaming obscenities and insults at them. I do have every right to attack their views here, my blog, my rules.

If the argument was, and I sense it really was, a rant at Edwards for hiring them in the first place, there is merit to that argument. Certainly if he is attempting to appeal to the center they are a poor choice.

I don't have a problem with people changing their minds, I do it fairly often as more information becomes available but this was a case of the information was already there, flip-flopping all over the board at the first jab was over the top.

Did you know that Marcotte has consistently referred to Jesus as "Jeebus" in all her writings (one blogger counted 114 such references). Can you imagine Edwards rage if she have used a similar derogatory reference for Mohammad? Can you image the Muslim rage?

I sometimes refer to him as Jay-sus, more a play on Southern pronunciation than an attempt on my part to insult a being I do not believe in as a "divine saviour". I cannot insult that which I do not believe exists. I'm sure Muslims would be outraged if I did the same to their deity, we've all seen the violence that has ensued after some well-publicized incidents. Are you trying to say the Christian right might behave in the same fashion? If they do then I'd advocate for having them jailed, the same as I would for Muslims who behave in this manner.

Yes, jailed. People who cannot keep their hands and feet to themselves forfeit the right to live with the rest of us.

The current president of this country publicly declared he did not view me, an Atheist, as a citizen. Imagine my outrage. I did not even contemplate assaulting him. So does that make Atheists more civilized than religious people?

Donohue was never going to vote for Edwards, neither were his followers so exactly why is his opinion of any importance? It isn't. For that matter neither is mine or yours either as we were never going to vote for him either.

In short, it pisses us off that someone like Edwards represents our party. Fine. Attacking the bloggers is your right, you are free to do that all day long but you have to expect your logic and rationales are going to come under scrutiny when you do.

Assmonkey's Guide to Controlling Language

I'm sure by now everyone has already at least heard about the John Edwards flap over his hiring, then reported firing, then backtracking yet again and not firing two liberal bloggers he had hired for his campaign, Amanda Marcotte and Melissa McEwan.

I'm not really going to talk about that much. I've always considered Edwards a weaselly-weasel and I am an old woman with weasel radar.

Suffice to say, the writings and opinions of Marcotte and McEwan were not a state secret, he was or ought to have been fully aware of their positions and choice of language before he hired them. Hiring them then bending over for the Catholic League's Bill Donohue, then rolling over one more time when at least some segments of his base protested should never have happened at all. If you don't like the delivery don't hire that messenger. Good grief, and they called Kerry wishy-washy.

So the affair doesn't please me, it also does not surprise me, it's about what I expect from Edwards.

What truly yanks my too easily yanked chain is nonsense like this.

But she certainly was colorful in her in her rant! Yet it is that very color that marginalizes her position. Substituting the "F" word for logic, clear thought, facts or reason diminishes her into total obscurity.

Only mindless extremists could possibly like or respect her.Clearly one or more of those mindless extremists are part of John Edward's campaign. And those folks convinced someone in Edward's campaign to hire this idiot without properly researching her previous writings or work.

Beg to differ. The writer of this claims to be a "classic liberal". Classic classist-elitist liberal maybe. Only a mindless buffoon would decide a persons choice of adjectives made them more or less credible. You sir are an idiot. A snobbish, vanilla-puddin' eatin' idiot.

I love this response to people like him from Pandagon:

If one more social-conservative-in-centrist’s-clothing tries to put this “No, really, this decision is going to hurt Edwards, for whom I had every intention of voting, I swear,” nonsense over on me, I’m going to start the cocktail hour early tonight.

I never had any intention of voting for Edwards. I also have not really followed these bloggers or their blogs, mostly because I prefer to look for smaller, more individual blogs than follow the "biggies". Many of the major blogs are quite good but one of the things I have always most loved about the "internets" is its ability to give anyone and everyone a voice. Joe Schmoe in Podunkville would likely never be asked to contribute to any major blog but he might have something to say and I might just want to know what that is. I like to keep my ear to the ground, good to know when a buffalo stampede is heading ones way.

I might agree or disagree with these two bloggers, certainly I disagree with their choice of candidate but in any case it wouldn't be based on their choice of language. If Edwards was uncomfortable with it he should not have hired them in the first place. If as a nation we are so stupid and shallow all we can focus on is a persons use of the word "fuck", then we probably deserve to keep electing the sort of assclowns we've been electing.

If the writer of the language critique post is truly representative of the majority of democratic liberals then we truly are fucked.

Money Matters

Nevada Up North had some things to say regarding a subject that has been very much on my mind. The entire post is worth a look and pretty much sums up my own views on NAFTA, the WTO and free trade in general.

Dennis Kucinich has a problem with his plan for peace. At the winter meeting of the DNC he said he wanted to create a Department of Peace. That's fine, I agree with putting as much effort to peace as we do to defense. The problem with Kucinich's big happy world is that his economic policies completely contradict he goal. In fact, his economic policies even contradict his economic policies.

He discussed the issue in the context of Kucinich which is fine, I agree, Kucinich seems to be a genuinely kind, sincere person. So is my husband but he wouldn't make a good president either. It should apply to all of the candidates as well.

The issues, ie: Iraq, Iran, Darfur, North Korea, foreign policy in general, gay rights, health care, etc. are all important to me as I'm sure they are to all Democrats. Where NV Up North and I differ from many in our pack is that we also place great emphasis on our economy.

Yes, I know, many dems do not want to vote based on economic issues, it's all about emotional appeal and stance on human rights and welfare issues. Get over it. Economy is a human rights and welfare issue and business is part of it.

This has been the hole in our bucket. Corporations are all Evil and Wal-Mart Must Die attitudes will not serve us well. They will also ensure we do not maintain any position of power we have managed to obtain.

Yes, conservative, religious fundamentalists have been a problem for us. Guess what has helped them grow their movement? It's the economy stupid. Unfortunately AlterNet while making some good points does what we-of-the-left often do, gets more than a little muddled in understanding the roots of the problem.

Dr. James Luther Adams, my ethics professor at Harvard Divinity School, told his students that when we were his age -- he was then close to 80 -- we would all be fighting the "Christian fascists."

Adams understood that totalitarian movements are built out of deep personal and economic despair. He warned that the flight of manufacturing jobs, the impoverishment of the American working class, the physical obliteration of communities in the vast, soulless exurbs and decaying Rust Belt, were swiftly deforming our society. The current assault on the middle class, which now lives in a world in which anything that can be put on software can be outsourced, would have terrified him. The stories that many in this movement told me over the past two years as I worked on "American Fascists: The Christian Right and the War on America" were stories of this failure -- personal, communal and often economic. This despair, Adams said, would empower dangerous dreamers -- those who today bombard the airwaves with an idealistic and religious utopianism that promises, through violent apocalyptic purification, to eradicate the old, sinful world that has failed many Americans.

So, the argument is we return to a more insular economy and massive protectionism? How long do you suppose this would work before the entire system came tumbling down around our ears? Think it through, how well did it work out for Japan or the former Soviet Union?

Ok, so millions of jobs have been exported to China, India and other havens of "cheap labor". That's painful, it's also created a middle class, read consumer class in those countries. It's also pushing up the wage scales in those countries....how long do you suppose before it is no longer such a bargain to outsource to Singapore? It's inevitable.

Does this mean we have to leave half our population jobless in the meantime? NO. Absolutely not. Where we've failed miserably is in educating our people for the new realities and in not setting good policies for working with business to provide better terms for workers.

This is where the Republicans fall flat on their faces. We are not and will likely never be a "socialist" nation much as the right likes to claim all democrats are raving Marxists, that's a total myth. We do however recognise something the righties do not: government DOES have to take some responsibility for the welfare of its citizens. Leaving it all in the hands of for-profit corporations with no checks and balances was never going to work any more than leaving it 100% in the hands of government would. There has to be a partnership, no matter how unwilling and we have to be the ones to demand it.

Taking a hard line all-or-nothing stance either for or against business or free trade is not going to accomplish anything except more misery for all the people slugging along in the middle or on the bottom of the pile. I like results more than I like ideology.

That does not mean I would vote for a flaming social conservative to protect the economy, I wouldn't. Not in this lifetime. It does mean that when scrutinizing potential candidates whose social and foreign policy views I like I also have to scrutinize their economic views. Cutting off my nose to spite my face and make a point is not my forte.

We have only two candidates at this time that I see who have any grasp of the economic issues: Clinton and Richardson. Obama, I loves you but you lost me when you went stumping on the "Wal-Mart Must Die" trail with Edwards. It might have played well with the far left, for those of us living in bumfacked, podunk, Realityville it didn't wash. Try working with Wal-Mart to improve working benefits for their employees instead of demonizing them and come back in 4 years. I know, I know, I don't love them either but they are part of the American landscape and you just can't shoot them.

Instead of making fun of discount store shoppers (and yes, mea culpa, I've done it occasionally too) how about we work on ways to improve their lot in life? Killing the corporations who employ many of them will not help them. Finding ways to make health insurance more affordable, providing carrots that reward businesses for paying living wages, and simply raising the bar for what is expected in the way of working conditions, pay and benefits would help them.

Rant over. Please, please, please think long and hard about economic issues along with all the other issues before you vote. I want equal rights and access to services for all. I also want everyone to eat regularly and be able to live in decent homes. Someone has to pay for all these things so crushing Wall Street, while it might be fun in a mean, take that you weenies sort of way, would be like shooting ourselves in the foot to prove guns are dangerous.

I don't know where the saying originated but mothers all over have a saying for their children when the little dears insist on doing something mom has told them will cause them harm and they fall down and hurt themselves anyway. I'm not religious but the saying is still good.

God don't like ugly.

Hat tip to And, yes, I DO take it personally.

Bill Richardson at the DNC

Thought this speech deserved a rerun here, the more people who see it the better is my motto. Hat tips to Do You Want New Wave or Do You Want the Truth and Bill Richardson for President.

Richardson addresses...pretty much everything, even the fact that I love most of our dem candidates, I just love Bill more. Go Bill. You'll love him, really, you will.

Lambs Gone Wild

Once again the religious right is determined to interfere in public policy, this time regarding the new HPV vaccine.

Yes, the same folks who are so quick to defend the absolute right-to-be-born of a fertilized egg are also the first to object to preventing cervical cancer in their own daughters. Makes sense from their point of view I suppose: if the little tramps want to screw around they deserve to die. How very Christian of you.

I can sort of agree with them on one point and one point only: it's a shame the government has to make mandatory what should be by all rights a matter of common sense. Therein lies the problem though, common sense is not our forte, we are a nation of assmonkeys. This leads to the question of whether or not government ought to, or may even be obligated to enact legislation for the protection of the health and welfare of it's citizens.

Up to this point the answer has been yes. Think of all the other required vaccinations. Best of luck getting your child into school without an MMR record. Nowadays government has taken the issue light years further legislating smoking, and the newest trend, eating choices. I'm not going to debate those here but my point is that I did not hear the Christian outrage over these issues.

So why is this vaccine issue different? Its different because cervical cancer is definitely linked to sexual activity. Big no-no for the Christian set most of whom would tend to see this type of disease as a judgement from god.

I defend your right to opt out and so do the lawmakers, an opt out provision is written in. If you really want to kill your offspring who am I to stop you. I don't like it but I don't see any possibility of being able to protect every idiot from themselves nor do I think it reasonable to waste immense resources trying to enforce such a course of action. We have plenty of other, more cooperative people, who could benefit from those resources. I like the more bang for my buck option, call it a business decision.

Your argument for making it optional, an "opt in" choice, does not hold water. Most people will abide with the decision that the vaccine is beneficial, making it required gives it more credibility for people who are only mildly intellectually impaired. It could potentially save thousands of lives making it a good business decision. Case closed.

Now then, I have to address your argument that giving this vaccine "gives children permission to have sex". That would be hysterically funny if it were not what you dimwits actually believe. Young people having sex is not a new,modern day phenomena. Young people have been having sex since the dawn of humankind. They have never needed permission to do so.

I understand that you've been able to put the fear of Jay-sus into at least some of your offspring to the extent that fear of eternal hellfire has overcome biological drives and hormonal overdrive thus keeping Betty Sue from sullying her precious little dirty-hole with an evil, predatory man-thing. Goodie for you. So what you're saying is that if Betty Sue gets a vaccination her foul base nature will take over and she will immediately commence to fuck like a sailor on shore leave? Interesting premise for a new video series like "Lambs of God Gone Wild" but I doubt that holds much water either. I have confidence in your fear tactics.

Go right ahead and opt your daughters out since you have no problem allowing them to get cancer and die if they dare to commit the sin of having sex and while you're at it, shut the fuck up about protecting the "right-to-life" of the unborn since you clearly do not give a shit about the sanctity of human life if it contradicts your view of how that life should be lived. It's an all or nothing issue. All life or none, you don't get to defend only the ones you choose.

Go get a new bucket because yours has a huge gaping hole in it.

LA Times